


Ticking Time Bomb

by BambiBoo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attack on Titan AU, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Nice Levi Ackerman to OC, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide mentions, Tags May Change, Weekly Updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2018-11-14 06:39:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11202525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BambiBoo/pseuds/BambiBoo
Summary: “Levi… I’m dragging you down… My demons inside of me… Fuck Levi… I’m like a ticking time bomb just waiting for myself to explode,” - Oliver“Well then I guess I have to be the one to defuse that ticking time bomb because Oliver you're stuck with me now,” - Levi





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is something I have been working on for a couple of months. At the moment there are five chapters complete so I will be uploading those once a week for the next couple of weeks. After that there may be weekly updates, I'm not too sure so I will let you all know. I am an apprentice who is still in school so that takes a lot of my time. I also try to make lengthy chapters for you all.

1.

[ I was  ](http://www.polyvore.com/oliver_clear/set?id=214817159) walking down the street with Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Marco. We were just leaving the hospital after visiting Annie my best friend and my father. It’s been two weeks since the accident that I caused. Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean and Marco are always trying to tell me it’s not my fault but I already know that it is. It will always be my fault, just like my brothers death was my fault… We had gone to the hospital right after school since we all had time. I was walking a little behind everyone in my own little world of self-hate, Something that occurs in my life a lot more than any 17 year old teenager should feel. I wasn’t really watching where I was going resulting me in bumping into someone and falling onto my already bruised butt. I landed with a hard thud to ground and I gasped in pain. I quickly stood up and dusted myself off carefully as to not irritate my already irritated skin. I looked at the person I bumped into and apologized about three times.

“S-Sorry. I-I wasn’t paying much attention. I’m really sorry. Please forgive me,” I mumbled and bowed my head. I heard a grunt and looked up at the male who looked older than me. He stood at about 5’3 so he was a total of four inches taller than me. He wore mostly black clothing, the only thing that wasn’t black was his undershirt that he was wearing under his leather jacket. It was a dull grey. He had on a choker, black eyeliner and he had two lip piercings better known as Spider bites as well as an eyebrow piercing. 

“Tch, whatever, stop apologizing,” he muttered and walked away. I stood there shocked at what had just happened. My mind was snapped out of the state it was in when Armin ran up to me asked if I was alright

“Are you alright Oliver? That guy just carelessly bumped into you,” he said and started to look to see if I was alright. He touched my arm to see if I was fine but I flinched it back away from him. I didn’t want him to know what my destructive mind has me doing to my body. He wouldn’t understand. He would never understand, never. He looked at me with sadden eyes as if he could see what was happening in my normal day to day life, but I knew he just pitied me. All my friends only stick around because they feel obligated to do so. I’m not stupid, I know, I can see it in their eyes.

“I-I’m fine,” I mumbled and walked quickly to catch up with everyone, Armin walking following in pursuit.

“How about we all go out and eat something, we haven’t done that in a while,” Mikasa suggested. Everyone agreed and looked at me. I just shrugged knowing that I wasn’t going to be able to get out of this. I never can. Plus I would rather be out here with everyone's prying eyes than at home when SHE can find me and hurt me even more… We all headed to Armin and Jean’s cars. I got in with Armin, and Mikasa while Eren and Marco went with Jean. This is the normal seating usually Annie is with us, but you know she can’t be because of my stupidity that landed her and my father in a coma… God why am I such an awful person… I should be the one dead or in a coma… It would be better this way… No it would be better if I was dead, but I know that that’s not a choice that I can make. I have too much I have to pay for (not financial wise). I guess Mikasa was calling my name for a solid fifteen minutes while I was zoned out because when she finally got my attention she sighed and told that we were at Colossals. I got out of the car and readjusted my sleeves. I made sure that my arms weren’t showing since they were hideous. I walked with Armin and Mikasa to the door where Eren, Marco and Jean were waiting for us.

“Come one, I’m hungry,” Eren whined as Jean chuckled at him. That’s pretty normal though, Eren is always hungry, Jean is always either laughing or chuckling at him. They have a very cute relationship, it’s sweet. Mikasa and Annie are the same way… FUCK, poor Mikasa, I took one of the few things she has to look forward to everyday... I’m such a fucking idiot. I guess Mikasa noticed my change in emotion because she put her hand on my head and told me to look at her so I did.

“Stop blaming yourself Oliver, it’s not your fault. It will never be your fault, so stop,” her voice was pained and her eyes were filled with sorrow and pain as well. I looked down not bothering to nod. They always tell me that it wasn’t my fault, that the accident wasn’t caused by me, that it would have happened regardless if it was anyone involved. I never believe them though, I couldn’t bring myself to believe them after all I’m a monster who landed them there and my mother was always the one to remind me of that. She sighed and walked into the restaurant while holding my hand, bringing me in as well. This was also normal, either Mikasa, Annie or Armin holding my hand or staying close to me in public so I wouldn’t freak out and have a panic attack. I always feel weak when this happens but I know they are only trying to help me out. I kept my head down and my one arm tucked away at my side feeling as if everyone could see right through my sleeves and bandaging. I couldn’t handle it. Mikasa gave my hand a small squeeze and we got to the booth. I sat in the middle of Armin and Mikasa and shrank a little in my seat when the waiter came over and asked what we wanted. Colossals was a unique and different type of fast food restaurant. They had people serving you instead of having you go up and order your food from the counter. It was nice, that way no one had to go up and wait in line, instead everyone was seated and there is always someone coming to take your order five to ten minutes after you are seated. It’s not that popular so we always have no problem going and finding a booth to fit us all in. It’s pretty easy since they have a variation of sizes of booths for different sizes of groups of people who come here to eat. 

After everyone ordered, including me since you know Eren is dick nugget and made me get a side order of fries since I hadn’t eaten anything at all. Not my problem that my body just isn’t hungry…. Ever…. 

“you're eating some of those fries Oliver,” Eren said in a strict tone, again a normal in my life even before my brother died which sent me into this spiral of pain and suffering. It just got worse after he died and even worse when Annie and my father were hospitalised.

“No,” I mumbled. I wasn't going to deal with this today.

“Please, your father or Annie wouldn't want you to not eat,” Marco pleaded with me. Another common thing they do. Always bringing up those two when I won't do something good for my body. I sighed looked down at my water that was in front of me. I nodded my head as my way of saying fine and when the food got here I ate half of it. Eren sighed when I wouldn't take another one and eat it. My stomach was way too full now. I over forced myself to eat even that much.

“At least you have something in your system Liv,” Jean said and gave a small smile. During the rest of our conversation, no one really talked unless it had to do with school… ugh school, I hate it there almost as much as I hate it at home. We never really laugh or talk anymore when we all hang out. Maybe the small bit of conversation would come out but it would always end quickly. It never lasted more than ten minutes unless it was an argument, which I never stayed for. 

“So does everyone have their dances prepared for your trip to the dance class at Trost,” everyone nodded yeah. Marco said you instead of our because he was a grade higher than us, meaning he was in his last year of high school, lucky. We then finished in eating in silence. It didn't bother me though since I had my headphones with me. Once we paid and cleaned up we left. This time tough I was Armin, Mikasa and Eren since we all live around each other. I was seated in the front seat with Armin driving. Armin pulled up to my house twenty minutes later. I got out, bid them farewell and looked at the drive way. My father's car, my car and my….. Mothers car was in the driveway. Oh god, my mother was home. 

“Hey, Liv, come back to my place. I don't want you home with just her there,” Armin said in a pleading tone. I shook my head.

“I’ll be fine Armin,” I gave him my most convincing fake smile and walked up to the door with my keys out of my pocket. I heard Armin plead a little more for me to go to his house so I just turned around gave him a look saying that I was going to be fine. I unlocked my door and Armin told me to give him a call if something happened. He drove off and I walked in. My mother was in the living room with a glass of what looked and smelled like whisky. This was going to be a long long night. 

“Oliver is that you,” she called out, her voice sounding rough and slurred. 

“Yes mother it’s it's me,” I called out loud enough for her to hear me. I walked over as she stood up. She set her glass down and walked over to me. She looked very calm, like she normally does when she's about to hurt me. It's scary house she can be so calm when she is hurting her own daughter. She was now right in front of me with her hand raised, in one swift motion it connected painfully with my face. The blunt force caused my head to flick to the side. I felt the tears threatening to fall but I did my best to keep any emotion from them. 

“Where the fucking hell were you, you stupid brat. You were supposed to make me dinner,” she said, her face looking deadly. 

“I-I told you that I wasn't going to be home to cook for you, I-I was at the hospital… I left you some egg salad in the fridge,” my voice just barely above a whisper. Her hand in fist forum then came in contact with my face causing me to stumble backwards ever so slightly

“Get the fuck to your room and don't fucking come out,” she yelled and pushed me rather hard against the wall. My breath was knocked right out of my lungs as I made contact with it. I ran all the way up to room, closed the door and locked it. This was a normal recurring thing that always happens when I decide to go to the hospital or stay after school for dance. She does it because I deserve it, I agree with her. I'm nothing but a monster and I don't deserve to even love but the fucked up gods say otherwise. I thought about texting Armin but I pushed that thought away knowing that I would just be bothering him. Instead for the rest of my sleepless night I seeked the comfort of a small silver sharp blade, a hot fiery lighter and my blank canvas that wasn't really blank; my arm.

 

*

 

[ I slept ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=214937687) maybe an hour before I had to get up and get ready for school… not that I really wanted to but it was better than skipping and being beat by my mother all day long. Plus Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Jean and Marco would probably come storming my house if I didn’t show up and drag me there themselves. It wouldn’t be the first time it happened like that. I dragged my extremely tired ass out of bed and over to the bathroom that was connected to my room. I looked at my arms and stared at them blankly. Five new deep slashes blended in with the rest of the red, swollen or white skin on my pale white arm. Stupid idiot, worthless stupid idiot. I then started the shower. I turned the water warm at first but once I was in it I turned it as hot as I could manage without screaming in terror as to not wake my probably hungover mother. Once I was finished I put my clothing on, wrapping my wrists before hand. I wrapped them with gauze and tape to make sure that the gauze wouldn’t come off. I carefully slipped on my long sleeve shirt and put on all my bracelets. Thankfully no one questions my wearing so many bracelets because I always have (Most of them now changed from pastel colours to darker ones though). I then slipped on my jeans and sweater. It was still October so I could get away with wearing long sleeves and not be judged. I put a pair of tights, clean socks and a long sleeved shirt in my bag along with a bunch of my school supplies that I never use. I really only understand Art (visual), dance, drama (Acting), vocals, music (instruments) and Piano. Other classes like Maths, English, French, History, Geography and Science, I never understood them. I have always struggled with them. Always only managing a D in them, rather than my normal A+ in all the arts.

I looked at the time and sighed. I had a half an hour to get to school, thankfully it only took me ten minutes to get there. I really wanted to leave early thought that way I didn’t have to deal with my mother. I put my bag on my shoulders and walked out of my room shutting off the light and fan. I walked down the stairs and seen my mother in the kitchen. I froze in my spot, fear taking over. She wasn’t supposed to be awake… She was supposed to be asleep or passed out until noon like usual… Why was she awake so early. I always make sure to get out of the house before she is awake.

“Oh look it’s the piece of trash daughter that thinks she can leave without saying bye to the one who gave birth to her,” my mother spat as she stumbled over to me. I stayed in my spot to afraid to move. She raised her hand to my already bruised face that I can’t cover because my stupid foundation is gone so I have to wear my sunglasses all day and get stared at even damn more. I need to stop off at Sephora to get my two-faced powder, thankfully I still have a lot birthday money from other relatives and have been saving up since I was young. I don’t spend all of my money on random things and I don’t really go shopping so I have money in my bank that I don’t use.

“Your uncle will be here tonight, you better be here when he gets here, you know how he is. God I should just let him take you with him. You deserve it you bitch. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE,” My mother screamed at me to get out of her face, so I ran out of the house and over to my car. I unlocked my car in a rush and got in. I shoved my bag into the passenger seat and started to sob in driver's seat of my car. Fuck…  my uncle… I hate him more than I hate my mother… He took the one thing that was meant for lovers. I sobbed and cried for a solid five minutes before putting my car in drive and driving to the hell hole that I call a school. I pulled up ten minutes later. There was still ten minutes before school started and I didn’t care about getting in early or at all so I just sat in my car. I sat there until the bell rang and after that I sat for another five minutes contemplating going home and calming my mind by numbing it with fire and cuts. I didn’t though, I don’t know why since it wouldn’t be the first time I had done it. Something in me just told me not to, I hate myself for listening to it, I hate myself for doing anything. I sighed and got out of my car. I got my bag and walked inside. Once inside I headed towards my English class on the second floor. 

I got there and opened the door, I made sure my face was blank, my sunglasses were at least covering my eyes nicely and my sleeves we down hiding my arms from the world. I walked in while the whole class was reading. Everyone's eyes were on me and I felt the need to turn around and run out of there but that little voice that I decided to listen this morning was back and telling me to suck it up and that something was going to come of staying today. 

“Nice of you to actually join us Ms. Clear,” my teacher said and nodded at me. He then told me what we were doing. The whole time he eyed my face seeing the bruises that my mother left one my skin once again. I shied away from looking at him nodded and went to my desk beside Armin. My face was down the whole time. I took out my manga that I decided to bring with me today. Since we had to read silently for the whole class today why not read my manga… It’s still classified as a book right? I was reading Love Stage! Right now, it’s really cute. After finishing the manga I put it away and pulled out my sketchbook. I drew for the rest of the quiet time until the teacher said that we could talk with our friends for the last ten minutes of class. Armin looked over at me with a worried look and hid my face in my manga that I already finished. I made it look like I was still reading it so he wouldn’t bother me.

“Oliver…. What happened last night,” he whispered as he lifted his hand to my face to trace the newly forming bruise from this morning. There was no way I was going to get out of this one so I just sighed and choose not to answer him. It was the best thing I could do so that I wouldn’t break down again like the stupid worthless human I am. 

“Liv, please answer me,” he whispered again this time his voice filled with Pain and sadness. Great Oliver now you have caused him pain, you such a fuck up.

“I-I…. mother hit me again. I didn’t want to bother you so I just dealt with it by drawing,” I whispered back my voice barely hearable. He managed to hear it though with how close he had gotten.

“It’s a good thing we will be at the college for the rest for the rest of the day, I want to see the rest of your face so I can asses the damage,” he mumbled and traced part of the bruise that I wasn’t able to hide due to not having m foundation. I frowned and shook my head not wanting him to see the damage that was displayed across my face for everyone to see.

“Please Liv. I still have some of that cream that will help with the bruising and swelling. Let me help you, you don’t deserve to be hurt like this,” he pleaded his voice a little higher now. I gave him a sigh and looked at him. He looked like he wanted to cry and I hate it when Armin cries. My best friend shouldn’t feel the need to cry over someone as worthless as me.

“Fine,” I mumbled as the bell rang. I had my things already packed since I only brought out my manga and sketch things. We headed towards the arts section of the school. On our way there we were stopped by a group of students who are known for bullying others. It was a group of three girls and four boys.

“Oh lookie here, it’s the cry baby and the emo kid,” one of the tallest girls said and laughed with her friends. 

“Yeah, I bet ms. emo over here was late because she couldn’t find her foundation to hide her hideous face,” the shortest said. Mind you she was still taller than me…. One of the males then came forward and pushed Armin slightly causing him to stumble back. I quickly went to the side to help him but was stopped by the queen bitch herself.

“Where do you think you're going emo girl,” she said and caught me in a tight grip on my already grotesque arm. I winced because where she grabbed was where the fresh lines were made in my skin last night. I felt the breath leave my body and I started to shake in fear. My heart starts to pound so fast that I thought that it was going to be the death of me. 

“Leave them alone,” I heard the familiar voice of Mikasa yelling. I looked over to see her, Jean, Eren and Marco running over to us. Mikasa ran straight over to me and pulled the queen bitch off of me. Jean did the same for Armin who was being held by the collar of his blue button up shirt. The rest of their group laughed and walked away saying that we were all losers and fucked up.  Eren noticed right away that I was out of it and beckoned us to the studio that we were supposed to meet it. Thankfully no other students were there but the teachers who were very accustomed to me coming in like this. 

“Hey, Liv, look at me, look at me and breath,” Marco said and got in front of me. He sat me on the cold ground and my breathing was very fast paced and had no rhythm to it.

“Breath, in, out, in, out, “He said and did it so that I could match his movements. It worked slowly.

“Good job, just keep breathing, count to ten if you need to. Close your eyes and think of the waterfall we went to go see,” Marco said and made me look him in the eye. I did as I was instructed to do. I calmed down just as the bell rang and students started to come in. I gave all my friends a weak smile and thanked Marco. He was a big help when it came to my panic attacks and how to deal with them. The male teacher other known as Mr. Lee or Taemin to me and my group of friends (A/N: Lee Taemin, I’m not sorry to use him. He’s an amazing dancer and I wanted him to be a teacher for it so he is, deal with it) walked up to us with a sad smile on his face. This wasn’t the first time that this has happened so he was used to it by now. 

“Are you alright Oliver?” he asked, looking at me. I nodded my head and looked away from him. This was recurring for this class. I used to be a lot more engaged with the teachers, like actually answering them or dancing to make them proud since they were the ones that taught me and friends how to dance since we were young. Lee Taemin and Kwon Minji aka Minzy have been teacher us how to dance for nearly twelve years now. They have moved along with us to watch up improve on how we dance and teach us more as go. I don’t want to let them down, but I already know that I have.. I always let people down, it’s something I’m good at not fucking up on.

“You know for a fact that I don’t believe you but alright. Are you five ready with your dances?” he asked. We all said yes and he smiled. He said well then walked away towards Minzy who was helping out some students with their odd ends of their dance. This was going to be a long afternoon, I could already tell and that voice that keeps telling me to do stuff hasn’t shut up. It’s driving me crazy, but it’s not like I’m not there already. Another ten minutes of waiting around and we were finally on our way to the college that was about a fifteen minute drive from our school. We all got in our cars or got in with someone who was driving and left for the college. 

 

*

 

We arrived just in time for the college dance class to start. We would be sitting in on it and even presenting a dance of our own during this class. We would be doing this once a week from now on apparently. So we had to come up with a new dance each week. It wasn’t a big problem for me since dance was one thing that kept me distracted from things for a while. I parked my car beside Armin’s and got out carrying my bag with me. I emptied my school contents in the back seat before zipping it up, slugging it over my shoulder and slamming my car door shut. This was going to be a long afternoon. 

“Hey, are you ready?” Eren said and walked up to me with Jean behind him. Marco was also with them since he had a spare he was allowed to tag along with us. Minzy and Taemin were pretty cool like that. 

“I guess,” I mumbled and walked towards everyone who was waiting at the doors of the college. My nerves then started again and I felt like it was hard to breath. Armin noticed and quickly took my hand in his giving it a gentle squeeze. He said everything was going to be fine and for the first time in a few weeks I actually believed him. I don’t know why but I did. I braced myself as we walked in and directed to the dance class and change room where we  [ changed  ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=215110933) -I went into a stall claiming that I had to use it- and walked into the class as a group. I sat with Armin, Mikasa, Marco, Jean and Eren who chose to sit by the Minzy and Taemin. I was fine with that though. I already knew that I wasn’t going until like the middle, I was the 12 person for the dance since I asked for that for a reason. You go first, you’re most likely going to be remembered, you go last, you will also be remembered, you go in the middle though you are mostly likely to be forgotten. All of my friends took this route. 

“Everyone this Maria high school here with us for the rest of the day. They will be observing us and learning some techniques as well as performing a dance after introductions,” the teacher said.

“So as all of the people in my class know but you guys don’t, we do introductions a little differently. I want each of you to pair up with a student in my class, we have a list already of pairings that we hand-picked based on the skill level that way no one feels like they are mismatched because of their skills, so I will read them off,” The teacher said. The list was then read off and everyone was in their pairs. The only one not paired was Marco since he wasn’t technically in the class but was there for support and to help out the teachers.

 

List: 

Mikasa and Erwin

Armin and Hanji

Eren and Petra

Jean and Isabel

Oliver and Levi

 

(I’m only putting the friends down in the list)

 

I walked over to Minzy, Taemin and the teacher’s name that I never really cared for learning. Walking up as well was the same guy that I bumped into at the hospital. The only difference is that he was wearing a black pullover sweater and dark grey jogging pants. We were then instructed to go over to where Marco was standing. I didn’t like the idea of getting to know someone because that means that there is another person who will want me dead in the next few minutes. Thankfully Marco stayed close by and Levi didn’t seem like much of a talker. 

“Alright so you each have sixty seconds to say three facts about yourself, I want everyone to participate, no slackers. Let’s show these teenagers how things work around here,” the teacher said and smirked looking over at Levi as if directly telling him to participate. Levi rolled his eyes and I moved my line of sight to the floor. I didn’t want to do this, I felt my chest start to tighten again afraid that I was going to screw up. Marco Minzy came over and smiled, I guess she could tell that I was having troubles…

“Hey, Levi, I’m Minzy, one of two dance teachers at Maria high. I have heard a lot about you from your teacher. Apparently, you're the most talented! Oliver is our most talented dancer in our school, you’ll get along good,” she smiled at Levi and he just nodded. He didn’t say anything in return but the nod, you could tell was something meaningful to him.

“Why don’t you start it off Levi,” Minzy said, smiled and walked off. I gave her a look at distress and felt Levi’s eyes on me.

“Look, I can tell you don’t like getting to know new people, neither do I, but let’s get this over with. Simple things,” he said in a soothing voice. I nodded and set the timer on my phone for sixty seconds. I pressed the start button and he started.

“I’m Levi, I like anything that has to do with art, I prefer to dance because I have a control over how my body moves,” he said in under thirty seconds. He then restarted the time and looked at me for my confirmation to start it. I gave him a small nod and thought for a second. Nice and simply Oliver, keep breathing. He pressed start.

“I-I’m Oliver, I also love anything to with a-art especially dance and I like to draw,” I whispered loud enough for him to hear me. I didn’t want anyone to hear me because they would judge me, unlike Levi where I kind of felt at peace around him. It scares me though. 

“Nice to meet you, Oliver,” he said and nodded once. I mumbled a ‘nice to meet you as well’ and looked at the ground. I didn’t want anyone to see how flustered I was because I know for a fact that they will bother me.

*

Once everyone finished we were told that us Maria high students were going to do our dances and then get back into our partners for the rest of the class. We were finally going to able to dance! One after another everyone did their dance and finally, it was my turn. Mikasa and Armin both came over and gave me a good luck. They looked excited to see my  [ dance ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiqaqrHPixw) (Based on of this dance, credits to Fik Shun) since I never showed them or anything. As soon as I was given the okay I turned off my mental state and focused on the dance that I was dancing. I got into my starting position and as soon as the music started, I started.

 

*

After dancing my heart out I walked back over to Levi who was sitting with a girl with Brown hair and tall Captain America looking blonde guy who’s eyebrow game is on fleek. Mikasa and Armin were with them as well. Once I was over there they said that it was amazing. I just shrugged and looked down not believing them… They gave me sad smiles as Levi then reluctantly introduced me to his friends; Hanji and Erwin. I only got their names though because Eren was starting his dance next. For the rest of Maria’s dances, I watched in silent knowing that they all did better than me since I couldn’t practice as much. 

 

*

Everyone was now finished their dances even the college students and I must say… Levi was by far the best of them, I actually found myself smiling as he danced. We were now back in our pairs and working on a short dance together. Levi and just sat there in a surprisingly comfortable silence. Before we were told to start we decided on free style since our styles are the same. A half an hour later the teacher came up to us looking frustrated that we did nothing. She made us go first because of that. I tensed right up not wanting to go first… I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Levi standing there, he gave my shoulder a firm yet soft squeeze as if saying we will be fine. I felt calmer after that and took a small breath in. He walked over to whoever was going to put the music on and hooked up his phone. He gave the person the go ahead when he was back in position which was just standing beside me… 

 

*

 

After we finished our freestyle  [ dance ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVldQgUG37I) we walked back to where Hanji, Erwin, Mikasa and Armin were. Everyone seemed shocked at how well we worked together to do such a good freestyle. I kept my head down once again until the next duo went. As everyone finished I watched with content. They were all so amazing. Everyone finished and we were told that we all got to leave early which was fine with me since I’m going to the hospital. We all packed up and left. I said bye to everyone and thanked Levi for being an amazing partner. I got to my car put my bag in the back seat and drove off in the direction of the hospital. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as of now. I will be uploading every Saturday between 12 Noon and 9 PM EDT. I know the first chapter was posted on a Wednesday but since Saturdays are the easiest for me to actually get on here and post, I figured that I would post then and not Wednesdays.

It’s been a few days since going to the college and meeting Levi -who hasn’t left my mind might I add in- and [ I am ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=215221684) now walking around since I don’t really want to go home because of my mother… I wasn’t even going anywhere in general just walking around close to my house that way if I do end up getting a call I can rush home and my mother not be TOO angry with me. As I walked I looked at all the different little shops and buildings that were lining the street that I was on. I stopped in front of what looked like a studio. I looked in the window and noticed Levi working on a dance with erwin. I stood there for a few minutes before feeling someone touch my shoulder. I jumped and flinched away from the touch. I turned quickly to see Hanji standing there. I shrank back and tried to apologize. She giggled and cut me off.

“Omigod, you’re the girl that was Levi’s partner a couple days ago when Maria high came!” she squealed out. I shrank back and nodded. 

“You were so amazing, wow!” she gushed out and pulled me into a hug. I made a weird sound and she pulled back.

“You should come inside, Levi hasn’t stopped talking about you so you should say hi, I saw you watching them!” she said, not giving me a chance to reject she pulled me into the studio after taping the key card. She pulled me in and over to Erwin and Levi who who stopped dancing to see what Hanji was doing. They were a little shocked to see me with her so I tried to make a b-line to the door. Hanji wasn’t going to have it though and dragged me over to the two boys. 

“Guys look, it’s Levi’s partner from Maria high!” Hanji squealed and shoved me forward, it wasn’t harsh but I still felt my heart rate pick up and my breath start to becoming uneven. I was about to have a panic attack again. 

“She’s not my partner anymore Hanji, look you scared her,” Levi said and guided me over to a seat carefully, looking as if he knows that I may end up having a panic attack at any moment.

“Hanji, she looks like she is going to have a panic attack, go get her some water,” Erwin instructed. I felt somewhat calm with Levi touching me and felt the panic attack slowly leaving my system. Hanji listened, went off and came back with a water bottle that she cracked open for me. She passed it to me and I sipped on it. 

“S-Sorry,” I mumbled and kept my head down so they couldn’t see the bruises that danced across my face from my mother over the last few days. I haven’t been able to go get my foundation since the only mall that has a Sephora anywhere near us in the next town over. I haven’t had to go there, with dance, my mother and other things going on.

“Hey, no need to apologise, I’m the one that pulled you in here without giving you chance to speak,” Hanji smiled out. She seems nice.

“Yeah, don’t worry about shitty glasses at all,” Levi mumbled and kept his hand on my back because as soon as he moved it I could feel my body tense.

“S-Still sorry,” I mumbled.

“Look I told you this when I bumped into you at the hospital, stop apologizing, you seem to do that a lot,” Levi said and rolled his eyes. He’s already sick of my stupid shit… I opened my mouth to apologize but closed it quickly.

“So what are you doing in this area, Oliver?” Erwin asked. 

“J-Just walking,” I mumbled not letting them know that I was avoiding my house like the plague at the moment.

“Well why don’t you stay awhile, we can teach you a dance or you can teach us, we can also do something else,” Erwin suggested. I looked at them with weary eyes and asked if that was alright with them.

“Yeah, it’s fine, plus I really liked watching you dance so I want to see more, I mean that’s if you have nowhere else you're needed right now,” Erwin said and smiled softly. I didn’t even realize that I had looked up causing them to see the bruises that were now on my face.

“What happened to your face?” Levi questioned. My eyes went wide and I moved my gaze the floor again. What the hell you fuck up, why did you let them see your face?

“Answer me Oliver,” Levi whispered and moved his hand to my face, he lifted it I was forced to face him.

“I got beat up,” I mumbled. Technically not a lie, but I wasn’t about to tell them that I’m beat at home just of them to judge me and call me a fuck up as well.

“That looks like more than one session, now that I recall, you had bruises when you came to the college as well, those one’s are fading while these ones look fresh, maybe only a couple hours old,” Erwin said and got close to my face. I flinched backwards and nearly fell out of the chair. Thankfully Levi was there to catch me so I didn’t.

“W-Well it happens a lot,” I mumbled and looked for a way out of this conversation.

“Why don’t you tell someone at the school or wherever it’s happening?” Hanji questions me. ‘Because it will only result in me being beat even more, or possibly killed,’ I wanted to say but bit my tongue on that.

“B-Because…,” I mumbled. They dropped the conversation quickly and Levi sighed.

“Here I’m going to make you a pass to get into this studio, don’t lose it. I’m usually here, so is Erwin and Hanji. If you need anything, please come here quickly,” Levi said and walked over to a computer where he unplugged a camera.

“Come stand in front of this black sheet. I will take care of the bruising once the picture is uploaded to the computer. Hurry though,” Levi mumbled. I quickly got out of my spot and went over to the sheet and stood there. He told me to take off my glasses and I hesitated.

“Don’t worry we won't judge you or stair,” Hanji said with a sweet smile on her face. She and Armin would get along pretty well. They both seem sweet, the only thing is, is that Hanji may end up awakening a crazy Armin. I slipped my sunglasses off and passed them to Hanji. They spoke the truth when Hanji said they weren’t going to stair. Quickly Levi snapped the picture and plugged the camera back into the computer. He pulled up the picture and I cringed at the bruises that were on my face. I didn’t even realize that it was that bad. Erwin put a calming hand on my shoulder and tensed at first but calmed down after. It was weird how they could calm me down nearly instantly while for my friends it took them up to ten minutes to calm me down… I’m just fucked up. Levi did a quick edit of the photo and quickly hit the print button. A minute of so later a little plastic card popped out of a machine.

“Don’t touch it for a few minutes since it’s really hot,” Levi said and closed everything down on the computer. That was fast, like really fast.

“So while we wait do you want to dance with us Oliver?” Hanji said, grinning like crazed women.

“I-I don’t really have a choice do I-I,” I asked and tried to smile. I needed to try and at least act  _ normal  _ or at least as normal as I can whatever normal is...

*

 

We danced for close to an hour before we sat down to take a break and talk, I didn’t really want to talk but I was at least going to try. That little voice that was bothering me a couple days is back and telling me to try and trust these three college seniors… So I listened to it…. Again… What the fuck is wrong with me… Oh yeah…. Everything…

“So how is school, besides the bullies?” Erwin asked as we sat at an art table at the back of the studio that seemed to have everything art related. 

“We-Well good I guess, I’m close to failing if not actually failing a bunch of classes because they make no sense.. B-But it’s always like that,” I say and look at the bottle of water that was in my hands. 

“What subjects are you having problems in?” Hanji asked smiling.

“E-Everything not r-related to a-art,” I sighed out.

“So English, French, Geography, History, Maths and Science?” Levi asked. I nodded and they asked what the grades were.

“W-well since you ne-need a 50% to pass everything, in English I have a 51, Science I have a 40 so I’m failing that one, History I have a 53, Maths I have a 50 Geography I have a 50 and in French I have a 48 so I’m failing that class as well….,” I managed to say. Great now they are going to judge me on my stupid grades that I don’t care about.

“Well damn, how about we help you,” Hanji blurted out with a soft expression on her face. I gave her an expression of shock and started to shake my head frantically. I don’t want to burden them at all…

“I-I don’t want to be a-a burden,” I said in a frantic tone as well. Levi’s head snapped towards me and he had an unreadable look on it. 

“Don’t ever call yourself a burden in front of us. There is evidence that you are not a burden since you are still here,” he said in calm voice. It made me calm down just slightly.

“Exactly, we actually have a lot of free time since we rarely have classes,” Erwin said and offered a bright smile. I nodded my head slightly but still went to protest.

“No more protesting, we are going to help you,” Levi said in a authoritative voice. I listened to him and he gave a small smile. Not much of one but it was still a small one.

“So how about tomorrow if you can, meet us here and we start with Science and French since you are failing both. Bring a list of EVERYTHING you have missed or not handed in so that we know what we need to do,” Hanji offered. I just nodded. It was going to stop me from going home so at least I didn’t have to worry about dealing with my mother… But the hospital…

“It will have to be after 4 since we get out around 2:20 and I have something I NEED to do,” I managed not to stutter out. I felt proud of myself for not stuttering this time.

“Alright, then it’s a deal,” Erwin chuckled. I offered a small smile which everyone returned.

“Well why don’t we do some art, unless your going to head out Oliver?” Hanji asked. I pulled out my phone and said a small no, it was only seven. The latest I was aloud to be home was around eleven so I was good for now, I mean if my mother had her way, I would be locked up the attic or in the basement, or even my room so that she could beat me all the time. It would be worse by the time I get home by eleven but I really don’t want to say goodbye to these three. I felt calm around them, something that hasn’t happened since my brother died. I mean I feel kind of calm when Annie is with me or Armin or Mikasa but this is a new kind of calm…

“I don’t have any of my drawing things with me…” I said.

“You can use anything here. If it has our names on it you can use it. It’s all funded by the school so it’s not like it’ll be going to waist. You can also store your things in one of the cubbies over there, I will put your name on the one by the three of us,” Levi said and did just that. My eyes went wide as Erwin opened up a closet filled with art supplies. I quickly made my way over to it and they are chuckled, even Levi. 

“You look like a child that has found a secret stash of candy Oliver,” Hanji giggled out and walked over. She helped pick a bunch of things and take them over to the table. They then got their things and I started a picture. 

 

*

 

By the time I finished the picture it was close to 10:45. I quickly packed all my new art things in the little cubby the three provided for me. I was thankful that Hanji dragged me in here at the beginning of the night… 

“Why are you in such a rush?” Erwin asked packing up his things as well. Levi looked at me and tilted his head in an adorable way. 

“O-oh, I um have to get home before eleven so that my mother doesn’t get upset,” again not a lie but not the whole truth, I left out the part where she would probably be waiting to beat me…

“Why don’t I give you a drive?” Levi said in a bored tone. He packed his things up as I said a soft no and that my house wasn’t that far from here. It’s about a half an hour walk so if I run then it will only take fifteen minutes.

“Nonsense, just let Levi drive you. He doesn’t usually offer them. Plus even if you run, you will be late,” Hanji said and looked at me. She had a look of sadness on her face as she watched me fidget with my sleeves. She looked at if she could tell what I was doing at night and how these bruises appeared on my pale skin. Bull shit if she knew, I make sure to keep everything hidden when it comes to this, the only bruises visible as the ones on my face, neck and chest since I didn’t wear a turtleneck, took off my scarf and didn’t have my foundation…

“F-Fine,” I mumbled and pulled my sleeves down once more. He rolled his eyes and finished putting everything away.

“We will see you back at the dorm, text us or call if you decide to go to your grandmothers and stay there,” Erwin said and started to clean the place to close it down. I felt bad that I couldn’t help them clean but at the same time I really needed to get home or else I won't be able to see daylight tomorrow...

“Let’s get you home then,” he said and walked out of the door. I followed him and we went around the back where I’m guess all their cars were parked. Levi walked over to a shiny black porsche-cayman. I cautiously followed him and he unlocked the car.

“Get in brat, I don’t want you to be late,” Levi mumbled and got into the driver's side. He called me a brat… he doesn’t care as much as he says he does just like everybody else, but yet I’m still so attached to him and the other two and I haven’t even been around for more than twenty-four hours. I got in quickly and buckled up. I didn’t want to delay him anymore than I already have. I’m such a burden, maybe I should just not show up tomorrow… I gave him my address and he drove off in the direction of my hellish home…

“Don’t you dare think about skipping out tomorrow alright, do you want a drive to school and picked up?” Levi asked me and looked over at me as we stopped at a red light.

“O-Oh no I’m fine. I can take my old car in, if it decides to start up…” I tried to giggle slightly but it didn’t work so I just sighed. 

“Well then let me drive you in, I don’t mind, I don’t have classes till twelve and it’s not like I care if I drive you. I like spending time with you, just don’t tell shitty glasses or bushy brows alright?” he chuckled and I nodded. The light turned green and he started to drive again.

“So I will pick you up tomorrow around seven that way we can go get a coffee or something in the morning. I’m not taking a no either Oliver,” his voice was stern as he parked in front of my house where my mother was waiting in the window for me. Oh god no… she seen me… I’m screwed. After staring at the window in shock Levi called my name.

“Oliver, are you alright? Who is that in the window and why do you look terrified that they are staring at you?” he asked in a concerned tone. I snapped out of my mind set and looked at him. 

“I-I’m fine,” I mumbled and went to get out. He stopped me and pulled back into the seat.

“No your not, what is that women to you and why are you so afraid of her,” he demanded to know. I flinched away and looked over to the window where my mother was now glaring at the car that I was seated in.

“I need to get inside Levi please,” I whispered but yet I didn’t fight against him. 

“Fine, text me in the morning and I will come and get you,” he mumbled. He wrote down his number and passed it to me. He told me not forget to text me. I nodded and told him I wouldn’t. I got out of the car and walked up to my door. I turned, waved and unlocked the door. I heard Levi pull away and my mother walked over to me. 

“Your uncle is here you stupid child. Next time don’t make him wait,” she spat out and my body went rigid. Oh god not him…. This is the second time this week he’s come… Usually it’s only every two weeks or so. I felt my mother hand come in contact with my left cheek. I remained silent and nodded. She pulled into the living room where my creep of an uncle was sitting there waiting for me with a glass off what smelled to be scotch in his hand. He looked at me and smirked. It was going to be a long and painful night full of screaming, pleas for him to stop and blood. I was going to be sore tomorrow inside and out…

 

*

So it been a week since that happened… I have been spending a lot of time visiting the hospital and getting help from Hanji, Erwin and Levi. Levi has been driving me to and from school without letting me say no. The three know that Annie and my father are in the hospital. Levi seems to be suspicious of my mother which isn’t good because that means he may call. He can’t know though. I can’t leave that house knowing that my father and Annie are in that hospital because of me. Right now Levi is trying to get me to tell him who my mother is.

“Tell me if she is the one hurting you,” he demanded, this time his voice softer.  [ I  ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=219946664) felt the tears want to fall from my eyes but I held them back. I wasn’t going to tell him anything… He probably doesn’t care anyway… 

“Please Oliver, please, I can help you,” he pleaded with me. I felt the tears start to fall and my heart break into a million more pieces than it was already broken into. I just let it all go and did bother to hold any of it back. This is first time in long time since I last did this.

“I’m here Oliver, I promise, you just have to tell me things,” he soothingly said into my hair. I cried as he whispered sweet nothings into my hair where his face was buried. For fuck sakes I barely knew him but yet here I am balling my eyes out while sitting in his car and my mother is watching me through the window… what the fuck is wrong with me.

“I’m sorry, fuck I don’t know anymore,” I sobbed out and he just wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“Take your time. I just want to know if she is hurting you, please Oliver, you can stay with me if you need to,” he said in a caring voice. 

“S-She is … she has been for the last year now… It’s even worse these past three weeks… please don’t tell anyone, or hurt me for telling you,” I sobbed out once more. I kept on crying out the word please as he just soothingly rubbed my back and held me close.

“I need to tell someone so they can help you, I’m not going to hurt you brat,” this time when he said brat I felt as if it was a term of endearment not an insult… 

“No please don’t I can handle this…” I whispered out.

“Oliver, clearly you can’t handle this, please at least stay the night at my dorm with Hanji, Erwin and I. Please, I don’t want you to be hurt,” he said and pulled back to look me in the eye. I started to shake my head no.

“Please,” he cried out, “I will come in with you, please just come with me or call up one of your friends,” he pleaded with me and I just nodded. I was to exhausted to even care anymore and worse of all I seeked the needing of the sharp silver blade and lighter. Instead I just scratched at my the back of my hands as Levi unbuckled his seatbelt. I scratched until he noticed and took my hand that I was scratching into his own. He looked sad and upset.

“Come on, I don’t want you in that house alone for a few days,” he said and got out of the car. I got out as well and he met with him. He took his hand in mine and walked over to the door that unlocked. My mother was still in the house staring at us through the window until we entered the house. She came over to us and I kept my head down. Levi’s hand tightened around mine and I flinched as my mother came up to me. 

“Your late Oliver,” she said in a voice that could only say angry and frustrated.

“S-Sorry, I will be going to my friend's house for a couple of days,” I whispered.

“No you won’t, the only friends you have, you don’t deserve you, stupid child,” she said in a calm voice that made me start to shake.

“She WILL be coming with me. I know what you do to her, my friends, her friends we all know and I WILL call the police on you, don’t take me as fool lady,” he growled and held me close as my mother lunged for us. I let out some sort of sound that had a mix of pain and fear in it. I quickly detached myself from Levi despite him reaching out for me and I pushed him away so he wouldn’t get hurt. My mother came slammed me into the wall and my breath left my lungs. She held me by the throat and lifted me up. She was strong, she stood at about 5’10 and was of average weight for someone who was in their thirties. My vision started to become blurry from lack of oxygen entering my lungs. It was painful. 

“Have you even told him what you did. How you were the cause of your brother's death a year ago and your father and that stupid girl Annie are in the hospital in a fucking coma because of you… Or have you kept him in the dark because you don’t want him knowing that the same thing will happen to him at some point for your own fucking stupidity,” she yelled out and tightened her grip. My vision started to go black as I tried to struggle for air. 

All of a sudden I fell to the ground gasping for air and holding back sobs of pain. Everything hurt, my throat was on fire and eyes burned. I looked around to see what was happening. Levi was holding my mother down and screaming something at her. I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying since my ears were ringing. My mother was fighting against the grip that Levi had on her arms. My ears stopped ringing and I finally heard Levi calling my name to call Erwin and Hanji or one of my other friends. I shakily took out my phone before clicking on Armin number. He was the first on in my call log and I know for a fact that he would drop everything and show up in a heartbeat.

Armin: Oliver? What’s up?

Oliver: H-Help…

Armin: Liv what’s wrong, where are you?

Oliver: Help, Levi’s holding mother down… I don’t know what to do. Min help…

Armin: I’m on my way, go up to your room and lock your door. Call the police or something Liv get out of there.

Oliver: I-I won’t leave Levi

Armin: God damn it. Liv I’m on my way.

 

The line went dead all of a sudden and I panicked. I don’t know what’s happening. I sat there horrified as Levi struggled with my mother. I wanted to go help but I was stuck in place like the stupid piece of shit that I am… I crawled my way over to try and help him but he told me to go and pack some of my stuff. I hesitated but listened anyway way when he told me to go again. I ran up to my room and started to throw everything into my duffel back that I had laying around. A couple minutes later my door was thrown open and I screamed not knowing who it was. I fell to the ground curled into a ball and started to shake. 

“Hey, Hey Liv, It’s me. It’s me Armin. Liv, look at me, breath,” I heard the distant voice of Armin saying. I did stop shaking but I slowly tried to calm my breathing. One thing was on my mind and that was what Levi was doing and if he is okay.

“L-Levi,” I cried out. I needed to know if he was okay. It’s all my fault. I’m so stupid.

“He’s alright, Jean, Marco, Mikasa and Eren are down there helping him. Oliver look at me,” he whispered cradling me in his arms. He cradled me in his arms but it didn’t stop me from panicking and freaking out over Levi still being in danger down there. Over all my friends being down there. My mother won't hurt my friends she has already met but Levi she has never met.

“MARCO GET LEVI UP HERE, SHE’S PANICKING,” Armin yelled. I flinched and tried to pry myself out of his arms to get to the door quickly. He held me close to him not letting me move. For someone so small he was very strong, either that, or I was extremely weak like the worthless child I am. I heard feet running up the stairs and into my room. I held my eyes shut tightly, shaking and crying. I felt arms around me that weren’t familiar but yet they made me feel calm. 

“Brat open your eyes, I’m alright see,” Levi whispered taking me completely from Armin arm. I was still shaking but I opened eyes to confirm it was him. I regret opening them because as soon as I did I noticed the cut on the left side of his face. I shakily lifted my hand to his face and touched the cut softly. He didn’t flinch but his face showed pain.

“I’m fine,” he whispered. I let a strangled sob out and threw my arms around him. I didn’t care, if he didn’t want it, I needed to hug him in order to make me feel better about my stupidity. He didn’t even hesitate to wrap his arms around me in a protective manner.

“We are going to leave, I’m taking her to my dorm since her mother will probably look for her at all of your houses, I have Hanji and Erwin there, you guys know them. We need to get her out of here,” Levi said. 

“I will pack the rest of her things and bring them over, use her phone and text me the address. Get Liv out of here,” Armin said in a low tone. I didn’t hear much after that… I blacked out. I remember muttering about my laptop and books and other small things but not much more


	3. Chapter 3

Levi**

I carried the now passed out light teenager out of the hell hole of a house and over to my car quickly. I put her in the back seat, laying her down. I buckled her the best I could and quickly got into the vehicle myself. I quickly got out my blue tooth and turned it on, I put it on my ear and called Erwin. I put the phone in the cup holder, put my seatbelt on and drive away as quickly as I could. Erwin answered on the second ring just like I thought he would.

 

Erwin: Hey, are you coming back here?

Levi: Yeah, get the extra bedroom room ready though. Quickly it’s an emergency. 

Erwin: What do you mean it’s an emergency?

Levi: Oliver’s mother is an abusive bitch. Oliver is the backseat passed out. Erwin get that damn bedroom finished, please

Erwin: Alright, on it. I will get Hanji to help. 

Levi: Thanks. I will be back in about ten minutes.

 

As the line went dead I snuck a look in the back seat. She had a ring of red, purple and dark blue forming around her neck now. God damn it, I can’t believe I didn't clue into this the day when she came to the college with all the bruises she supported on her small body. I looked forward once again and focused on the road. I didn’t need us getting into an accident. 

 

**

 

I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building to see Hanji waiting outside for me. I got out quickly and rushed to the back seat. I got Oliver out and Erwin helped me in by getting the doors and what not. I ordered Erwin to text that little blonde guy named Armin the address since he was bringing some of her stuff for her to the dorm. We made our way [ upstairs q ](http://cdn.home-designing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/four-bedroom-decor-ideas.jpeg) uickly and moved into the guest room and Hanji already had everything set up.

“Set her on the bed,” hanji ordered. I didn’t want to leave Olivers side because it made me afraid that she would wake up and freak out. I hesitated but sat her on the bed. Since the bed was large I sat on it beside her. There was no way in hell I was leaving her side, even if I had to take a piss, not happening…. Fuck why’d I have to bring up taking a piss… Now I have to piss. FOR FUCK SAKES. I quickly pushed the thought to the back of my head as she stirred. Hanji an out to get some pain meds, water and ice for the bruising. Oliver slowly opened her stunning stormy ocean [ eyes  ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c0/7a/bf/c07abf0f83235a21c65a6398f6c971af.jpg) and a look of panic crossed her face. She let out a scream and I flinch from seeing her so vulnerable.

“Oliver,” I cooed and rubbed her hand. I lightly pulled her into me and held as she started to struggle.

“Oliver, look at me,” I cooed once more and made her look at me.

“She’s not here. Oliver, you are with Erwin, Hanji and I. You with us at our dorm,” she visibly started to calm down and went limp in my arms breathing slowly. 

“W-Where is Armin, Where are the others,” she whispered her eyes going wide as she started to shake and her breathing picked up once more.

“Liv, they are fine. Their getting some of your stuff, your school, stuff, some clothing, your phone charger, laptop. You name it they are getting it. Liv your safe and they will be as well,” I cooed and rocked her slightly. She seemed to calm down at that which I was thankful for. I don’t like seeing her in so much pain. It reminds me of my parents. We stayed for a while, Hanji doing whatever she could to make sure Oliver was fine. She stayed with her when I finally decided that it would be good to go the washroom. I cleaned up while I was in there quickly and was out in under five minutes. Oliver and Hanji were talking about dance and vocals. Oliver seemed so relaxed with Hanji so I let them be, I walked out of the room and into the kitchen where Erwin was making something to eat for everyone. 

“Hey, that kid texted me, saying he was going to be here in the next five minutes. I’ll meet him down stairs. Do you want him to come in to see her or no…” he trailed off. You could tell he was just as worried about Oliver as Hanji and I were. He didn’t think it was best for Armin to come up to see them knowing he was coming with Oliver’s friends. 

“Oliver needs to see them, she nearly had a panic attack just thinking that they were hurt. I know it’s not the best until she calms down but with it going to the way it is she may need them to calm down,” I said. It’s going to be one hell of a night. Oliver’s phone then went off and Erwin looked at it.

“They're here. I’ll be back with them,” he said and left the kitchen. I heard the door close and I sighed. I walked over to the stove to finish whatever he was cooking. Soup. Just plain old Chicken noodle soup. Nice and simple, easy for Oliver to swallow, but still slightly more filling than having nothing. 

 

**

 

Erwin came up with Armin and four other people. Armin held a duffel bag, Erwin held a backpack that I’m guessing held her school stuff, and a girl with black hair and look that could kill held the final duffel bag. I walked up to them and nodded. 

“Thanks,” I mumbled out. 

“She’s in the guest room come on,” I managed out. I showed them to the room, knocked twice and opened the door. Her and Hanji were talking about art. Oliver had a little more colour to her pale features and now looked to be better than before when we left that hell hole that I won’t let her back to. 

“Armin’s here,” I said and held a quick smile before letting it drop from my face. Her face lit up slightly and she gave me a weak smile back. Armin walked in with the other four whose names I learned are Eren, Mikasa, Jean and Marco. Armin ran up to her, said a quick hello to Hanji and hugged Oliver to close him. She hugged him back and I couldn’t help but feel a weird feeling in my stomach. I must be hungry. I walked out to give Oliver some time with her friends.

 

**Oliver

 

“We brought you your school things, [sketchbooks,](http://g02.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1SqRsHVXXXXXUXVXXq6xXFXXXC/Vintage-color-cloth-cover-diary-book-set-blank-sheets-360-pages-14-5-19cm-sketchbook-notepad.jpg) [pencil kit](http://arte21online.es/WebRoot/Store3/Shops/7794db5a-58eb-40cc-85be-f600f01ffc92/53AA/A481/B733/0A79/DC62/0A48/350A/8EAD/K_8899.jpg), [drawing tablet,](https://i.stack.imgur.com/zqUhm.jpg) laptop, extra [clothing](http://www.polyvore.com/oliver_clear/set?id=215727437) and toiletries. How are you holding you up,” Armin whispered to me. Hanji excused herself from the room and my friends all came over to sit on the bed with him. I slowly moved to a better sitting position with the help of Jean. 

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner that it was that bad. You could have stayed with Eren and me,” Mikasa said in a voice of distress. I looked down a flood of guilt filling me quickly. I kept my head down and shrugged.

“I didn’t want to worry you guys,” I whispered as a single tear fell from my eyes and frowned. I looked up at him and frowned. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, more tears falling. 

“Don’t apologise you were afraid, it’s not your fault Liv. We are here for you. You're going to be staying here for a few days. You're nice and safe here. Erwin, Hanji and Levi seem to care a lot for you. Were you with Levi before. Why was he with you?” Armin questioned. My face went red and I looked over to the window. 

“I was walking around when Hanji saw me. She kind of didn’t give me a choice and dragged me into a studio where Erwin and Levi were dancing. They didn’t want me to leave and now I have a pass to go there whenever I need to. Levi’s the one who has been driving me to school and the hospital over the last week... They are going to help with my school work as well,” I whispered and a redness slowly started to fade.

“That’s good that they are here for you and are going to help you with your work,” Marco said in a soft voice. He’s such a sweetheart. Those three really are amazing for wanting to help someone as stupid as I am…

“Yeah I guess you're right. They are really sweet and nice. I-I don’t want to feel like a burden to them though,” I mumbled the last part and brought my knees up to my chest painfully. I set my head on top of my knees and stared blankly a head at the wall. 

“Hey now don’t lock us out,” Armin cooed out and rubbed my arm.

“Please,” when I didn’t answer Jean frowned.

“Oliver stop locking us out. We are here to fucking help you,” he blurted out and I flinched. His tone was loud and it frightened me. 

“Look, we will see you tomorrow or the next day Liv,” Armin cooed and stood up. I just stared at the wall shaking and remembering the things that happened awhile ago today. They all left beside Mikasa who told them to go ahead of her. She sat on the bed beside me and pulled me into her. I let it all go, all the tears, all the pain, all the suffering. IT all hurt so much In needed to let it out. What I needed was my bestest of best friends and my father here for me.

“I-I need my father, I need Annie to be alright. Why does this always happen? I need my mother to go away. I need my uncle to stop violating me,” I whimpered out. Mikasa seemed shocked that I just let it all go to her. Usually, when this kind of thing happens I talk to Annie and only Annie. I trust Mikasa enough to tell her everything. 

“What do you mean by violating you Oliver,” Mikasa said in a cautious voice. Shit, I said that….

“Hurting me,” I mumbled not giving full detail. I can’t give full detail or else my mother and uncle will find out and hurt me even more. I can’t have that.

“Liv….” Mikasa started then sighed. She seemed to not believe me but she didn’t push for any more information.

“I’m going to head out Liv. Please if you need anything call me. I will come get you when you're ready,” she gave me one last hug and walked out of the room. I just sat there with a blank look on face staring at the wall ahead of me not wanting to move.

 

**Mikasa

I walked out of the room with a sad look on my face. She is hiding something from us. I never thought that her uncle would do what I think is happening to her.

“Guys…. I think there is something much worse happening behind closed doors to Oliver… She mentioned something about her uncle… Something about violating her… She didn’t tell me anything, she shut herself out again,” I frowned showing little emotion. This isn’t good.

“Her uncle?” that short guy that was with Oliver beforehand spoke up. 

“Yeah her uncle. Alexander. We all thought he was so sweet towards her mother and her… but now that Oliver said her uncle was violating her… I fear the worse,” I mumbled looking down. Why do I feel like her uncle has been hurting her way more than her mother ever would. As we talked about different things that could have happened to Oliver, we heard a scream from the room she was in. The short one, who I found out was Levi was the first one to get to the room.

 

**Levi

 

I ran into the room where Oliver was screaming and shaking violently. It looks like she fell asleep and was now having a nightmare. I quickly went over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. I put my arms carefully around her and held stabilized her movements so she wouldn’t hurt herself more than her already was. She was sweating and her clothing was sticking to her. I didn’t wake her knowing that it would be worse if I were to try. 

“Hanji tell Erwin to get them out of here. They can come by tomorrow after their done school. She won’t be going. She can’t go in like this,” I said in a demanding tone. 

“Alright, I be back with a damp cloth in the meantime, you try and get her out of those. She is going to overheat,” Hanji said and rushed out of the room. She had stopped struggling so I wasn’t afraid of letting her go to get at least some layers off of her. She wears so many layers… I noticed that when we were at the college dancing. She wore long sleeves. RED LIGHT right there… Hanji ran back into the room muttering about how Oliver’s friends were all stubborn and that it took longer than necessary. She came over and helped me remove her shirt. Before you go and say that it’s a violation of privacy. Her health is more important than privacy. She is going to overheat from wearing long sleeves and sweating as much as she. Once the material was removed from her body and thrown to the side to be forgotten for a couple hours I looked at her body horrified and not in the perverted way. Lining her body were bruises of varying colours. Ranging from a light yellow to a dark purple. They are all over her upper half and by the looks of it it a lot of them are hand prints. Looking at her waist I notice what looks like handprints on them. They handprints look relatively new with some fading as well. They look so big on her her small body. Another red light right there… 

“Hanji…” I whispered not able to pry my eyes away from Oliver’s pale body that is housing all these nasty bruises. I trailed my eyes to her arms that were also coated in bruises and cuts right down to her wrists that were neatly bandaged. Red light… Bandaged wrists… oh god I hope she doesn’t do what I think she does. I let out a rare choked sob and Hanji frowned. Erwin came in at that moment and looked horrified at what he was seeing at this moment. 

“Levi, we need to tell the authority,” Erwin said in a stern voice. I know we have to but as far as we know she has nowhere else to go until her father is out of the coma. 

“Erwin we can’t until her father is awake. They may send her off somewhere,” I whispered.

“She will stay with us,” Erwin grunted out. I looked at Oliver’s small frail body and sighed. He was right. She needs to be out of that house. 

“Fine but once she wakes up I need to get pictures of all the bruises she has to plead her case in court,” I mumbled. Erwin nodded an agreement and turned on the fan that he brought in. Hanji put a dam cool cloth on Oliver’s forehead. I rubbed my hands in soothing circles over Oliver’s stomach to keep her calm. 

 

*

 

She finally woke up after another hour of her thrashing around and screaming. She awoke all sweaty and paler than before. She immediately noticed that she wasn’t wearing her long sleeved shirt. She started to panic again before I told her to calm down. Then she got angry because we didn’t get her permission to do so.

“What the fuck,” she practically screamed with tears threatening to fall down from her distant blue/green eyes. 

“You were over heating. We didn’t have much of a choice Oliver,” I said in a stern voice.

“Now I need you to tell me. Why are there hand prints on your hips that look like you were being held down? The way they face makes it look like you were held on still on your stomach. Why Oliver?” Erwin asked. Oliver’s body went rigid and her breathing picked up once more. She looked horrified and ready to get up and run.

“Oliver, please. We want to help you,” Hanji said.

“We can get you out of that place, you can stay here until your father wakes up, please let us help you,” Erwin pleaded. She was shaking even more and tears fell from her eyes.

“Please stop, I can handle this, please. I don’t want to be a burden,” she sobbed out and weaved her hands through her hair and pulling it tightly. It broke my heart when she said those words.

“Oliver, look at me and breath. Come on please, we want to help you,” I cooed to her and held her in a comforting grip.

“I don’t need your help,” she basically screamed and thrashed around. I stopped her from moving by tightening my arms around her torso and Hanji grabbed her hands and slowly detangled them from her hair.

“Look at me Oliver,” Hanji cooed. Slowly but surely Oliver calmed down and looked at Hanji.

“We can help you. We just need to take pictures of all your bruises. We know a good lawyer who can help, her name is Petra. I promise we can get you out of that intoxicating house until your father is well enough to take care of you again,” Hanji said and offered and small smile to Oliver who sat there secure in my arms.

“So will you let us help you?” I asked her. I held her close me and rocked her back and forward.

“A-Alright…” she hesitantly spoke and I gave her a tight hug.

“Thank you for letting us help you,” Hanji said and got out her phone. She started to type something out -probably texting Petra- and then looked at Oliver.

“Are you willing to let me take pictures of your bruising right now,” Hanji looked at Oliver while Oliver kind of flinched but nodded. 

“I’m proud of you Oliver,” Erwin said and smiled. At this, I helped Oliver sit up and stand up. She seems so tired and weak. How the hell have I never noticed this before? 

“Let's start with your arms,” Hanji stated and Oliver tensed up at the mention of them.

“Don't worry we'll keep them bandaged up. Your wrists that are,” I soothingly said to her. She slightly relaxed as Hanji snapped a bunch of pictures of torso and arms. 

“Alright. I know this sounds weird but I need you to take off your pants alright Oliver?” Hanji asked. Oliver looked so conflicted at that moment when she hesitantly undid her belt with shaky hands, then she undid the button on her jeans. She slid them off flinching as they rubbed over the bruises. Once they were off she tensed. Just as suspected there were full large adult sized hand prints on her hips, fresh ones at that. And her thighs were coated in scars, cuts, burns, bruises and so much more. The way she stood made it so that you could see the inside of her thighs. They were red and looked raw. That was the last thing I needed to piece together that her uncle was doing to her. He was doing an unthinkable act and for that he needs to be condemned. I looked at the others and frowned more when I noticed Hanji tearing up. 

“Oliver…. Your uncle…. Does he… How does he……. How does he hurt you?” Erwin said trying to word the question as delicately as he could. Oliver looked frightened by this question and shied away when I touched her.

“Liv… You're fine here. We won't judge you,” Hanji said and snapped pictures carefully so that they weren’t blurry.

“H-he…” Oliver choked back and sob and I lightly pulled her into me. Erwin set up a recorder so that we have her word. He let her know and she took a small breath in.

“He Well…. He rapes me,” she broke down sobbing and crying. My heart broke even more hearing it confirmed by her own voice. Hanji and Erwin let out a small sob and came over. They pulled the both of us -since I wasn’t letting go of her anytime soon- in a small group hug. This poor small fragile teenager has had so much happen to her in the past. I won't let her get hurt anymore. We stayed like that for the rest of the evening. No one wanted to let go and Oliver seemed to be glad about that.


	4. Chapter 4

Oliver**

It’s been three days since everything went down and I got help for what was going on… It’s helped a lot. I’m staying with Levi, Hanji and Erwin. They have been very helpful and caring. I have to get remove my mother from my files. Petra is really nice. I met her the day after everything happened. She has been very helpful. My mother was arrested the day Petra got involved. My uncle however is in hiding. They haven’t found him which it very scary since he is a huge threat. I witnessed Levi having a panic attack for the first time when the cops said they couldn’t find my uncle. It was scary since I never want to see him that way. It hurts seeing him like that. I’ve developed a crush on Levi. I have my trail for my mother this Saturday... According to the doctors at the hospital my father and Annie are doing a lot better and should be awake within the next week or so. I can’t wait to see their eyes open and smiling. I go and see them everyday. I met Levi’s grandmother, she is so sweet. [ I  ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=219946918) have to return to school today… I’m not looking forward to that… 

 

**

 

“Oliver come on,” Levi pleaded. I was in the bathroom connected to the room I was staying in. I didn’t want to leave… I don’t want to deal with the people at school or anywhere at the moment. I just want to be left alone.

“You have to go in. You know this. Petra will be with you to take you mother off of your contact list and Petra will be put on it. Come on please. You're going to be late,” Levi said and sighed. Great he is disappointed in me… I’m such an idiot… Why am I so fucked up. 

“Fine,” I mumbled and walked out. I don’t want to disappoint him anymore than I already have…

“Good. Now come on Petra is waiting downstairs. You’ll only be there for a couple hours to fill everything out and get it all transferred. Then you can come back here or go to the hospital,” Levi said and offered me a hug. I gave him the hug and sighed. Why am I so stupid. 

“I can read it on your face. Stop calling yourself stupid,” Levi said and guided me out of the room. Hanji passed me my backpack and smiled softly. Not only do I have stuff to fill out but I have things to hand in to my teachers. All those assignments I never did are now done… These past few days they have all helped me get it all done. Now my bag is like 10 pounds of folders with paper work in them as well as my laptop with notes on them. This is why I want to major in art and not something else. So much paper work for everything else. 

“Thank you Hanji,” I said and smiled a little back. I still don’t talk that much of anything, it’s not something I’m comfortable with still. I talk more with Hanji, Levi and Erwin than I do with my own friends. I feel bad about it but for some reason I just feel like I can’t talk around them. They know all about what was happening with my uncle. Erwin told them so I didn’t have to.

“Come on, let’s head out. I’m going to drive you in but Petra will bring you back or to the hospital. Text me where you're going after and I will come get you,” Levi said as we exited the apartment. Once we were outside realisation his fast and I could feel my lungs get tighter as Levi greeted Petra nad got into his car. I got in as well and tried to focus on my breathing. I have to go back to school and get questioned like crazy and deal with all the people who want me dead. I can’t handle that, not right now. 

**

 

We pulled up into the parking lot of the school and I my tightened even more as I spot the group of people who are always trying to terrorize my friends and I.

“Hey, Liv, look at me. Are you alright?” Levi said and turned me so that I was no longer looking at the group of people. 

“No. I’m not… I need to leave. I can’t do this. They are right there Levi, right fucking there,” I managed to get out before going into a breathing fit. 

“You can do this. Oliver, I know you can do this. You're strong, you just need to find that strength. Remember you’ll be with Petra,” he said in a soothing voice. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. I did so for about five minutes before feeling ready enough to get out of the car. 

“Good luck Liv, remember to text me,” Levi said and gave my hand a little squeeze. I smiled softly at him and open the door to the vehicle. I grabbed my bag that he held up and said a small thank you to him. Levi stayed there until Petra started to walk over to me. 

“Bye Oliver,” he called out as he pulled away from the curb. I waved to him as he drove away.I turned towards the school only to wish I never left the car. The group of bullies were walking my way. I tensed up and gripped my backpack as hard as I could. Fuck why me? Why does this always happen to me?

“Oh lookie here, it’s the emo girl who hasn’t shown up for the last three days. What a loser,” the queen bitch said smiling wider now. They got closer to me and the shortest on raised her hand to slap me. I closed my eyes and waited for the contact to be made… but it never came. I opened my eyes to see Petra standing partially in front of me with her arm extended to stop the slap from coming. She wasn’t holding the girl’s hand or anything but she still stopped it.

“I would advise you not touch my client as she is having a rough time. She will sue you if she pleases and I will /make sure/ that the case makes it through,” Petra said in low dangerous voice. Sweet Petra… I never knew she could be like this. Then again she is lawyer…

“Yeah says who, my dad is a lawyer” the tallest said and put her hands on her hips.

“I am well aware of that miss. Abernathy. I work with your father,” Petra said smirking. 

“You should get to class Bell,” Petra then said in a taunting voice. Bell…. That’s the tallest girls name… Well now I know. The three of them scurried off and I looked down.

“They are the ones that are always bothering you?” she asked me.

“Y-Yeah. Thanks for that,” I mumbled and started to scratch my hand to keep at least semi calm. Petra noticed and took my hand.

“You're going to leave a mark. Now come on. Let’s get this done and over with,” she offered a small smile in which I returned. We walked into the school and I kept my face down until we got to the head masters office. Once inside his office I sat in one of the chairs with my backpack beside me.

“Good to have you back Miss. Clear. I have been told about what is going on and I’m very sorry about what has been happening. This is Petra I presume?” he asked and I said yes with a little nod.

“Hello Petra nice to meet you. Thank you very much for caring for one of our own,” he said and shook Petra’s hand firmly.

“Hi, nice to meet you. I apologise for having her out of classes for so long but your young students, Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Jean and Marco have been a big help. They deserve a reward or something,” Petra said with a charming smile. I guess this is why she became a lawyer. She has a way with words. 

“No worries. They are all really good students. Oliver and her friends have been through a lot within the last year or so. Things started going down after Oliver’s brother passed,” he said and I flinched. No please don’t bring up Jude… Please. His death was my fault….

“Ah yes. I heard about that tragedy. Well back to the point of this meeting. We are here to take Oliver’s mother and her uncle off of her contact list. They are both threats and her uncle is still in hiding. If you see him do call the police right away and then notify me,” she said.

 

**

 

The process was short and easy. Petra signed for everything on behalf of my father and we were out of there.

“Alright so let’s go to each of your class and hand in your work and get you new work. You won’t be in until next week since the court date is this sunday for your mother,” she confirmed and I started to walk towards my English class where Armin was. I haven’t seen Armin in two days… I miss him and my friends… They probably don’t miss me though… No can ever miss me… Once I was at the door. I took a small breath in and knocked on the door. A second later it opened to relieve the teacher standing there. 

“Oliver just a moment,” he turned to the class and excused himself, “I thought you weren’t returning until Monday next week.”

“I have work for you,” I simply said and looked at him. He looked a little shocked and nodded. He told me to come into the class so I could give it to him. I tried to protest so no one would stare at me but I failed. I walked over to his desk with my head down and Petra following me. I put my bag on the closest empty desk and opened it. I quickly got the big file of work and passed it to him. 

“It’s all my outstanding assignments from the beginning of the term till last week. I’m not done this weeks yet,” I said in low voice. 

“Liv!” I heard Armin say and stand up.

“Mr. Arlert what do you think are doing. I get that you haven’t seen Miss. Clear in a while but you do not need to interrupt the class, pack your things and you can go with her. I will get the headmaster to dismiss the rest of your hollagin friends so that this doesn’t happen again,” The teacher said. I looked down again and frowned as he took my work and set it on the desk before going and asking the headmaster to dismiss everyone. I got Armin in trouble like the idiot I am. We were excused and as soon as we were out of the class Armin threw his arms around me.

“My god Liv I haven’t seen you in a while. How is everything?” he asked while still having his arms wrapped around me. 

“Decent. Better but not perfect,” I mumbled out.

“At least that’s a start Oliver,” he said and I was tackled by four other people. I let out a little noise.

“I was so worried about you Oliver,” Mikasa said and hugged me tightly. I flinched at her grip and gave her a small smile. 

“I’m fine though Mika,” I whispered. They all pulled away and smiled at me.

“Come on Oliver, we have to hand everything else in,” Petra said and I nodded. Marco smiled softly and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Good job getting everything done Liv,” he said softly and smiled peacefully. I smiled up at him and started to walk towards the geography class to hand everything in.

 

**

 

We went through every class that we had to hit and the last one that we had to go to was my dance class… I was afraid to into it because I had nothing to go into to show. We walked into the doors and there stood Taemin and Minzy standing over by the stereo waiting for the class to start. I cleared my voice and they both looked over. 

“Oliver!” Minzy said and walked over to us. Taemin followed in pursuit. They both pulled me into a small hug and smiled.

“Oliver how are you doing? Don’t lie.” Taemin asked. I frowned and looked down at the ground.

“Come talk to me,” he said and guided me over to the stereo to talk.

“Talk Oliver. I know it’s been rough. You used to be able to talk to me. Liv please I can help you,” he said.

“It’s hard. Everything is hard. It hurts. Everything hurts. It’s been three or days since I have felt the physical pain that I deserve. It all hurts so much,” I whispered out and felt the hot tears fall down my face. He pulled me into a hug and placed his hand on my head.

“Oliver you don’t need to rely on that stuff. Oliver you dance. Your a dancer so  use it to your upper hand. You can do it. Dance for us. Free style I have one of your old dance outfits here. Use it to your advantage. Come on Oliver. Find something else to focus on instead of the pain,” he said, pulled away and passed me a set of pink jogging pants, a white and black long sleeved shoulders and nude polka dotted socks. I stared down at them and my eyes went wide. I haven’t worn these in a year. Pastel colours and things that made me feel nice.

“Just put them on. I’ll put on some music. There’s your dance for the week,” he smield out and set me on my way to change room. I was hesitant to go but I did anyway. I need to get out of this low. I need to find something else to release my emotions and not rely on the blade of lighter to do it. I walked back into the room a few minutes later not ready to do anything. No one was in the room besides Taemin, Minzy and Petra. We talked about the song that I was going to do and they told me. I nodded and told them that I needed a chair. Once they got that I got into place.

“The others went to change as well, come on let’s start right away,” Minzy said. Once I ready I said the go and [ got started. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5Oyh0BZ4ds)

**

By the time I finished everyone was in class. I never realised it I was to engrossed in my dance. 

“Very good Oliver. That was beautiful dance. We never really get to see that style from you anymore,” Minzy said and patted me on the head.

“That was amazing,” Taemin and did the same. There were claps throughout the room and I blushed brightly. They are probably just lying don’t flatter yourself Oliver. Just then my phone went off which was odd since I had it on silence unless it was the hospital of the police calling me. I ran over to my bag and quickly got it out. I looked at the screen and my eyes widen.

 

Me: Hello

???: Hi this is the hospital calling. Is Miss. Oliver Clear around?

Me: This is she. Dr. Adams is everything okay?

Dr. Adams: Oh good. I have great news for you. Your Father woke up yesterday night. We were going to call you then but we know how hard it is for you right now and he was in critical condition and your friend Annie. She woke up an hour ago asking about you. Oliver your father and best friend are alright. 

Me: Wait….. Are you serious?... Are they really… is it…

Dr. Adams: Come down now. If you can come down. They keep asking for you sweetie,

Me: I’m coming now.

Dr. Adams: I will be waiting for you.

Me: Thank you for much Dr. Adams

 

The line went dead and my eyes went teary. I let them fall and Mikasa was the first by my side.

“You said the Doctors name… What is going on Oliver,” she asked and wrapped her arms around me.

“They are awake. Mikasa Annie and my father are awake. Oh god I need to go. I need to go now,” I said and scrambled to get up. I packed my things quickly and looked over at Petra who was waiting by the door already for me to go. She was on the phone. I sped walked over to her to her as she hung up the phone.

“I called Levi. He is on his way to the hospital. Come on Oliver,” She guided me out of the room and said bye to everyone before running to car. I threw my now light backpack in the backseat and put my seatbelt on. Petra quickly got her seatbelt on and started the car.

***

 

We were at the hospital quickly. I got out to see Levi waiting there with Hanji and Erwin. I ran over to them and wrapped my arms around Levi.

“They are awake Levi. Oh my god they are awake,” I squealed and cried out. The tears kept falling down my face as he held me there for a moment before I pulled back and smailed a genuine smile for them all.

“Well let’s go then silly,” Hanji said and I ran to the doors of the hospital. They were close behind me. I opened the door and just as she promised Dr. Adams was standing there with a big smiled on. I have never been so happy to see her with her clip board, scrubs and white lab coat.

“Good. You’re here Oliver. Come, come now,” she said and we walked off towards the familiar room that they both stayed in. Once we were, she stopped me just before we went in.

“They are a miracle case. They remember everything that happened to them. Normally people would forget after being out for so long,” she said and opened the door.

“Mr. Clear, Miss. Leonhart. Someone is here to see you,” Dr. Adams said and let me through. Let me tell you, this is the happiest I have been in a year. 

“Oliver my baby girl,” my father said. I ran over and him. He was hooked up to a few different things so I had to be careful. More tears fell down my face as he held me close to him. I felt his body heat and his arms wrapped around me tightly.

“My baby girl. They filled me in… they told me you have a case this weekend. Sweet heart I’m so sorry I left you with that monster,” he had tears coming from his eyes. I could feel them on my shoulder.

“I deserved it all though daddy,” I mumbled.

“No sweetheart. You were not the cause of the accident,”

“Daddy even before you were in the hospital… Uncle and mom… they gained up on me a lot,” I confessed to him. 

“Alexander… what did he do to you?” my father asked. I looked over at Annie who had tears on her face.

“H-He…” I just looked down… I couldn’t bring myself to say it. It still hurts to think about it and physically my body hasn’t healed yet…

“He raped her sir,” I heard the familiar voice of Levi Ackerman say as he stepped forward. I pulled back from my father and looked down more tears falling. My father’s facial expression changed from sad to finally angry. 

“He what. Why did you ever say something?” he said keeping his voice calm.

“I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do. He threatened to kill everyone I love daddy I was so afraid,” I cried out. I never realised that Annie had gotten out of her bed carefully and came over to me until I felt her arms around. I sobbed out and wrapped my arms around her.

“God I missed you both so much. Never leave again please,” I let all my walls down once more for the world to see as I became a shaking sobbing mess being held up by Levi from behind and Annie from the front.

 

***

 

After catching up with the two I realised that Levi, Hanji and Erwin had left the room.

“Where did..?” I asked myself.

“Those three you were with? They went to get coffee while you and Annie talked,” my father said and smile softly. Just as he said that Levi, Erwin and Hanji walked in with Coffee and snacks.

“Oh there you all are,” I said and smiled once more.

“So I never really introduced you all to Annie and my daddy…. Levi, Erwin, Hanji this is my father and best friend Annie. Annie, daddy, these are the people I’m staying with. Erwin is the tall blonde, Hanji is the one with brown hair and Levi is the one with the under cut style and black hair. Levi is one that got me out the house… He is the one that saved me from the hell,” I smiled softly at Levi who had a tinted face… Not something I’m used to seeing and that caused me to start to blush.

“Thank you for looking after my baby girl. I can’t even think of a way to repay you. If you want anything just let me know,” my father said looking between the three of them.

“No no it’s fine. We got her out that toxic place because she is a friend of our that we care about. We don’t need anything in return but for you to get better,” Hanji said and smiled at my father.

“Thank you so much,” Annie said. Then realization hit her hard by the looks of it.

“Mikasa… Oh my god how is Mikasa. Where is she,” she asked, looking me. I smiled.

“Mikasa will be here after school. She wasn’t able to leave. Everyone will be here. Annie  we are all so excited to see you and daddy awake and alright. You have so much to catch up on but I can help you. My grades are getting better. Levi, Hanji and Erwin have been helping me. Annie I can’t wait to have you back in our lives,” I wrapped my arms around her again and held her close to me. I’m afraid that I’m going to lose her again.

“I can’t wait to be back. It’ll take a while… I know that… I can’t wait to dance again. I can’t wait to get school work done. I can’t wait to graduate with everyone. I’m so happy for you, I can’t wait to see Mika,” she nuzzled her head into my neck and I smiled. I missed her hugs. I missed her being close to me. I missed my father being around to make me smile when I’m having a rough time.

“I’m happy that something is finally working for the good for you liv,” Erwin said and stepped forward. He placed his large captain America like hand on my shoulder and I smiled up at him.

“Thank you all for your help in getting me back on my feet,” I said and smiled once more. 

“I hope this isn’t to much to ask but with her uncle still in hiding… I don’t feel very safe to have her at the house alone… Would she be able to stay with you guys for a little while longer while I recuperate and look for another apartment for us. If it’s too much to ask for I can set something up for her somewhere else,” My father asked looked at Erwin and Erwin smiled at him.

“We wouldn’t have it any other way Mr. Clear. We can help you look for an apartment if you need some help. We don’t mind at all,” Hanji answered and smiled.

“Perfect. Thank you so much for caring for her while I’ve been in the hospital,” my father thanked them once more.

“Would it be alright to speak to Mr. Clear,” Petra stepped forward and asked. Oh yeah Petra…

“That would be lovely. Liv, you go with those three and Annie to eat something,” my father said. I went to protest but Annie quickly stood up and dragged me out of the room.

“What the hell Annie,” I said.

“Come on I missed sitting and eating with you,” she said with a smile on her face.

“I’m not hungry,” I simply stated and stopped. I put my hands on my waist and glared at her. I didn’t realise that Levi had come up behind me and sighed until I heard him speak. I jumped.

“You’re eating Oliver. You didn’t eat this morning and you didn’t eat last night,” he said. I turned and glared at him.

“Please Liv,” Annie said in a saddened tone of voice.

“F-Fine… Mika and the others should be here soon anyway…” I said and looked down. I’ve already made her upset… I’m so stupid. I’ve already fucked up… Why am I such a fuck up?

 

***

 

We were now sitting in the cafeteria. I was sitting beside Levi and Annie. We were waiting for Mikasa, Armin, Marco, Jean and Eren to come over. They all got out early so they could come see my father and Annie.

“Oh right!!! Oliver. I have never seen you in such light colours before. You look really nice in them,” Hanji said, smiling.

“Believe it or not she used to wear pastels all the time before her brother passed away… She really loved and she looked so nice in them. Her brother always got her things like that,” Annie said before I could say anything. 

“Really!!! You should wear them more often then~,” Hanji cooed to me. I looked at Annie and glared at her. She knows I don’t wear pastels anymore… Why the hell did she bring it up.

“Actually truth be told… I think she still have a bunch of clothing, shoes and accessories from when she used to dress like that. I think they are in the attic or something,” she continued. I glared harder as she smirked at me.

“I’d love to see you wear them more often Oliver,” I heard Levi say. I looked at him shocked to see him with a small smile on his face while looking at me. I felt my cheeks heat up as I look down. 

“Awe look little Ollie is blushing,” Hanji squealed out and poked my cheeks. 

“Hanji stop. You’re going to make her face even more red,” Levi said and slapped their hands away. Just as she was about say something we heard the oh so familiar voice of our friends running up and yelling Annie’s name. 

“Oh god Annie I missed you,” Mikasa said and held Annie close to her. I smiled and watched from afar. 

“Hey You need some rest… How about we go tell the others that we will head out. I got a text from Petra. I told her that I would bring you back. Let’s go say goodbye to your father and head out,” Levi said and put a hand on my shoulder. I nodded even though I didn’t want to leave. I walked over to the group and smiled when Armin pulled me into a hug. 

“I’m going to head out now. It’s kind of dangerous for me to be here since my uncle is still in hiding,” I said and hugged Annie close to me. 

“Alright. Be safe and no funny business with Levi,” Annie teased. I glared at her and gave everyone else a hug as well. I said bye and walked over to Levi. We went upstairs and bid farewell to my father. Once that was done we were out of the hospital and in Levi’s car on the way to my house to pick some stuff up.


	5. Chapter 5

Oliver**

 

Once we were back at my house I went to my room and  [ changed ](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=221114381) . I then started to put things in a suitcase with the help from Levi and Hanji while Erwin checked all the rooms in the house just in case. 

“I think it would be smart of you to just bring as much as you can and move in with us for now,” Hanji said. I looked at them a shocked and started to shake my head. 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just stay with you guys until my father and Annie are out of the hospital,” I mumbled and looked down.

“It’s not safe Liv,” Levi said and got out another suitcase. 

“I’ll have Petra tell your father. I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ll get Erwin,” Hanji said and took out her phone. I sighed and kept my head down.

“Think of this way. More musicals, more anime, more movie nights Liv. Plus I like having you around. It makes the dorm a lot more lively having someone else around,” Levi said and pulled me into a hug. I nodded and hugged him back before going and packing some more stuff. A few minutes after packing more of my stuff Hanji ran into the room.

“Levi hide Oliver. Her uncle is trying to get into the house,” Hanji said in a hurried voice. 

“What the hell,” Levi cursed and grabbed my hand. I was paralysed… How did he know we were going to be here? Has he been watching me? I felt my heartbeat pick up and my lungs go tight. My breathing got faster and shallow while I felt a cold sweat break out all over my body. 

“Get --- --------- safe. He --- - ---. Erwin has ------ the ---- and Petra. He’s -- the front --or making ---- he ------- get in. I’m going to cover the back door. Levi gets her to the ----- or the basement -- something,” I faintly heard Hanji said, I couldn’t make out what she said before and I don’t think I want to know… I heard Levi agree and start to pull me towards the door. Everything sounded so far away. I felt Levi stop causing me to bump into him. I watched as he turned towards me and put both hands on my shoulders. 

“Oliver look at me. Please listen to me. We have to get you somewhere safe. Fuck… Liv doesn't shut your body down. He has a gun. Oliver, you need to tell me where the basement is. Please, Oliver, please,” he shook me slightly and I snapped out of it. My uncle has a gun…. He’s going to kill me. My uncle is here to kill me and there is a possibility that Levi, Hanji and Erwin could get hurt.

“D-Door by the kitchen. I-It leads to the basement. From the basement, we can go to the room that my father showed me to go to whenever he and my mother fought or when someone brakes into the house. There is a way out from there but I don’t know how secure it is. Levi. Hanji and Erwin need to come with us. I don’t want them to get hurt. M-My uncle…. He is dangerous. Please, Levi. I’m so afraid. I can’t lose them and me sure as hell can’t lose you. Please Levi,” I panicked and gripped onto his t-shirt. He pulled me into a tight hug and pulled me down the stairs. He called for Hanji and Erwin who ran to the stairs as well. We all made our way to the basement. The whole time I heard my uncle shouting profanities and slurs of things that I couldn’t understand from the front door. Once we were in the basement I ran over to the carpet and lifted it. I opened the little hatch and climbed inside. I was followed by Levi, Hanji, and finally, Erwin who flipped the carpet down with the hatch. I finally let the tears fall from my eyes and collapsed to the floor. Levi was down on the ground with my quickly trying to keep and he held me. He let me cry and it only got worse when I heard gunshots. Levi held me closer and Hanji frowned. Hanji pulled out their phone and called someone.

“Hey, Armin. I know said to meet us here to help us pack Liv’s stuff…. But… No… um… her uncle… yeah… he’s outside with a gun…. We are safe… In a hidden room… Yeah… Cops are on the way… I will Armin. Oh, my little honey bunny coconut she’s fine. I’ll call you later. I promise. I have to go now,” Hanji hung up and I gave her a weird look. Erwin and Levi followed. Erwin was about to say something when all of a sudden heard we heard steps in the house. Not in the basement but in on the main floor.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” I mumbled quietly.

“Liv. Look at Levi. Focus on him Oliver,” Erwin said. I looked at Levi and focus on him. He kept his eyes locked on mine and soon enough I wasn’t focusing on anything around me, just him. 

“I’ve got you Liv,” he whispered. I nodded slightly and started to focus in on my breathing. 

**

I don’t know how long it lasted but after that last moment, everything was a blur. I remember hearing yelling but not much of it… I remember being pulled to my feet and then out of the room. Now I was sitting in the police station with Levi on my right and Hanji on the left. They got shot my uncle down apparently. I don’t remember that but Levi told me once we got here. It seems so distant. My uncle isn’t dead, nor is he on the run anymore. Right now he is being treated. We get to leave soon once they no I’m not in any more danger. Petra was here talking to the officer with Erwin.

“Oliver, you can leave now. Please call if you need anything,” the officer that was talking to Petra and Erwin said. I nodded and shakily stood up.

“Levi, let’s bring her to our place. We can go pack up her stuff,” Erwin said. I shook my head.

“No. I want to go pack it. You guys don’t know everything around my room,” I whispered. Erwin sighed but didn’t argue with me. I am very thankful for that.

“Armin and the others are at the house getting you stuff packed. We can go see them. Annie will be out in a couple of days. I’ve been helping your father find a house or apartment. Annie said she’d move in with you guys. We should head out now,” Petra said. I didn’t exactly listen to it or register what she said. I just know that she said it. We walked out of the police station and over to Levi’s car.

 

**

We were back at my place now. Armin was out front with Mikasa. Once I got out of the car Armin ran up to me with tears in his eyes and hugged me close to him.

“Oh god Liv I was so worried about you,” he whispered. I didn’t say anything back. I just hugged him. I kept him close to me. I need my friends. I need to leave this place. I can’t handle it but I need my friends with me. We went inside and I got more hugs from everyone. I walked up to my room and slowly started to pack some of my things in a couple of suitcases. I was numb by now and wasn’t responding to anyone. I was on autopilot and the only one who seemed to understand that was Levi. He had everyone leave me alone and stop asking and for that I’m thankful.

 

Levi**

 

Oliver was now on autopilot. No one seemed to understand that so I yelled at everyone to leave alone and explained why. They finally listened and left the room so that it was just Oliver and I. I helped her pack as much as we could into those suitcases. It wasn’t everything but it as much as we could get into them. We got most of her clothing, all of her art stuff, her dance stuff and some other things as well. I brought the suitcases downstairs with Erwin’s help and went back up to see her staring down a little  [ dark brown wooden box. ](http://img.edilportale.com/products/prodotti-52463-reld3992292-8169-8bcd-4bb5-7d8c94b6963e.jpg) She had it open. I stood there quietly as she reached her hand in into the box and pulled out a small blade. I watched her face twist in pain and put the blade back and closed the box. She put into her top draw and then pulled out a lighter. The ones that you use for cigarettes, it was one of the mini ones. Her face twisted again and she dropped it back into the draw. I made my way over to her and wrapped my arms around her. My best guess was that those were the things that she used to inflict pain on herself. 

“I’m proud of you Oliver. You looked at them and while you could have just put them on your arm or anywhere else you didn’t. I’m so proud of you,” I held her close as she let herself break down in my arms. I walked us over to the bed and sat down on it with her in my lap. She curled herself into my chest as I lied down, she could use the rest. She’s so small and fragile, I would never that to her face since I know what it’s like to be called small, I get pissed. 

“Liv, I want to take you out alright?” I asked her. She looked up at me shocked at the sudden things that I said. God, what did I just do? Oh, I know. I took Hanji’s advice and asked her out. I figured out that I’ve liked her for a while now, so I went to Hanji and Erwin about it. Hanji said to go for so that’s what I’m doing now.

“A-Are you sure you want to go out with someone as stupid as me,” she whimpered out. I gave her a small squeeze and nodded.

“Yeah, I want to take you to a dance off like thing that usually happens on the weekend. You’re not stupid Oliver. Stop saying that about yourself. There is one coming up, I’m taking part in it and I want you to be my plus one. It’s a bunch of college students. I-I mean if you don’t want to it’s fine,” I mumbled the last part and looked to the side.

“I-I’d love to go with you. U-um what would I wear and when is it,” She whispered and hide her face in the crook of my neck. I smiled and told her when it was. She nodded before yawning.

“Get some sleep. I’ll be right here. Don’t worry. If they come up here I will tell them what to get and what not to touch alright. I won’t let them into the top drawer of your bedside table,” I cooed to her and smiled. God, what the hell is going on with me. I’ve gone soft since being around her. Fucking hell… Soon enough I could hear her soft breaths begin to shallow and I knew she was out. She was still curled into me so I wasn’t moving anywhere… Not that I would want to though, I’m quite comfortable. 

 

***

We stayed for that for about ten minutes before Mikasa walked into the room. She glared at me and I glared back.

“What the hell are you doing?” she growled.

“Sleeping now shut up before you wake her. She has insomnia so sleep doesn’t come easily dipshit,” I growled back and held her close.

“Yeah, I know. She’s a close friend of mine and I fucking swear if you hurt her, I’ll hurt you,” she growled back and walked out of the room. I rolled my eyes and closed them taking a soft breath in. I swear people make me so fucking angry. I then let myself drift off into a comfortable sleep while I help Oliver close to my body.

 

***

I woke up about two hours later I’m guessing. I woke up to the sound of pictures being taken and talking.

“I swear they are so cute together. It’s a been awhile since I’ve seen Oliver like this,” I’m guessing it was the tall freckled one; Marco to say that.

“Levi hasn’t been the same either. Hell, He has never acted like this. As for showing any happiness at all… It’s been scarce since his grandmother was in the hospital,” it was definitely Hanji who said this. I sighed and opened my eyes. 

“Really people,” I grumbled out. They both gave a small laugh and scurried out of the room. I looked down at Oliver to see her sleeping peacefully. This is in the most peaceful I have seen her since meeting her… It made me happy knowing that she was sleeping nicely.

“Hey Levi, they told me you were awake. Wake up Oliver and come down. We have pizza and pop waiting for you guys. It just showed up,” Erwin said peeking his head around the corner of the door.

“Alright, thanks,” I said and shook Oliver a bit. She woke up quickly with a startled look in her eyes.

‘It’s alright. They have food downstairs. Come eat Liv,” I said. She nodded, clearly not fully aware of what was going on. She stumbled as she stood up and ended up nearly falling so I caught her.

“How about I just carry you down,” I smirked.

“N-No I’m alright,” she blushed and made her way to the door. I let out a low chuckled and followed after her. Damn was she ever cute. Once we were downstairs and sitting I got her a slice of plain cheese pizza.

“Eat it. You didn’t eat a whole lot today at all,” I said. She sighed and took a bite of the pizza before it got any colder.

 

***

**Oliver

After eating we left the house and went over to the dorm. At least I’m out of the house and my uncle is behind bars. Now just to wait for Saturday to come… It’s two days away… I have my trial for both of them now, at first it was just my mother since my uncle wasn’t caught yet but now since he is caught, his trial will also take place. Levi held my hand the entire time that we were in the car and when we got back he instructed me to go change into comfortable clothing and then brought me to the couch where all four of us just sat there and watched some movies. It was relaxing and that’s how I fell asleep. Levi had his arms wrapped securely around me and I was snuggled into his chest.

*

That’s how I woke up as well but this time there was a blanket on us and Levi was awake watching the television. I glanced at the clock that hung on the wall and my eyes went wide.

“L-Levi…. Classes,” I said and went to get up but he held me down.

“I got classes off today so that I could spend it with you. We are going to go get you some stuff in the next city over,” he said not looking away from the television. 

“You didn’t get in trouble?” I asked and prayed that he wouldn’t lie to me.

“Nope. Also, Grandma wants to see you again. She hasn’t seen you in awhile,” he said and let me go.

“Go change Liv, I get Hanji and Erwin up, there is also something on your bed from Armin” as he said that I got up and went over to the room where I was staying. Something from Armin? I wonder what he means by that… All my things were there and put away, all except for two small envelopes that sat on my bed with a box by it. I walked over to the duo on my bed and once I looked at the box my eyes went wide… It had Jude’s writing on it… My brother... My dead twin brother’s name is in that box that is addressed to me…

 

To: Oliver Clear

From: Jude Clear

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, I don’t think I can do this… My brother… What did he do… I opened the letter that was addressed to me.

 

Dear, Oliver,

This is very last minute sis. Haha… I’m sorry it had to be this way. I wrote this with my last ounce of strength… Can you believe it, I always thought since you were the reckless one you would die first, yet here I am in this hospital bed while Annie forces you to go get cleaned up. If you're reading this now though… It’s been a year and you have found someone to start to live for again. I made Armin promise me that he would give you this box and letter once he thought you were ready and had someone to live for and impress. God, I love you so much, Oliver. Whatever mother has said to you in the last year or so, never believe it. It’s not your fault. It was a drunk drivers fault. I know that you told everyone you weren’t going to wear the clothing you have always loved since I wasn’t around to see it anymore. I loved it when you wore pastels, you looked so tiny and cute. I know we are twins and we are the same age but I came out first so I get to tease you about being small and tiny. Even if we are basically the same height. You were always much happier when you wore Pastels. I wanted to give you this outfit on our birthday but clearly, that won't happen. In a year though I have a feeling that you will still be tiny enough to fit into this. Oliver, wear it when you go out with that special person alright. Let them see the Oliver I always love to see. Let them be your happiness. I will always look after you, even in heaven. Sis, I love you… I love you a lot. As much as you miss me, always know that I love you so much. Remember how I wanted to get a tattoo with you. You know that set of wings, the black and white ones. The wings of freedom. I wanted to get the white side and you wanted the black side. How about you get the whole thing Liv. Get it for me when you are ready. I love you

 

Jude Clear.

P.S This other envelope that was with it. Give it to the person that holds your heart and soul.

 

I wiped the tears from my eyes, but they just kept on falling. Fuck why did he have to leave me… I love you, Jude, I really, really love you. I looked at the box and opened it. I was shocked to see an  [ outfit ](https://www.polyvore.com/oliver_clear_pastel_days/set?id=215114165) I had once seen in a catalog that was all pastel fashion that I really liked. I wanted it but didn’t think that I would look good in it. I guess Jude seen me circle it and rip the page out to hang it on my board of pastel fashion. I looked at the other envelope and my mind wandered. The person who has my heart and soul… Could he mean the person I like and decide to spend forever with… I don’t know… Right now Levi is the person I want to be with the most. More than I have ever wanted to be with someone… I sat there for a good fifteen minutes before deciding to give the letter to Levi to read. He knows that I like him… I haven’t exactly hidden the fact… I got up and walked out of the room and over to Levi’s door since he wasn’t on the couch. I took a breath in and knocked on the door. He opened it a second later and looked at me confused. My eyes were red and puffy still from crying but I felt a bit of closure from the letter. Jude himself wanted me to not blame myself for this so for him I won't. 

“Oliver why are you crying?” he pulled me into a soft hug and I hugged him back finding more comfort in his arms than before. 

“Jude… My brother… he left my something and told me to give this letter to the person who holds my heart and soul… The only person I can say that about is… well, it’s you,” I whispered and buried my head into his neck. He held me there and gave me a little squeeze.

“You really feel that way, Oliver. You know you don’t have to give me the letter right,” he said and wiped the tears from my face.

“I want to. Please, Levi… Your the only person who makes me feel the way I do about you. You don’t have to. I mean, I’m a bit of a brat and not worth being around,” I looked at the ground a feeling of rejection growing in the pit of my stomach. He wrapped his arms around me once more and held me there. My eyes went wide.

“Oliver. You are a bit of a brat, but your my brat and you ARE worth being around Liv. I like you a lot and I want to be there for you. You know that once we start dating I’m not leaving you no matter what,” he cooed to me and face lit up like a Christmas tree. 

“Liv, would like to be my girlfriend?” he asked softly to me. 

“I.. Yes I would,” I said in a soft tone back to him and he pulled away. He gave me a small smile and I returned it. 

“I’m glad. Now go get ready, I’ll read the letter and see what it has to say alright?” he said and ruffled my already messy hair. I nodded and handed him the letter before walking off to my room and sitting on my bed. I sat there for five minutes before going and showering.

 

*Levi

 

Once Oliver left to go get ready I closed my door and sat on my bed. Did I really just ask her out like that? God this is so stupid, I should have done something else… I looked at the envelope and smiled a bit. She wanted me to read it. Me of all people to read this letter from her brother. I opened the letter and started to read.

 

Dear, whoever is with my sister

Are you taking care of her? Please tell me you are. Chances are I never got to meet you. Now let me tell you a bit about my sister. She breaks easily. Her emotions are pretty unstable and now it’s probably not any better. She will refer herself to a ticking time bomb. She used to do it a lot. Be there to defuse it for me. I can’t be there. Whoever you are please take care of my sister. Make her the happiest person alive. She deserves it. She doesn’t do much for herself, ever. She is a sweetheart and I love her more than anything in this world. She gets bullied… A lot… She’s probably driving my old car, that thing is crap, it will get her killed if she is still driving it. Silly girl, she was always the more reckless one of the two of us. Did you know that she does parkour? Probably not. She’s really good at it. Get her to show you some time. Look at me… I’m rambling now. Let me end this now by saying; PLEASE take care of Oliver. She’s one of a kind and should have someone by her side who loves just as much as she loves that person. Right now that person must be you, so please never break her.

 

Jude Clear.

 

Oliver… The poor thing… From this letter, I can tell that Oliver was her brother's world and Jude was Oliver’s world. Right then and there I made a promise to Jude that I would be there for Oliver no matter what happens between us. Whether I need to be there as a friend or as a significant other. I will always be there. I sat on the bed contemplating whether or not to tell her what the letter said. I decided against it and put the letter in the drawer of my bedside table. I heard the shower in Oliver’s room turn off so I went to my washroom and showered.


	6. Chapter 6

*Oliver

I was now changed into the outfit that Jude had given me. He was right… I haven’t grown much in the last year. I looked in the mirror and sighed. I was so used to wearing blacks and neutrals so to see me in pastels again… It was weird. There was knock on my door and I said to come in. Hanji walked in and smiled seeing me.

“You look so nice Oliver. Wear those more often!” she said and smiled brightly. I blushed and looked away.

“Come on, Levi and Erwin are waiting. Look you're almost as tall at Levi,” she giggled out. I smiled and nodded.

“Yeah I am,” I mused out and smiled. She giggled once more and I giggled with her. We walked out of my room and out to the living room where Erwin and Levi sat on the couch talking. 

“Look who’s finally ready,” Hanji said in a sing song voice. I blushed and then turned and ran into the kitchen before they could see me. God damn it I’m so stupid.

“Oh come on Oliver you look so cute!” Hanji said and followed me into the kitchen. She grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the kitchen and back into the living room where Levi and Erwin were not standing and looking at the kitchen entrance. I blushed and tried to turn away but Hanji wasn’t going to have any of it. She shoved me in front of her and I stumbled in the heels a bit.

“Oliver you look so nice in that,” Erwin said and smiled.

“Thank you Mr. Captain America Brows,” I said, still blushing and smiled at him. He chuckled at the use of his nickname and I looked at Levi and took in what he was  [ wearing. ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/43/c7/fc/43c7fce8db916f5298c3266d2e23bb7c--style-for-men-guy-style.jpg) It was a nice light blue sweat and a pair of light wash ripped blue jeans and brown shoes. He normally wore dark colours so seeing him in a light/pastel type of outfit made me realise that I really liked it. He looks very handsome on it.

“Oliver you look beautiful, I thought I’d try out the whole light thing as well. Kind of feeling it, but I won’t be doing it often,” he said and smirked at me.

“Thank you. I think you look very handsome in that outfit,” I blushed and then looked away.

“Are you two together now?” Hanji asked and squealed and neither of answered but both of us had a light layer of blush covering our cheeks. Levi took my hand in his and led me out of the door with Erwin and Levi following us laughing. Erwin locked the door and we were on our way.

 

*

After about an hour and half of a drive we were in the next city and at the mall. I excused myself to go to Sephora and smiled when Levi said he would as well since he needed more eyeliner. We walked in and I quickly went and got my two-faced foundation powder while Levi got some eyeliner. We paid quickly and left meeting back up with Hanji and Erwin who were at HotTopic. 

 

*

Our day so far has gone smoothly and now we were sitting in the food court waiting for Hanji to get back with our food. We talking until Levi’s phone went off. He answered it quickly with an annoyed face that quickly turned to shock than excitement. He hung up to the phone and smiled at me.

“Who was that?” Erwin asked.

“Well… Remember Isabel and Furlan. They are moving here in a couple of days, the day after Oliver’s mothers and uncles trial. They found a house and everything,” Levi explained.

“Who are they?” I looked at him and asked. I wonder if I make him as happy as they do judging by the look her had when he spoke about them.

“Well Isabel is like a little sister to me and Furlan is Isabel’s significant other, they’ll be moving down here in a couple of days so you get to meet them,” he explained and took my hand in his. I nodded and smiled when in reality my anxiety was picking up because I’m not good with new people. I wasn’t going to let him know that though. I didn’t want him to worry. Apparently I failed at that though.

“Oliver don’t worry about it. They are nice people and Isabel is your age,” He said to me as Hanji sat down with the food.

“What about Isabel?” Hanji asked.

“Well Isabel and Furlan are moving here in couple of days,” Erwin said and Hanji squealed. They all seem so close to these people… Then there is me… They probably only deal with me because my father asked me to and Levi is probably only dating me for the hell of it.

“Well come on let’s eat. Then we can head out and go bowling at the ally by our dorm,” Erwin suggested. I nodded and looked at Levi who nodded again and gave me a sad look. I’ve disappointed him again. 

**

After I ate a bit and everyone else finished their food we left for home again. I was going to change into something I was more comfortable in now. Maybe try a little bit of Levi’s darker style since I really like it. I don’t know. I did do some cloth shopping so why not. I let my head rest against Levi’s shoulder as Hanji drove us back to the dorm to get ready to go bowling. 

 

**

We got back to the dorm and I  [ changed ](https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=224844142) quickly into something that Levi picked for me. I really like it. Hanji did my makeup for me since I didn’t know what to do, I only really did my foundation. We dyed my hair to Black to silver because it something I wanted to do as well. It was a lot of fun and now we were heading to the bowling alley, we decided to walk since it was close by. I was still a little uncomfortable being in public but I soon got over it with Levi and the others staying close to me. I still can’t believe that Levi and I are dating. It feels good to be with someone who will loves me. We finally got the bowling alley and walked in. We got our shoes and walked over to our lane that was given to us to use for the night. I was told that Petra and a few others would be joining us.

 

**

We were about halfway through our second round of bowling when I felt people staring at my back intensely. I turned around to see Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Marco and Jean three lanes over. Jean and Eren were both glaring daggers at me while they others were figuring out who was going to go when and in what order. I gave them a small wave and smile, in which they returned the favour by scoffing and walking over catching the attention on the others who looked up and waved brightly at me but stayed over there. Well Mikasa didn’t wave but I know she means well. 

“So you decide to just up and change your style, dye your hair and hang around all these older people know. What the hell happened to us Oliver,” Jean sneered. It made my eyes go wide and I flinched back hitting Erwin’s chest who was know right behind me. Levi was in the washroom and Hanji was getting us drinks. Hanji had actually stopped and ran over to Armin to talk and what not. Pretty sure they are dating but you know, I’ll ask Armin later.

“What’s going on here,” Erwin said in a demanding voice that actually made me feel safe. 

“None of your business big brows,” Eren said and crossed his arms.

“Don’t s-say that to him,” I said. I shocked myself by saying that because usually I keep my mouth shut when Jean and Eren are in a mood. Never once has that mood been directed at me but still…

“Clearly there is something wrong if you are coming up here and talking to her like she was never your friend at all,” Erwin said and put his hands on my shoulders in a protective manner. It reminded me of Jude, since he as he was taller than me, he would do that when I was panicking. It made me calm down.

“Well seeing as too all she ever does is spend time with older people, it kinda makes me think that she’s at least fucking around with you guys and being a total slut or you guys are buying her whatever she wants,” Jean stated once more. I flinched harder than before and felt my eyes start to burn. Is that what my friends think of me, as a slut, or a hooker? Fuck that hurts. God I’m so stupid for ever believing that I had friends who loved me and cared for me. My chest became tighter and my breathing got faster then it was before. I guess the others heard what Jean said and basically ran over to us.

“What the hell is wrong with you both?” Mikasa yelled. I flinched again and Erwin took me to a seat that in front of our lane. He sat me down and got on his knees in front of me. 

“Oliver you're not what they say you are. They are just angry that you're getting better without them,” He said to me. He was kind of calming me down but not fully.

“Here, Erwin let me try,” I recognized the voice are Marco.

“Hey Ollie,” he cooed out getting in front of me just like Erwin did.

“Jean and Eren have been in a rough mood all day today. They’ve been really worried about you. They don’t mean what they said. They were angry. Oliver they love you,” He said. I was all that reassured but I know that when they have a bad day they take it out on whoever upset them last. I just to so happen to be that person this time, which hurts.

“Why the hell would she sleep with them when a/ she’s had a rough past with that kind of stuff because of her damn uncle, b/ she is in a relationship with Levi, C/ she doesn’t have the overflowing confidence to even try to do that. Get your facts straight before you go running your mouth and causing panic attacks why don’t you,” Petra said in a rough tone of voice. Her significant other, who I forget his names, standing behind her. That shut Eren and Jean right up as well as shocked everyone else. Everything was becoming more and more distant though as my breathing got worse and my chest much, much tighter. 

“What the hell is going on here?” I heard very faintly as everything started to sound farther and farther away from me. Marco was still in front of me and forcing me to look at him and nowhere else which in the long run was good. My mind was racing and everything started to hurt. 

“Oliver, Stay with us,” I watched someone pull Marco away from me which freaked me out even more but calmed down a bit when Levi appeared in front of me. Instead of him just sitting there he pulled me into his arms and held me there. 

“Oliver, I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he cooed as he held tightened his arms around me, making me feel more secure and safe. I could faintly hear them still fighting, but right now I was just focusing on Levi who was cooing soft nothings into my ear. I closed my eyes and started to focus on my breathing. The sound of his heart beat helped me calm down but also made me extremely sleepy. My whole body felt numb as I feel into a blanket of darkness.

 

*

 

I woke up in my bed changed into a pair of shorts and tank top. I started to panic when I realized that someone had changed me. I checked my body for any types of injuries but didn’t find any. I rested on the bed trying to remember what happened and finally it came to me that I had another fucking stupid panic attack at the bowling alley after being accused of being a slut. My door opened and in walked Erwin who looked upset. He came over and sat on my bed.

“You're awake, that’s good. How are you feeling Liv?” he asked and put his hand on my shoulder. I relaxed at his touch and tried to smile at him.

“Decent. Tired. Unsure,” I said and looked down.

“What are you unsure of Oliver?” he asked me. He got more comfortable on the bed by sitting in front of me with his legs crossed.

“Why you guys keep sticking up for me and actually act like you care… It’s so unreal to me but I still love it and I feel guilty because I’m unsure as to how my friends are towards me now,” I whispered. He was still able to hear me.

“Well for starters we care about you, You're basically my younger sister I never had. Hanji adores and you’ve gotten through the tough shell of Levi freaking Ackerman. Oliver we love you, we care about you, we want you to be safe,” Erwin said. At some point in his small speech Hanji and Levi came in and sat on the bed as well. Levi was beside me, he had his arm around my shoulders and his head touching my head, Hanji was seated on the other side of me smiling brightly. I smiled at Erwin first, then Hanji and finally Levi who kissed my forehead. 

“See Oliver we all love you,” Hanji said and gave me a tight ‘hanji’ hug as I call them. We sat there for a few minutes in silence, it was a comfortable until I broke it.

“So um… Who undressed me?...” I asked. They all bursted out laughing and Hanji put up their hand. I nodded and smiled at them.

“Thank you all… For everything, I love you guys,” I said and smiled as brightly as I could.


	7. Chapter 7

Oliver**  
It was now Saturday, which means it was the day that my father and Annie get out of the hospital for the day and the day of the trail for my uncle and mother. The last few days were rough[ I](https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=228527913) nearly relapsed to cutting but managed to stop myself from it by distracting myself with dance. Levi, Marco, Erwin, Hanji and Armin were there to help with it. Thing between Jean, Eren and I are still a little tense. They always apologise to me and I always say it’s fine but who's to say that it’s not going to be fine… Right now we are standing in the lobby of the court house. We as in Hanji, Petra, Erwin, Levi, my father, Annie, Marco, Mikasa, Armin, Eren, and Jean. I was standing between Levi and My father -who was in a wheelchair-, with Annie standing in front of me looking at me. I was trying my hardest to not panic but it was really hard as the time ticked on. Levi was rubbing small circles on my hand, something he started to do on a regular basis whenever I had a panic attack or my anxiety was acting up.

“Alright you guys can now go into the courtroom. Miss. Clear and company on the left please,” Some person came out of the room and said. As they said that my heart started to beat really fast and the eggs and toast that I had for breakfast wanted to come up and out of my system. I ran to the bathroom and into a stall. I kneeled down and emptied my stomach contents into the toilet. Annie ran in after my and pulled back my long wavy black and silver hair and rubbed my back soothingly. After puking for about two minutes and dry heaving the another two minutes I managed to get back up and stumble over to the sink. My face was a mess now and I had tears running down my face. Eating this morning with everyone was a bad idea. I’m so fucking stupid for eating. 

“Let’s get you washed up Ol,” Annie cooed and grabbed some paper towel. She dampened it and started wash my face off like I was child. I didn’t mind though because right now my mind was racing and I couldn’t think right at all. Everything was starting to hurt. Petra came in a minute later and frowned at the site. I was now sitting on the counter as Petra and fixed me up. Everything felt distant and I felt like I was drugged up with some sort of morphine with how numb and distant everything felt. Once they finish we walked out and Levi was waiting right at the door for me.

“Oliver,” he said and hugged me. He held me there for a minute before letting go and guiding me over to my father was waiting for us by the door. My father gave me a sympathetic look and frowned. We walked into the courtroom and as soon as Levi had to let go of my hand Petra took it and walked me over to the little cube that we would be at. We sat down and waited for everyone to get here. 

 

**

About five minutes later they brought out my mother and uncle. My mother looked smug as did my uncle who was still bandaged from the wound he got. They both looked at me with wild eyes and crazed looks. I wanted to run away, I wanted to leave right then and there. I was so afraid of them that I didn’t want to see them ever again. It made me remember all the things I’ve been trying to put in the past. I don’t like thing, no I hate this with a burning passion and I want it to be done with. I felt sick again but I knew that there was nothing in my stomach to throw up. I franticly tried to find Levi, Annie and my father in crowd behind but everything was blurry. Petra still held my hand and gave it a small squeeze. Things seemed to calm down after that everything as blur of evidence and painful pictures from the past. Pictures of the bruises that were left behind from my uncle doing things to me and pictures of cuts and gashes from my mother. Pain, pain and more pain was all that I was feeling now because of this trial. I didn’t want to be here anymore, I wanted to disappear forever and hide. 

 

**

“Guilty as charged. Charles Nought will be sentenced to 9.8 years in jail, and Anna Nought will be sentenced to five years in prison with termination of parental rights and no supervised visits for the child; Oliver Clear,” Those right there were the best words I have ever heard in my life. I was hoping they could be locked away for longer but they are out of my life and I was so happy. Everyone was cheering and Levi even hoped over the little things that separates the crowd from the clients and hugged me tightly. Fuck he even kissed me, he was so happy. He was smiling which made me smile brightly. After that I thanked the judge and Petra so many times and we left. 

 

*

We were now home from the court and we were all Levi’s dorm. Levi and I stopped by to see his grandmother again. She is so sweet and making a good recovery, she may get to come home soon. That’s exciting to news to add on to this good as fuck day. 

“Oliver, that dance off is tonight. Did you want to come with me?” Levi asked as everyone started to slowly leave. My father and Annie had to go back the hospital since they were only cleared for today and were officially out in two weeks. 

“I’d love too. Why not add on to this great day?” I said and smiled once more. I’ve done so much smiling that my cheeks were starting to hurt.

“You are very right Ol. It starts around 11:00 tonight but we have to be there around 10:30 so I can help set things up. Are you excited?” He asked and as sat on the couch. Levi had his arm around me and was holding me close to his warm body.

“Yeah, I’m a little nervous since it’s all college students but at the same time I’m excited because I love to watch you dance,” I said and cuddled more into him. He kissed my forehead and I blushed brightly. 

“I’m going in what I normally wear, Do you want to dress matching me or are you going wear what you usually wear?” He asked.

“I want to wear something like your style! I really like it,” I said and smiled. That how we spent our time until we had to get ready. We talked, ate some dinner, which actually stayed in my stomach this time, Levi helped me pick out my outfit and Hanji helped me with my makeup and Erwin cleaned up a bit and gave me feedback on how I looked. It was nice and calm. Levi reminded me that I would get to meet to Isabel and Furlan tomorrow which made me a little nervous but I was excited at the same time.

 

**

We were now in the car on our way to the dance off. Levi was driving, I was sitting passenger and  [ Erwin  ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/94/b3/53/94b353852e6e0383c11230e3cbb0a4e3--baggy-trousers-harem-pants.jpg) and  [ Hanji ](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB15TshJVXXXXaqXpXXq6xXFXXXG/Details-about-Women-Korean-Stretchy-Casual-Loose-Hip-Hop-Dance-Harem-Pants-Trousers.jpg_640x640.jpg) were in the back. They were also going and dancing. Turns out Armin is meeting us there. I was right about Armin and Hanji dating. I think they are so cute together!  [ Levi  ](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/cf/23/00/cf23008adbf341d6f6966bd3b1189dbd--rock-outfits-scene-outfits.jpg) was holding  [ my ](http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/yfit6o-l.jpg) hand with one hand while the other hand was on the steering wheel. It was nice out so I didn’t really need the jacket but it’s still a security thing for me. I feel better with it on, I know stupid… Once we got there we parked and got out. [ Armin  ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/2b/d3/c4/2bd3c4ee9e97210c71c40f096f5e8a6c--fashion-guys-men-fashion-style.jpg) was standing there in usual attire. I gave Armin a hug and he hugged me back tightly. Even though we had just seen each other earlier today, it was still nice seeing him again. I missed being around him and the others all the time but at the same time I love being around Levi, Hanji, Petra nad Erwin all the time. It was nice. 

“Hey, you ready to see some amazing things Armin?” Hanji asked and took Armin hand in theirs. Armin nodded and smiled. God they are so cute together.

“Yo Levi, Hanji, Erwin you're here!” Petra’s significant other said and ran over to us. I remember his name now, it’s Auruo. Petra walked up to us as well and smiled. They both looked really good in what they were wearing. Better than I looked, but then again that’s completely normal…

“Yup, let’s get this thing set up. Armin and Oliver are here to see it happen,” Erwin said and patted me on the head. I swatted his hand away and he chuckled at me. Levi guided Armin and I over to big flat tall rock where he, Erwin and Hanji usually stay at until it’s their turns. Armin got on it first and then helped me get on it as Levi went to help get everything set up as people started to show up. We sat there and the more people who showed up the more stairs Armin and I got. We also got a few glares. I shrank back every time someone glared at me. Armin was there and holding my hand to help comfort me. It helped so I was thankful for him doing that.

“Hey, who are you two and why are you here?” some tall guy came up and said to us while glaring at us. It made me uncomfortable.

“We are here with Erwin, Levi and Hanji,” Armin answered with a strong tone. 

“Yeah right, they never come with people. Plus you guys are stupid little high schoolers. Why don’t you go run away to mommy,” that comment stung. With everything good that happen today there were also bad things to happen. That being said, the mommy thing hit a sore tender spot in me because I had no mom to run to and nether did Armin. Levi came right up behind the guy who said it and grabbed his arm tightly and pulled it behind him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing talking to my girlfriend and her best friend like that?” he said through tight teeth.

“W-What? Y-Your girlfriend.. I didn’t know. I thought I they were just butting into the wrong territory. Sorry Levi, man. C-can you let go of my arm now, I need it to dance,” the guy stuttered out. Wow, that was hot, but I won't tell LEvi that. 

“Stay away from my girlfriend got it, she’s had enough to deal with today,” Levi let go of the guys arm roughly and he ran off.

“You okay Oliver?” he asked me. He got onto the rock and wrapped his arms around me. I was still hurt by that one comment and I could that Armin was too.

“That comment stung,” I whispered.

“The mom comment?” he asked. I nodded.

“You don’t need to anyone because you are a strong independent girl. Nor do you Armin. I know you only live with you grandfather but you're strong as well,” Levi said and patted Armin on the shoulder and held me a little. He was really sweet when he wanted to be. 

“Everything is setup, now we wait for the other college to show up,” Erwin said and his hands on my and Armin shoulder. Hanji had their arms around Armin who was looking down. That comment really bothered Armin. I mean fuck, his mother died three years ago in an accident… His father was never around. He’s been with Grandfather and mother his whole life and now just his grandfather. I reached my hand out and held onto Armin’s. He needed the support just as much as I do. He tightened his grip and I gave Levi a look telling him to let go. Hanji also let of Armin and I pulled him into a hug. It was much needed as I felt tears fall from his eyes. The three others just stayed quiet and I was thankful for that. No one approached us and no one touched us. We needed this moment for us. 

“Armin and I are going to go get coffee or something, do you guys want anything?” I said as Armin and pulled away from each other. Armin still had his head hung low.

Yeah, I can use some black tea,” Levi said and smiled sweetly at me. It was an encouraging smile that made me feel better about this. 

“Just be quick though the dance off starts in about fifteen minutes,” Erwin said. Hanji and erwin then told us their orders and we were off. Armin and I walked to nearest coffee shop and walked in. We were alone in the shop beside the workers. I asked them if they had a family washroom and when they said yes and showed me I pulled Armin into the washroom.

“Hey, thank you for that,” Armin said in a low voice. 

“You’re my best friend and you needed my help. Of course I’d help you Ar. I love you, you know that. I could tell you needed some air away from everyone,” I said and grabbed some paper towel and dampened it with cool water. I passed it to him and then sat on the counter.

“You know, I never thought it would be this hard to hear the words ‘run back to mommy’ since it happened three years ago. It still feels so fresh,” he said and patted his face down with the damp paper towel.

“It will always feel fresh Ar. She was your light, she helped you, you were there when it happened and witnessed it first hand. Armin when Levi said you were strong he meant it and I do to. You're really strong and you know what, sure you cried but hey you gave me the usual warning as to when you needed to leave the group. I’m proud of you for not holding it in,” I said and he moved in to hug me.

“You are amazing Oliver,” he said. 

“Now let’s get them  their coffee and tea,” he said and smiled at me. I nodded and carefully hopped off the counter. We went and ordered the drinks then left. About five minutes later we were back at the dance off site and over on the flat rock drinking our caffeinated drinks. Levi and was leaning against the rock in front of me while Erwin was sitting beside me on the left, Armin on my right and Hanji sitting behind Armin. Everyone was now here and people were dancing in the middle. It was a large circle and everyone was cheering on the people the wanted to cheer for. We had the best seats in the house in my opinion. We could see everything. Soon enough it was Levi’s turn and I gave him a kiss on the cheek before he went to the middle and was paired up with the same guy who approached us and hurt Armin mentally.

“Beat his ass to fucking ground Levi,” I said and smirked. I surprised myself with that and apparently everyone else as well. He smirked back at me and nodded. Hanji, Erwin and Armin were all laughing now and I was still smirking and trying not to laugh. It was going to be a good night. As Levi and the asswhole dance I smiled and watched them. Levi is soo good at doing what he does that it makes me happy to see him doing it. By the end of the dance off the asswhole who panting and Levi was standing tall and proud. I was happy that he won and jumped off of the rock and met him halfway. He hugged me tightly and I smiled like crazy. By the end of the night Armin and I were both smiling and cheering on the people we know. It was a good night and I didn’t want it to end. By the end of the night Levi had convinced me to do a battle against the best at his school -which was him- and the best at the other colleges school. I was reluctant at first but then I was thought why the hell not and so I did. I ended up beating both Levi and the other guy. Everyone was surprised at that and that made me a little more confidant in my abilities. Levi’s arms were around me as we made our way to the car. Hanji and Erwin were going to go with Armin back the dorm while Levi and I were going to go to the hospital to see his grandmother since we promised we would. 

 

**

We were now in the room with Levi’s grandmother who was talking to Levi about his win and when she would be getting out. I was listening but at the same time not listening since you know I the the hospital. 

“Hey Levi, I’m going to go see Annie and my father real quick, alright?” I said to him. He said sure and just to meet him back here when I was ready to leave. I nodded and gave his grandmother and hug and kissed Levi’s cheek. I walked down the hall to the stairs and went down a floor to where Annie and my father were. It was quiet since it was really late at night but we were managed to get in to visit like we promised so that's all that mattered. I opened the sliding door to Annie and my father's room and walked in. As expected both were awake and talking. They looked at me and smiled brightly.

“Did Levi win?” my father asked. I nodded and sat down in a chair that was between their beds. 

“Sweet heart. I didn’t want to tell you this tonight but it seems like the best time to do it. I may not be able to walk anymore,” my father said took my small pale hand is in his larger slightly darker hand. My eyes widened and I felt my heart break into ever more broken pieces. This all my fault that he can’t walk.

“W-Wait what do you mean?” I managed to get out.

“It will take years before I walk again and even then I may not be able to. Sweet heart this is not your fault at all so don’t think that,” he said and rubbed my hand with his fingers. I was shaking now and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my eyes that had a lot of dark makeup on them.

“It is my fault though. If I didn’t ask you both to come see my stupid dance you wouldn’t have had this happen to you and you guys would have still good and out of here and not laying in these stupid beds. It’s my fault you guys got into that accident in the first place. Fuck I’m so stupid. It should have been me,” I whispered the last part. I was losing it all over again and I was afraid but it’s true, it’s my fault they are in the hospital.

“Stop. Don’t say another damn word Oliver Clear. You’re my best friend and this is NOT your fucking fault. Oliver, it’s that drunk drivers fault. They were the one hit the car and flipped us over. At least we alive Ol. Please stop blaming yourself for this,” She got us and wrapped her arms me securely. I was shaking and crying. I want to believe her so badly but I can’t know that I was the one who they were going to see. It will always be my fault. 

“How about we call Levi to come get you so you can go rest?” my father said and called Levi up. I just sat there with an endless amount of tears falling from my eyes and shaking non stop. A nurse had come in to try and calm me down but it was too late and I was already in my own little world of self hate. Levi had come down not even five minutes later and thanked both Annie and father before guiding me out of the room and down to car.

 

**

The whole ride home I was silent, Levi tried to get me to talk to him about what happened I wouldn’t budge. Everything hurt, I feel stupid, I feel like I shouldn’t be here and I just wanted to leave before I hurt anyone else. 

“Oliver look at me,” Levi stated. I didn’t looked at him.

 

Levi**

I was trying to get Oliver to look and talk to me but at this point I knew that it wasn’t going to happen, she needed to get home and have some time to herself. I got the run down over text from Annie before I started to drive so I know what’s going on in here head. She probably thinks she’s so stupid right now and that it should have been her instead of them. I know how her mind works now. By now we were back at the dorm and she wasn’t crying anymore which meant that she had turned herself off and was now just a shell of the Oliver I knew. She needed some time to herself. We walked up the stairs, Oliver in front of me. She walked in and went straight to her room and closed the door. I sighed and shook my head at Armin, Erwin and Hanji who looked worried. 

“Her father may not be able to walk anymore, Oliver hasn’t said a word since she left the fucking hospital and I have no idea what the fuck to do,” I let out and basically threw myself onto the couch and buried my head in my hands. I rubbed my face hard with my hands and felt like screaming. I heard the shower go in Oliver’s room and I knew that it was going to be a long night. I shouldn’t doubt her because I know she’s strong but she has all this pent up aggression that she’s been holding be against herself and she’s ready blow soon. I’m trying to disarm the ticking time bomb that’s inside of her ready to blow and take all this pain out on herself in the worse way possible. 

 

**

A half an hour passed before something finally happened. Everyone was tense with Oliver in the state she is currently in. We heard a scream and what sounded like bangin coming from the washroom in Oliver’s room. She was finally breaking down bit by bit. We all into her room and over to the washroom. Armin tried to open in but it was locked so Erwin busted it down using his body weight. The door broke off it’s hinges and Armin rushed in. I was right behind him.

 

Oliver**

I finally broke down. I started to scream and punch the tiled walls of the shower. I was looking for the shaver after that. I was still screaming and panicking. My mind was in hyperdrive trying to find that fucking blade. I needed this, this is what I was meant to do obviously. I needed to leave this fucking hell hole. Whatever good things have come to me are overridden by the pain and hate that I have for myself. I heard them all running to the washroom, not like they could get in right away, I locked the fucking door before getting into the shower. I’m fucking stupid but not that stupid. I wanted the emotional pain to leave, fuck that I needed the emotional pain gone and out of my life. I found the razor just as the door broke off it’s hinges. I was struggling to even scream out coherent words like: ‘get the fuck away’ ‘please’ ‘go away’. It all came out jumbled and not even proper words. They screaming at me to stop. I had dropped the razor and fell to the shower floor. 

 

Armin**

Without second thought, the moment she dropped to the floor I was in the shower and holding her as she rocked back and forth in my arms whimpering and crying. She curled herself into a ball and Hanji reached over and turned off the flowing scalding water. This isn’t the first time she’s hit rock bottom like this. It’s happened two times before that. Once when her brother died and then again when her father and Annie went into a coma. I’ve been here for her both times. Holding her as she mentally and physically broke down and nearly killed herself. Erwin brought over and towel and set it over our bodies. Levi was sitting on the wet floor outside of the tube with his knees up and head resting on them looking at Oliver, with his right hand on Oliver’s covered back. Erwin was getting more towel to dry up all the water that was all over the washroom. As soon as Oliver wasn’t gripping my shirt tightly and was calm enough to be moved. We moved her to her bed and left me to dry her off. As I dried her I said some soothing things to her. She wasn’t reacting to them at all but all of a sudden she said some game changing words to me that I knew she meant.


	8. Chapter 8

Armin**

“I want to get better. I don’t want to go back to the way I was. I don’t want cut or hurt myself anymore,” she said in a firm voice. She was still staring at the wall but I could hear the sincere and firmness in her voice that made me believe her. She was going to get through this, I know she will. I told her that I believe in her and that she could do it. I told her to get dress and meet me in the living room. She agreed and moved to hug me close to her still slightly shaky body. 

I walked out of the room and over the three who was sitting on the couch. Levi had tears running down his face and looked like he was in a full-blown panic attack. Hanji and Erwin were on either side of him comforting him. I went straight to the kitchen and got everyone something to drink, for Oliver, I got her a warm cup of black Coffee with pumpkin spice in it, Levi, a hot cup of black tea, Hanji, a cup of coffee with three sugars and one cream in it, Erwin and cup of hot chocolate and me a cup of warm hot chocolate. I walked out with the cups of hot drinks on a platter like thing and set them down on the table. I think everyone needed something warm to soothe their minds. This is the first time I’ve ever witnessed Levi panicking before. Don’t get me wrong everyone has their days but Levi is very very rare apparently. He was just as much of a mess as Oliver was. These two have probably been through hell and back. Levi can be a bit of an asshole most of the time but he’s really sweet towards Oliver, Annie, Marco and I. I guess that’s because we are Oliver’s best friends. I don’t really know though.

“She said she wanted to get better,” I said as we all sipped on our drinks waiting for Oliver to come out.

“She said in such a firm voice that I fully believe that she would get through it,” I said again. Levi nodded and sipped on his drink some more. 

“I think she can do it, but I feel like she needs some therapy… Honestly, it’ll help her more. Some form of art or dance therapy will do her justice,” Hanji said and took a hold of my free hand. I smiled at Hanji and it made me feel warm inside knowing that they cared for Oliver just as much as I did. These three people are the people who are currently saving Oliver the most. It makes me happy.

“We’d have to talk to her about it. She doesn’t trust new people easily,” Erwin said.

“The college runs dance and art therapy sessions for people going through a hard time. I would know, one of my classes revolves around it. I’m in it,” Levi said. I didn’t know that but it could help her.

“The only problem is, is that she’s not in college Levi,” Hanji said in a soft voice.

“I can talk to my teacher, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind having her there. She’s an amazing dancer and this might even help her in the long run with college,” he said, he had a pleading look on his face. Hanji and Erwin looked at each other for a moment and nodded. 

“Alright, let’s see what she thinks now,” Erwin said and took a sip of his hot chocolate. A few minutes later she came out wearing a pair of thin jogging pants and one of three’s college sweaters.

 

Oliver**

I came out of the room wearing a pair of my thin jogging pants and Erwin’s college sweater, ready to tell them that I wanted to get better. I don’t want to suffer from all this pain that I put on myself anymore. I want to be able to smile and not think I’m stupid for feeling happy, I want to be happy without thinking I don’t deserve it. After my breakdown in the shower, I realized that I needed to get better because none of my friends wan't to see me in this much pain and I don’t want to see myself sink so low again. I needed to get better for everyone else and more importantly, myself. I needed to get better to help myself stay on top. I already know that it’s going to be hard since it’s been a habit for the last four years to resort to this stuff but with the right kind of help I could do it. I sat down beside Levi who was sitting on the loveseat couch, Erwin was in the recliner chair and Hanji and Armin were on the full sized couch. Armin was curled up into Hanji’s side holding a cup. Actually they were all holding a cup. Levi passed me a cup that smelled of black coffee and pumpkin spice. I was thankful for that because I really wanted something warm to drink.

“So Oliver, I see you’ve claimed my sweater once again,” Erwin said and chuckled. I gave him a smile and nodded.

“This is what only the seventh time this week that I’ve taken it from you?” I asked and took a big gulp of my drink. It made me feel even warmer than I did before.

“I want to apologise. I shouldn’t have broken down like that at all,” I said and looked at the cup of dark good tasting and smelling liquid that was in my hands moving around in its confined space.

“Everyone has a breaking point, Oliver, you’ve finally hit it. No need to apologise for something that everyone has. It was needed because it made you realise one important fact. You told Armin you wanted to get better,” Hanji said and smiled at me. I still bad for it, I don’t anything could change about that, I also felt stupid but this time I knew that I don’t have to feel stupid about it.

“I do want to get better,” I said with confidence. I said it with so much confidence that I scared myself. This is the first time I have spoken like that in about three years or so. It felt good because I would be doing this for me.

“Well I have an idea that would help,” Levi said. He still really wasn’t much of talker but he’s been talking a lot more since I first met him a couple months ago. 

“Art therapy. That includes dance, music, drama, and visual arts. It will help you. It’s run through our college, Levi is in the course and helps run it,” Erwin said and took another sip from his cup. I looked at Levi and smiled but on the inside I was terrified, the thought of therapy always scared me. It’s probably the fact that I have to talk about what has happened to me and that scares me because that means there’s a possibility that I could relapse and fuck it all up… again…

“It will Oliver, I was in the program when I first started there and now I help run it. It helps Liv, it really does. Actually, I can see if your dance teachers can help out. Please, Oliver, it’ll do more good than bad,” Levi pleaded, I guess he saw right through my smile. I looked down. I thought about for a few more minutes and then nodded.

“Fine, if it will help me get better than fine,” I said in the same amount of confidence as before. I was going to push my way through this and get better, I have the best people here helping me. 

“Thank you, Oliver, this is only step one. We’ll see where this takes us and if we need to get you to the doctors for anti-depressants we will because guess what, this is all going to work for the best, for your love,” Levi said and kissed my forehead. He really loves doing that and I don’t mind at all. I looked around smiling and everyone was smiling back at me. I felt calm and collected.

“So um… minor issue,” Hanji said.

“What would that issue Hanji,” Armin said and looked at Hanji with curiosity in his eyes.

“Well, Isabel and Furlan land in about ten minutes and we have to pick them up… ,” Hanji said. Levi’s eyes widened, as did Erwin's.

“Shit, we have to. Hanji, Armin, Erwin are you all coming?” Levi said and gt up quickly.

“Yeah, I’ll take my truck with Hanji and Armin if they want to come,” Erwin said and got up quickly as well. Hanji and Armin agreed and got up quickly as well. During the dance off I filled Armin in as to who Isabel and Furlan were and was pretty excited to meet them as was I. I was nervous but still excited to meet Levi’s sister like figure and her S/O. We all ran out the door and locked it behind us. Levi and I ran to his car and got in quickly. We drove off to the airport which was fifteen minutes again, thankfully no longer since there was no traffic at like four in the morning. We park and ran inside with the other three right behind us. We stopped at the gate that Isabel and Furlan were apparently coming out of just in time. As we stopped a young looking girl around our age with dark maroon hair in small pigtails at the base of her neck with bright green eyes and a tall guy with short blonde messy hair going in all directions and greyish eyes came out of the sliding doors looking around. They were the last ones out, so I guess they were Isabel and Furlan since they looked like the pictures that Levi and the others have shown me over the last few days. 

“Aniki!” Isabel yells and runs over to Levi who just smiled and hugged her tightly. I recognised the word as, older brother. I guess it really paid off to be a bit of an anime/manga nerd… 

“Hi, Isabel,” Levi said as he set her down.

“You must be Oliver, Levi’s significant other, I’m Isabel this is Furlan my significant other and a bit of a dork,” Isabel said and hugged me. She was really bubbly and had so much confidence in her voice. I smiled and hugged her back. I was nervous as all fuck to meet them but they seem pretty cool.

“Hi, I’m Oliver and this is my best friend Armin, also Hanji’s significant other,” I said and pointed to Armin to try and get the attention off of me. Levi took my hand in his and squeezed it slightly. He was smiled at me so I smiled back at him.

“Woah Aniki just smiled at someone other than Hanji, Erwin, Furlan, his grandmother and I. Did you brainwash him, Oliver?” she asked with a playful tone. I decided to take a chance and be playful back. I winked and put my finger up to my lips and shhhed.

“You never know,” I said and smiled. Isabel and everyone else laughed which means I did a good job.

“I like her Levi, don’t scare her away,” Furlan said still laughing a bit at what I said. I giggled and smiled. Levi bent down a little and pecked me on the lips. I blushed widely and bite my lip.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Levi chuckled and smiled at my reaction.

“Wahhh you two are so cute!! You guys should work at our cafe!” Isabel squealed as we went to get their luggage, once that was gotten we headed out. I thought about what Isabel said about working at her cafe and I was actually considering it if she wasn’t joking or anything. I liked the idea of it but I was afraid that I would fuck it all up and they would all hate me.

“What kind of cafe did you open Isabel?” Hanji asked and smiled as we loaded their luggage into the back of Erwin’s truck. The rest of their stuff would be here soon so while their house gets’s set up, they would be staying at Levi’s grandmother’s place but for tonight we were just going back to our dorm. I’ve been there three or four times. When Levi goes there to clean and what not I go with him sometimes when I’m bored.

“Well, it’s an anime/cosplay themed cafe. Each week is a new theme and for our grand opening in about a month, we are going to do Tokyo Ghoul! I’m really excited but we need more people. That’s why I was kind of hoping that Levi, you and Erwin would work for us! I also really want Oliver to work with us because well she is tiny and cute!” Isabel explained and smiled brightly. I blushed brightly bite my lip once more. 

“I-I’m not that cute trust me,” I said and smiled.

“But you are, even Armin is!” Isabel exclaimed again. This time Armin was blushing a bright red colour. Isabel pulled me off to the side to talk to me about something before we left the airport.

“I heard you were going through a rough time. I also heard that you had some amazing outcomes yesterday and that you want to get better. Well, I want to help you. I don’t know you that well at all but you’ve helped Levi so much in the last couple months. You’ve helped him forget about the pain and heartbreak his parents made him go through and you helped him live again. I want to help you live again as well as a thank you. Plus I think we will be good friends Oliver. What do you say? Will you work at the cafe? You’ll get a lot of support from everyone,” Isabel said and held onto my two hands. I was shocked. Someone I just met not even twenty minutes ago want’s to help me because I helped someone they care about deeply gets better. I didn’t do anything but everything worse for them and yet I’ve to help him? 

“I-I don’t know how I’ve helped him if anything I’ve made everything ten times worse. He always worries and it makes me feel bad and I’ve stressed him out so much. I’ve done more damage than good Isabel. Why do you want to help me? I’m a mess,” I exclaimed. 

“You may not see it but trust me, Oliver, you’ve helped him. He talks more, he’s happier, he’s not isolating himself anymore. Oliver, you’ve saved him just like he has saved you. I want to thank you, by offering you a part-time or full-time job at the cafe. It’s the least I can do, plus I think you’ll do amazing,” she said and hugged me close to her. God these fucking people are amazing.

“Thank you so much, Isabel. God I just met you and you are so amazing,” I said as a tear fell from my eyes. 

“No, thank you, Oliver, for coming into all of our lives and helping out,” she said and smiled after letting go of me. We walked back over to the others were standing by Levi’s car and waiting for us. I walked up to Levi and hugged him around the waist. What would I do without him or these people in my life? I love them all so much. I peaked Levi on the lips and smiled as his cheeks went a soft tint of pink. 

“Alright let’s get back we’re all tired and need sleep,” Erwin said and smiled. We all agreed and left the airport, driving back to our dorm where we would crash. I slept in one of Levi’s tops so I didn’t have to go all the way to my room. Isabel and Furlan took my room while I room with Levi. I’ve roomed with him before so it’s no big deal. We fell asleep easily this night, probably because we did a lot in the last two days with little to no sleep that it just came so nicely for us. It was nice. Tonight I finally didn’t have any nightmares.

 

**

I woke up to the sound of talking the living room. Levi was still asleep so I decided to let him sleep a little bit longer. I untangled myself from his arms and walked over to his washroom where I got into the shower and showered quickly. Once I was done I changed into a pair of Levi’s jogging pants and Erwin’s sweater again. I had of one of Levi’s tank tops under it. I walked out of the room and into the living room where Erwin, Armin, and Furlan were seated talking about the cafe. I said morning to them all and walked to the kitchen where I bumped into Isabel making some breakfast.

“Good morning Oliver!” Isabel said and smiled brightly at me. I smiled brightly back and asked her if she needed my help. She said no since she was done but said that I should go wake everyone else up. I made everyone drinks first and then walked over to Hanji’s room as Isabel called the others to go make the table. I walked into the room to see Hanji stirring in the bed. I walked over and sat on the bed.

“Hanji it’s time to get up. I made you some coffee and Isabel made breakfast,” I shook up and she opened her tired looking eyes. I smiled as she said alright and barely managed to get out of bed before falling back onto it and groaning. I walked out and over to Levi’s room. I heard the shower on and decided to just knock on the door to the bathroom.

“Levi once you're done breakfast is done and your tea is made,” I said. He didn’t hear me so I had to open the door slightly. Just as I opened the door the water turned off, the towel was pulled from the counter and the curtains opened. I stood there shocked with my eyes wide as I seen Levi with the towel wrapped around his waist and his bare chest dripping with water.

“What did you say Ol,” My cheeks were now red hot and I was stammering a lot.

“O-Oh um yeah, b-breakfast is done. I-I made you a tea. Um yeah, I-I’ll see you out there w-when your… you know clothed... Um bye,” I quickly closed the door and pressed my back against it. My face was hot and my eyes were still wide. Fuck he has a nice body. Shut up Oliver now is not the time… I’m so embarrassed… I ran out of the room and into the kitchen, my face still hot from the encounter I just had with my fucking hot boyfriend. I sat down at the table and received questioning looks from everyone. 

“You look like you just saw a ghost, Oliver. What happened?” Armin asked. 

“N-Nothing!” I answered quickly and fast. Way to not look guilty Oliver, good fucking job. Just then Levi walked out, this time fully clothed and not just with a fucking towel around his waist… 

“Morning,” he said and sat beside me. I was still blushing as he gave me a kiss on the cheek and had a slight smirk on his face. Fuck you too Levi fucking Ackerman…

“What happened? Oliver is dying from blushing so much and Levi, you looked like you just won a million dollars,” Furlan said. Before I could answer with nothing again Levi spoke first.

“Oh you know, I was in the shower when Oliver came to get me and I had gotten out just as she opened the door the re-tell me that breakfast was ready. She just saw me in a towel,” he was smug about it and I was so going to kill him for it as I felt my face heat up even more.

“Awwweee now she’s blushing even more,” Isabel giggled out and smiled. I puffed up my cheeks as everyone joked about it. It wasn’ a bad joking so I didn’t feel hurt or anything. It was a nice kind of joking that everyone could joke around with it. After breakfast, Levi and Hanji did the dishes and we all just sat around for like three hours.

“So, Oliver, I talked to Petra about the therapy classes and she said it was a good idea, she talked it over with your father and agreed to it so now tomorrow you and Petra are going to have a meeting with your principal and figure out which classes can be done by booklets so that you can go the college and start them soon,” Levi said as we cuddled on the couch, I was between his legs and his arms were around my shoulders. I looked at him with subtle shock and took a steady breath in. Remember Oliver this is will help you, I had to mentally keep thinking that to myself so I didn’t overthink it all and panic.

“Alright… ,” I said and took another steady breath in. He smiled and kissed me. I kissed him back closing my eyes. Once he pulled away I kept my eyes closed and rested my head on his chest. 

 

**

Another hour later I got a call from my dad saying that he was able to get an apartment close to the dorm and that I would be able to just stay with them as long they were okay with it since my father was so close. I ended up handing the phone to Levi who agreed right away with me staying here permanently. It was a bit of a relief for since I had grown so used to staying here and being with these three people all the time. Plus Annie would be living with my father as well since she is basically his daughter as well. It was nice to change and I would be able to see them more often once they were out of the hospital. 

We were given the okay to get everything moved into the apartment so that what we did. Once we got Isabel and Furlan settled into Levi’s grandmother's place we left for my old place, aka the one place I hate the most. I called up Marco and Mikasa to bring over Eren and Jean to see if they wanted to come help and then go out for dinner since I hadn’t really seen them in a while. They both agreed in a split second.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING, WARNING, WARNING. This chapter is extremely triggering and contains a lot of inappropriate language and other offensive things. So PLEASE if you are easily triggered just skip to the end where I will post a summary of the chapter and what happened. I don't want anyone to be offended or feel triggered by this.

Everyone was here now and I was actually in my old room. There was still blood on the wall in some places in my room and the halls and downstairs was still a wreck. Marco and Levi were up here with me packing all of my stuff while everyone else was packing up everything else and separating all of my mother's stuff so that it could be held in a storage space until she was out of jail. Her coming out of jail was a scary thought and I didn’t want it to happen but I knew it was going to happen… Petra was here as well, helping out. I’ve grown closer to Petra and honestly, I think of her as a mother figure that I never got to have. 

There was only one place I was dreading going and that was in the attic… The attic was the place I feared the most and the place that tore me apart from the inside out but I knew I had to face it was there and get it over with. One good thing about this. Whatever is left is this house will go up in flames. I was told the I could burn the fucking house down once we were done with it today. The faster I get it done the faster it would burn to pits of hell. Once everything was packed in my room and out of it, I went to the closet of the parent's room and opened the attic door. I could already feel myself starting to panic as I remembered all the painful times my uncle would drag my up the solid metal stairs and then ripe right into me like I was a fucking doll. I was frozen right there until Mikasa came up to me and hugged me.

“This is where it all happened. Each and every time he raped me was up there in the fucking attic. Mikasa, it hurts too much still,” I sobbed as she held me.

“Stay strong Liv. You can do this. You’ve come this far, don’t give up. I know you can do this,” she cooed to me. I nodded and took in a big breath of air. I didn’t want Levi to come up here. I didn’t him to see how dirty and filthy I am. He understood that I didn’t want him to see everything that was going on up there. All the pictures, all the CDs, all the tools used. He didn’t need to see any of it. No one did but I needed someone up there with me. Petra came up with me. She was going to help me sift through it all. I had told the police about it when I went it when my uncle was caught but since they had enough evidence to put him away they never bothered with it so now it’s my job to clean it up, despite me being the victim of it. Petra was angry with this. We went up the stairs, Petra first and me right behind.

“What the fuck,” she whispered as she looked around. I could feel the vile taste of vomit in my mouth as I looked around as well. There was still blood and condoms filled with that bastards shit everywhere. The mattress that was in the corner hadn’t moved at all and you still see all the disgusting stains and blood and tears all over. All the photos were still on the wall and the tv was still there plugged in and on. Just the way he left it a couple of weeks ago. He still had a CD of one of the many times he messed up my body in it and the box of them was still there. All the gags and whips were scattered everywhere and it was a mess. I felt sick to my stomach and the pain was all over as I let out a shrill scream of frustration and pain. I fell to my knees and in that split second, I could the anger surging through me.

“Petra go downstairs, please,” I managed through clenched teeth, I had things to take care of up here.

“I can’-” she started.

“Please. Take whatever evidence you need because I’m about to fucking blow up and tear this fucking place apart,” I pleaded with her my eyes trained on the tv that started to make noises. I knew for a fact that my uncle had the to start played automatically once someone entered the room and stayed there for longer than five minutes. It was a sensor thing so he could get right to work without having to do much. Petra looked at the tv with horrified eyes and my naked body was on the screen tied up with cuts, blood, smeared makeup, hot wax and other various things all over it. I still felt sick and in that moment I needed to break every little thing in that fucking room. Petra ran over to the tv to turn it off but it wasn’t working since my uncle had a password and lock on it. I went over to it and grabbed a bat that was laying around. I smashed the fucking thing to pieces as Petra looked at me shocked.

“Go,” I said, my voice had no tone to it and it flat like I wasn’t the one talking. It scared me but I knew I had to succumb to it to make it through this. I was so angry.

“Alright, you do what you need to do. I’ve got what I need, destroy it all sweetie,” Petra said and left the attic for me. That’s when I lost. I went crazy screaming and breaking things and smashing everything. I found the knife he used to use on me and started to stab and slash at the bed and chains that were present there. Everything was going to be destroyed and I was going to feel so good after it. Nothing was going to stop me from burning this fucking place to the ground with everything horrible memory that was in this house with it. I was going to live again and I was going to make sure of it. Once everything was trashed I went downstairs, my face void of emotion. 

“Wheres my mother’s things?” I asked. Levi was looking at me but not in fear but with a look of proud on it. He points it all of in the corner of the room. I walked over to it and took all the pictures she had of me and Jude when we were younger along with photo’s of my father and smashed them right then and there. She had no right to have them after all the things she did to me, to my family. She and my uncle fucked me up real bad and you know what neither of them deserves to get out of that fucking place so when they do they won’t have anything. My mothers expensive clothing she got from my father, ripped to shreds, all her jewelry, broken and bent, her wedding dress that her and my father got married in, torn and ripped so you wouldn’t even know it was wedding dress, and more importantly anything I ever gave her in her life gone. 

So many emotions flowed through my body and I wanted to be shut down but I knew that I couldn’t do that. There were firefighters, police and an ambulance outside just in case the worse happened since I would be setting this fucking house to flames but I didn’t care if they heard cursing or screaming. I needed this closure for myself. Once that was done I asked them all to leave the house. I was told that my father and Annie were outside to see it happen. I was glad they were there and honestly my father needed that closure as well. Once they all left. I started the first flame inside my parent's room in the closet, then on the pile of my mother's things, then the whole room was in flames and I watched it. All the anger started to leave my body and I walked out of the house and into my father’s waiting arms. I needed his touch, I needed my daddies warmth and encouraging words to help me calm down. Once I realised him it was time for the rest of the house to go up in flames. No other houses were in danger of catching fire since the houses were pretty far apart from each other so I was good just to dump gasoline all over the house and light it. It was a nice feeling and now I was back normal. I felt a lot better now that was done with. Everything seemed to settle down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, in this chapter, Oliver goes up the attic where a lot of the offensive and inappropriate touching that he uncle did. She get's extremely angry and destroys a lot of it after Petra get's whatever evidence she can to put her uncle away for longer. After that, she gets the okay to set the house on fire since it would be contained. The firefighters would be there in case of something going wrong. Her father and Annie were there to watch just have to go back to the hospital.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole time I thought I didn't have a chapter to upload and that I had to make a new one... I had chapter ten done like three weeks ago.. why didn't I ever post it?

It has been a week since I got to let out all my frustrations at my old place. Now I’m completely settled into the dorm, have a part-time job starting in three weeks, and starting my art therapy today… Okay that last one was the one I was most afraid of, but I promised myself to get better and this is step one. I had all my morning classes as the usual, I no longer had dance though with everyone else since I would be doing dance at the college for therapy. I was upset but I understood why. I actually asked Levi to pick out my outfit today since I wanted something different. [ I actually ](https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=228852252) felt really pretty in it so I was going to rock it. Hopefully. I don’t want to jinx myself this early on… I was in the car with Marco, he came to pick me up today. He said I looked really good in it which made me happy. He also said there was a surprise at school waiting for me. Once we got there and park and then got out, I heard a very familiar voice.

“ANNIE,” I screamed out and ran over to her. I hugged close to me and she hugged me back.

“I’m back for good. I’ve got the clear to do everything and I heard from a little birdie that you are going to art therapy!” she said. She wasn’t talking to loud because that’s how she usually is. 

“Yeah I start today,” a lot of people were staring at us, it made me feel a little bit uncomfortable but I had my friends here by my side helping me through this all. Annie took my hand and we walked into the school together smiling and proud. It stopped short though when that group of bullies showed up and decided to fuck with us.

“Oh look it’s emo girl who burned down her house out of anger that her mommy abused her and the cripple girl who was in coma for so long,” the queen bitch -whose name I still don’t know- said and picked up a strand of my hair and then dropped it again. Instead of shrinking back I just stood there trying to keep calm and remember that I am better than her. Hanji said to think that way, that it helps you mentally prepare your mind for stuff like this. 

“Not going to say anything, look even your stupid little friends are getting angry,” the second one said.

“Don’t talk about them like that,” I said in a loud enough voice that they could hear. I was shocked once again at how I managed that. The bullies looked shocked as well to see me act out like this since it was the first time I’ve done that.

“What was that you little emo bitch?” the queen bitch said and took a step forward, coming towards me. Instead of stepping backwards like I normally would I stayed in my position not backing down. Might as well make a stand and show them that I’m changing. I was proud of myself, like extremely proud of myself.

“I’m sick of it,” I simply stated.

“I’m sick of all the shit you’ve put my friends through and I’m sick of being treated like shit as well,” I managed out without stuttering which was a big plus for me.

“Wow she has guts now,” she replied with and raised her fist at me. All I could picture was my mother hit me and beating me once again. Over and over the memory played in my head. Her hurting me so much… 

“Step away from miss. Clear, miss. Nai,” the principle said and got in between us.

“Miss. Nai my office, miss. Clear go to the dance room,” he instructed. Annie pulled me away. I was still in a haze and could feel my chest getting tighter and tighter as I was pulled into the dance room where Minzy and Taemin were setting up for class. 

“What happened?” Minzy asked, at least I think she asked that… Everything was becoming more and more distant and fading.

Armin**

“Flashbacks,” I said and sat beside her. I held her close to me as she let out a choked sob. Annie was on the other side of her holding her hand and rubbing small circles on back of it.

“Emily Nai tried to hit her,” Eren said in a pissed tone.

“I see,” Taemin said and frowned deeply. He was upset by this, you could tell and not much upsets Minzy and Taemin.

“Hey, Oli, she’s gone alright. She won’t be coming near you,” Annie cooed. Oliver relaxed a bit and her breathing steadied out. The principle had made his way into the room to check up on us all. He stood there quietly as Annie managed to calm Oliver down enough to the point Oliver was breathing steadily and didn’t look paniced. She had her eyes peacefully closed as she leaning into me. Annie always managed to calm her down the best, Levi tying with her and then Marco, Mikasa and I after that. 

“Oliver, are you alright now? Miss. Nai has been suspended for a week after the actions that she displayed towards you and the other students,” the principal spoke in a calm voice. Oliver nodded with her eyes still closed as she listened the principal speak.

“I’m very proud of you Oliver for sticking up for your friends. Keep it up, you’re doing amazing. I’m going to go now. Get to class and remember that Levi Ackerman is coming to pick you up for therapy before lunch,” he walked out of the room and Oliver stood up. I held onto her as she wobbled a bit but managed to stable herself out. We walked out of the music room after getting some water into her and off to class.

 

Oliver**

I felt stupid for freezing like that when Emily -Yeah I finally know her name and remember it- went to swing at me. I was relieved to find out she was suspended and that I wouldn’t have to deal with her this whole week and part of next. I was waiting out front with the others for Levi to show up and get me for this art therapy thing. I was still iffy on it but I was going to try it. Once Levi pulled up I got in. I said by to everyone and we drove off. Levi held my hand with one of his hands and the other was on the steering wheel.

“How was your day so far Ol?” he asked. I was hoping he wasn’t going to ask that but I knew he was going to. I didn’t want to tell him what happened with Emily but I didn’t want him finding out through someone else.

“W-Well my day started with getting the surprise that Annie was coming back to school, then sticking up for myself and everyone else… That I panicked because I was almost hit… I just froze and everything got tight… ,” I said and looked down.

“It’s fine love, you have a bad past with it. I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself. It’s one step forward. Did the bitch get suspended?” he asked as he hit a red and light, stopped and kissed me on the forehead.

“Yeah she did. The principal was there to stop her from going through with it,” I said and smiled slightly.

“Well, she got what she deserved love,” he said and started to drive again. It felt nice to be in the car with him. I was calm now and wasn’t always overthinking everything. I felt good despite what happened today and I wanted to keep feeling good. I liked this feeling. Once we got into the parking lot the nervousness started to build up again.

“You’ll be fine. I have your change of clothing in the back. You won’t like it since it’s not long sleeve but it’s part of the course. By stepping out of your comfort bubble you will slowly begin to come to terms with what has happened in the past,” Levi said. The shirt not being long sleeve was actually a really bad scary thought to me because I felt like my arms were so ugly. I didn’t wrap them anymore since they were all healed and everything was good with them… But the scares always made me feel stupid and ugly. I always had them covered…

“Can I wear the sweater until I’m ready to take it of. I have it off by the end of the class but right off the bat… Levi I don’t think I can do that…” I felt stupid for disappointing him but at the same time it was for my own comfort so I was selfish.

“That’s fine love. Do what you feel right, starting off with the sweater is fine,” he reassured me and I felt a bit better than I did before. He got the clothing for me and we walked into the school. 

“You still have you key card I made you at the art studio right?” he asked me and looked at me. I nodded and pulled it out of my bag. It was a comfort thing for me to have and reminded me that I was welcome there so I always had it with me.

“Good now you don’t need a new one,” he said and smiled at me. We walked into the dance room where it was all held and he passed me the [ clothing ](https://www.polyvore.com/oliver_clear/set?id=228990605) to me. He walked me towards the teacher and greeted him.

“Levi, is this Oliver?” he asked and looked at me. I felt like I was being judged but I knew that I was being an idiot for it.

“Yeah, she starts today,” Levi said and put his hand on my shoulder in a reassuring way. It made a little more calmer to be here.

“Alright, I’m Dot Pixis, but you can call my Pixis. I’m the overseer of this. I’ve been informed that you are a very talented young child. You dance, draw, sing, play multiple instruments, and act. Is this all true?” he asked me. How the hell did he find this all out…? I never told Levi about all that. 

“I called your father so that I could get a better knowledge of what art related things you can do. It will help this go a little smoother,” he said and I calmed down once again. 

“I used to sing, play and do the odd acting in plays but I haven’t done that in a little over two years now. I only draw and dance now,” I said and looked down at the ground beneath my feet.

“Well, I think it’s time you start to pick it all back up. It may help you more than you think Oliver,” Pixis said and gave me a warm smile.

“We’ll start off with dance so got get changed and I will pair you up with someone other than Levi,” he said. I froze at that last statement. I felt my chest tighten and my breath start to go faster as it gets harder to breath. Levi pulled over to the change rooms and stopped in front of them.

“Hey, hey, calm down love. I know you're afraid of working with someone else but it’s the best for you to do so. I’ll be right by you to intervene if something happens. Breath Oliver,” he instructed. I started to breathe in sync with him and I started to calm down.

“I know you can get through this Ol,” he said and hugged me. I wrapped my tired arms around him as he rested his head on my shoulder. I still didn’t want to work with anyone else out of distrust but I knew that I could trust Levi to help me through this if I needed it. 

 

**

After changing in the outfit and putting a sweater over top (If you guessed Erwin's college sweater you get a point towards well nothing actually but you still get a point), I was paired up with a sweet looking girl who’s name was Krista. She seemed really nice but I still didn’t trust anyone with my personal information as to why I’m the way I am towards everything. After a while though I managed to tell her about some of the bullying that happened all the time. It was hard but with the help of Levi who was watching on the sideline giving me encouraging nods and small smiles I managed.

Krista talked to me about different ways to prove the bullies wrong and the best way was to show them up in something you know you’re good at and to never listen to them when they say something rude. It was good advice and I was going to try and keep. By the end of my time I was told that I would be doing a freestyle to a song. I managed to take off my, okay well Erwin’s sweater without feeling like I was ugly until it was actually off. I thought everyone was going to stare at my scars and fading bruises but they didn’t. No one even looked at them besides Pixis who was ‘assessing the healing process’. It made me feel a little more at ease about it all. I still hated all the marks on my body, some of them made by my own hands but I was slowly coming to terms with them. After my freestyle was done Pixis walked up to me to congratulate on my progress. Apparently some people don’t even make it to the freestyle part of the therapy right away on the first day of them starting. He said that me already being a dancer helped though since I would do anything just to dance. Levi and I left soon after that. I was told that for my ‘homework’ I would create a dance to ‘A letter to the playground bully’. I listened to it today just before I left I knew what I had to do. Pixis wanted me to how all my emotion that I’ve had bottled up into my dancing. I used to do it and I will do it again. No matter what hurts I will distract myself with dance and music and art and all the things I used to find welcoming. 

“You did amazing Oliver. I’m proud of you,” Levi said as we drove home. I was proud of myself.

“I’m proud of myself. I could have refused this all but I managed to pull myself through and get this far… I still have a long way to go but I’m managing and it’s honestly all because I have you Levi. If I never met you I’d more than likely be dead,” I said and leaned over to kiss his cheek since he was at a red light.

“You’d still be alive. Your friends wouldn’t have let you die Oliver,” he said as the light hit green.

“I’m happy I could help you though Oliver. You’ve helped me just as much though. With my grandmother being so sick, I had no one to really turn to and I was falling back into a bad hole that I couldn’t get out of. When I first bumped into you at the hospital I had just gotten the news that she may never get of there but when I bumped into you I for some reason had an odd feeling that I would be seeing you around that I would be there to help you and that good things were to come of all this. Look at us now, we are strong together Oliver and I want you to know that I won’t hurt you or leave you,” he managed to get out just as we pulled into the parking lot of the dorms. I was shocked to hear all that in a way but at the same time I wasn’t shocked at all. I really love him. I just… there’s no explaining it. I’m in love him and I don’t regret even saying that for a minute. Before we got out I kissed him since I didn’t really trust my voice at the moment. It would be all shaky for the emotions I’m feeling right now. He kissed back instantly. We got out of the car and went inside. We were greeted by Erwin and Hanji who were sitting in the living room working on school work. I actually forgot that I had some booklets I had to get done for the end of the week and groaned.

“Remembered you had booklets to do? Don’t worry I just remember I have a long ass fucking essay to do. I guess we’ll join them once we change and get everything. I agreed with him and said hi to the two in the living room before going and changing into a pair of my jogging pants a tank top and Erwin’s college sweater that soon needed to be washed again since I wore it so damn much. I hope he knows he isn’t getting it back. He’ll have to pry it from my ice cold dead body that will more than likely be holding it for dear life… okay I definitely over exaggerated that and I’m not even sorry. Once I was changed I walked out with my laptop, booklets and backpack. For booklets I have geography, English, History, Science and French. Which means that I no longer actually have to attend those classes, which makes at least a little bit more un-dead on the inside when it comes to school. That’s how our evening was basically spent. When it was time to crash, Levi and I slept in my room. 

“Hey, Levi. I wanted to tell you something before I went to bed…” I said to him as we layed there on the bed under the sheets. I was snuggled up to his side and he had his arm around me.

“What is it Oliver?” he asked before kissing my head.

“I-I… I love you,” I said and hid my face,” I was blushing like an idiot and felt stupid for saying it this early on…

“I love you too Oliver,” as soon as he said that I was smiling like an idiot and still blushing widely. He kissed me and just like that we off to bed. I fell asleep pretty good.


	11. Chapter 11

**Oliver

It’s been a week since I started the therapy classes and I’ve been feeling pretty good about it all. I’ve been spending a lot of time at the art studio working on my dance to show Pixis. Minzy and Taemin were also going to be there so that I could get my dance mark from it so I had a lot riding on this. I was pretty confident in it. Levi helped me with some of it and so did Hanji and Erwin. I see all my friends a lot more now. We’ve officially planned a get together at least once a week where we all just meet up at the bowling alley and hang out. I actually felt motivated to do it all as well. I’m all caught up on my booklets and doing good in my classes. My father is moved into the apartment with Annie. They're only a five-minute walk not even from the dorm, which was good just in case my father needed something. My old shitty car is officially done for. It was sent to the scrap yard two days ago. I wasn’t all that sad to see it go since it was old and I was bound to end up in trouble with it.

Right now [ I was ](https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=228991292) with Krista getting Coffee. We had gotten slightly closer from the therapy classes. This week was all about me dancing and expressing how I felt through movement, also today was the day that I did my dance… Next week we would be focussing more on the musical aspect of it all. I would be playing instruments once again… I didn’t know how I felt about that since it was really only my father, Jude, Marco and Annie who ever heard me play. It was the thing that both Jude and I loved to do together. I also decided that once I was 6 months clean from self hard that I was going to get a tattoo to cover up my scars. I was going to get the wings that Jude wanted to get with me. These wings are a symbol of freedom to Jude and I and it didn’t feel right getting it knowing that I wasn’t free from all the pain yet. To me, it was the right thing to do and Levi agreed with me. 

“I’m so proud of you Oliver,” Krista said and smiled as she drank her coffee, I smiled and took a sip of my coffee before answering her.

“Thanks to you helping me. Thank you, Krista,” I said and took another sip.

“I’m happy I could help,” we entered the dance room and I walked right over to Levi who was waiting for me. Krista picked me up from school today as a bit of a change of routine for me. It wasn’t a bad thing so I didn’t mind. I passed him his black tea and kissed him on the cheek. Krista passed her girlfriend, Ymir her drink and the Pixis his drink. This became a normal thing for us to do on the third day of my coming here. I would always get them all coffees or whatever they drank as a thank you since they technically didn’t have to let me into this program since I’m not a college student. 

“Are you ready for today Oliver?” Pixis asked me and smiled his odd smile. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be since in front of the whole art program students and all…” I said and sighed. This isn’t the first performance I’ve done before so I was used to those but I wasn’t prepared for hate and backlash I could possibly get. 

“I know you’ll do great, your friends will be here to cheer you on,” he said and nodded. I got excited when I heard that since I haven’t danced in front of them in a while.

“Go get ready, I’m excited to see how you do. You have an hour to practice and really tone into your emotions Olive,” he said and walked off with his drink. I closed my eyes and took a soft breath in and the realised it. I was calm now so I quickly went to [ change ](https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=228991636) and practice before my high turned to a low. That’s one thing I noticed if I tried to hard to be happy when I was in a low I ended up in more of a low than I was in before so when I’m in a high I’m basically unstoppable. Being on a high was a good feeling. (A/N for those who thinks she’s on drugs, no she's not it’s just how I’m explaining it. When you in a low you're depressed when in a high you're genuinely happy). Once I was changed, I walked out and Over to Levi who standing there waiting for me with Christa, Ymir, Erwin and Hanji. I was still wearing Erwin’s sweater over my outfit. Don’t worry it was just washed and I won’t be dancing in it.

“I’m never getting my sweater back am I?” he asked. I smiled and shook my head.

“I haven’t decided yet,” I teased and smiled. He knew he wasn’t getting back anytime soon. I hope he didn’t mind though… If he asked for it back then I would probably give it to him but he hasn’t asked yet.

“I still don’t mind at all,” he chuckled.

“Well you better get practicing, you have fifty minutes before your dance. You’re going on last,” Hanji said and ruffled my hair slightly. I nodded and threw it back into a ponytail that sat high on my head. It was a messy pony but I didn’t want it on my face while I was practicing so it would have to do. Things went smoothly from there on out. I hit every move perfectly and I was in total sync with the music. Things started to rough when I realised that I could possibly mess up and fuck up the whole thing and make a fool of myself on stage in front of a lot of people. After my final practice, I was frustrated with myself because as much as I was doing good I needed to be better so that it appeared like I was doing better because I am doing better and I want it to show.

“Oliver just breath. You have a half an hour and I believe in you,” those words that I always hear from everyone help me so much. They keep me going because I know that there are people who support me in whatever it is that I’m doing. It was nice and I loved hearing.

“Thank you, Erwin,” I said and I sat against the mirror with my knees up. I had my arms resting on them with my head pressed against the back of the cool mirror behind me. My breathing was slightly off and I was all sweaty but I managed to steady my breath back out and get up to make my way to the back of the stage where I would wait till it was my turn to dance. I was used to dancing so this wasn’t anything new. The new part was dancing in front a really really big crowd of all the students and teachers in the art programs whether it be dance, vocals, instruments, visual, acting, you name it, they were there watching us. Soon enough it was my turn and just before I went on Levi kissed me good luck and ran to the front of the stage where my father and everyone else was going to be. I had a game plan and that game plan was to show how I feel and make sure I tune into it emotionally so that I get all this frustration out. I walked out and as soon as the music started I lost myself in it and  [ danced ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxFyPYnl0cU) (Credits to the owner of the dance and the video) my heart away.

 

**

After I was finished I walked out feeling good about myself and that I was finally able to get that all out through my dance it was nice and I loved the feeling of being on stage dancing. 

“That was beautiful Oliver. You truly are an amazing dancer. Your friends and family will meet you in the dance room. Go see them. They are all proud of you,”  Pixis said and patted me on the shoulder. I thanked him and basically ran to the dance room. I was still feeling good about it which was a plus. Everything felt good until I ran into the one and only Emily… Yes, the queen bitch from school Emily.

“That’s how you feel about this all, that you can conquer it and forget about it all. You know I’ve never actually seen you dance but… your good. I didn’t know you were in the art therapy course,” she said and looked down.

“Y-Yeah I started it a week ago…” I mumbled and looked down. This is the first time that she’s actually talked to me one on one without calling me names. I wasn’t sure how to handle this.

“Well I really liked it and I’m sorry I’ve put you through all that. I had no idea,” she said, she was also looking down at the ground.

“Why?” was all I could say back to her.

“Why did you do all that to my friends and I? We never did anything to hurt you,” I said to her. I was upset and angry that I’m now just getting an apology and that we had to suffer for so long because of her.

“At first it was a dare… at the beginning of highschool on the first day. It wasn’t supposed to go further than that week but I got so caught up in how people looked at me like I was their queen that I kept doing it. You were so popular in middle school in your pastel clothing that you made work and your brother with his pastel wear. You two were a duo together and if I wanted to be popular I needed you both out of my way so when I got the dare I took it without thinking about how much trauma you were already going through. When I stopped just before your brother died it was because I started to feel bad but then a couple months later people started to pay attention to me and focus on you. I didn’t like it. I let the popularity get to me and I’m so sorry I put you through that,” she said… 

“No matter how many times you say you're sorry it won't ever heal the pain and suffering I had to deal with. Do you know how many times I actually wanted you to beat me to death because I didn’t want to live with your bullying anymore? For me, it’s not a case of forgiving and forget because I’ve gone through too much to forgive and forget. I have scars from myself because I used to think that I deserved every single fucking word you threw at me. The only way to fix it is to not do it anymore. Stop it all together. You want to be popular find a different way than hurting people because as of now, I’ll no longer back to down it and instead I’ll show it all up. I have an ounce of respect for you now since you apologised but that doesn’t mean that I won’t be expecting you go back to how you were,” I said, looking her straight in the eyes. By now I was slightly shaking and I wanted to Levi here to catch me if I fall and to tell me it’s alright and that I have a right to be this way but I was alone with the girl who hurt me so much throughout all of high school.

“I won’t let myself get that way again. You have every right to feel the way you feel and I won’t look down or get angry that you won’t forgive me because I know I was in the wrong this whole time and for the last four years I’ve done so much to you. I’ll leave you alone now. Wednesday when I come back I’ll apologize to your friends. I’m sorry Oliver,” She then walked away and all I felt like doing was screaming and getting my frustrations out. I walked into the dance room still thinking about Emily and all the things she had to say to me. I was so upset and beyond appalled by it all. Pixis was already there talking to everyone so I must have been a couple of minutes.

“What happened?” Levi said and walked over to me quickly. I realised I was shaking when he took my hand in his.

“Emily,” was all I said. Annie was right by my side without a second to spare just after Levi was.

“What did she want?” she asked in a toneless voice.

“She had the audacity to come up to me and apologise for everything that she has done even though she knows all of the damage that we took from her and stupid fucking friends,” I was on the edge of another mental breakdown, I could feel it coming but I knew I had to stay strong and not break down.

“I told her that I’m not the type to forgive and forget and that she put us all through hell. Her fucking reasoning for it was that she wanted to stay popular, she had a dare on the first day of school to tear Jude and apart and she just continued it on. Fuck I’m so upset and angry,” I managed to get out as tears poured down my messy face of makeup. I shaking so badly and I just wanted to scream.

“Oliver look at me. You did the right thing by telling her that but don’t let this consume you. Be the better person and turn your head away from her,” my father said and wheeled himself over to me. He took my free hand in his own and held it. He kissed it and I felt a little bit better from his words.

“Why don’t we do a quick exercise, your friends are welcome to join us. They’ve gone through this with you and it will help them understand this course better,” Pixis said. I nodded knowing that I needed this to calm down. I needed a distraction and I needed on fast.

“We are going to use your voice this time. I want you to pick a song and sing it, throw all your angry and emotions into it like you did with your dance,” once he said voice I was iffy on doing it since I haven’t sung in a while in front of anyone. Erwin, Levi, Hanji, Petra, Krista, Ymir and Pixis have never once heard me sing and that made me nervous but I was so angry and upset that stopped caring quickly and got my phone to look for a song.I managed to find one that I felt fit the moment and was ready.

One by one everyone went till it was my turn. I was still so angry and was ready to get rid of this sinking feeling that was forming in my stomach. I sang ‘Wolf in Sheep's Clothing’ by Set it Off. It fit so well with how I felt towards Emily and I just let it all out. By the end of the song everyone was clapping and I felt a wave of calmness override my body. 

 

**

We all headed out after that. We went to eat and hang out at the bowling alley. I guess that was just something we were used to doing now. I was feeling good about myself and where I stood with everyone. I actually wanted to be with my friends and not dead. I felt more and more like my old bubbly self than I have in a long time.


	12. Chapter 12

So it’s been  a few weeks now and it’s finally the first of December. Which means that it’s officially the first day of the cafe being open, Close to mine and Jude’s birthday and also Levi’s birthday. I was (for once in over three years) actually slightly excited for my birthday. I haven’t done much with it since Jude died. My friends, father and I would always go to his grave. I always wrote him a letter the day before and put it on his grave. I’ll still being doing it but this time There will be four new people joining us. Petra, Erwin, Levi and Hanji have made the biggest impact on my life and for them to not be there would feel horrible. I had this feeling that Jude would want them there. So much has happened within this month… Petra is no longer with her significant other. My father is divorced now, also Petra and my father are a lot closer. Mikasa and Annie are still doing good, Hanji and Armin are doing amazing, Eren and Jean are their normal crazy selves, Marco still helps me with my work despite preparing for bigger things in his life, Levi and I are as close as ever and I still love him so damn much. Emily stuck to her word and apologised to all me and friends at school and since then hasn’t bothered us at all and whenever one of her friends try I stuck to my word and didn’t back down. The panicking still happens, just not as frequent as it used to happen. Krista and Ymir are officially apart of little now large group and hang out with us on a regular bases. They help out with the cafe prep sometimes. Onto the cafe! I have found a passion for cosplaying and an even bigger passion for making the cosplays. Annie also helps out with cafe, she enjoys cosplaying but prefers to be behind the camera taking pictures. So she’s the official photographer for the cafe. Levi, Armin and I work there full time after school and on the weekends. 

The opening week we are doing Tokyo Ghoul. I’ll be serving as Touka Kirishima, Levi as Kaneki Ken, Armin as Ayato Kirishima, Isabel as Rize, Farlen as Outah. I helped Isabel with all the cosplays and picking out the cosplays. We each got to keep the cosplays that were made since they were tailored to our bodies. As of right now I was in the back getting things ready like getting the instant coffee ready and the coffee beans sorted. I was nervous but at the same time super excited. This was my first real job and it was with the people that I care for and love the most. Levi was out in the main area cleaning everything with Isabel. Furlan was with Erwin making sure all the art was still in perfect condition. I had the pleasure of helping Erwin draw all of the art for the cafe which also went towards my therapy course that I’m in. That’s how our morning went.

 

**

Around 10:00 we finally opened the doors. We were all in our cosplays and ready to get to work. As soon as the doors opened there were people coming in and taking pictures of everyone and everything. It was so much fun. My father came in with Petra around noon just after his physical therapy. Petra and my father have gotten so much closer, I actually think they are starting to fall in love and I honestly didn’t have an issue with it. He was still in a wheelchair but he was able to get up and walk around a little bit before his legs gave out on him, so he was definitely getting better.

“Oliver I’m so damn proud of you sweetheart,” he said over and over again. 

“Thank you daddy. I feel amazing. I finally have my life on track and I’m so happy to be where I am today. I mean I still struggle with things but it’s getting easier to handle,” I said and smiled brightly as Levi came over to say hello. 

“Hello Levi, how are you today?” my father asked him.

“I’m doing great. How are you today?” Levi asked back and had a small slightly noticeable smile on his face. 

“I’m doing quite good right now. I’m really proud of you two sticking together through this all. You are very mature young man Levi and I’m thankful to have you with my daughter. Oliver, you are such a mature young lady now,” My father spewed out. Ever since the accident he has been a lot more… sappy… Yeah, that’s the word I’m looking for. I don’t blame him though, he’s nearly died and almost lost everything. He’s been through a lot. Actually, we’ve all been through a lot.

“I couldn’t ever ask for a better significant other than Oliver. She’s amazing. You raised her to be a mature young lady,” Levi replied with. Thankfully we were on a quiet time where not a lot of people were here and the people that were here Isabel was able to attend to with Armin while Levi and I talked with my father. I’m so happy I can make him proud of me. Petra and my father left after having some lunch. It was nice seeing him happy with Petra. I don’t think either of them has fully realized it too much though.

By the end of the day around 8:00 everything was closed up and cleaned. We were now sitting and talking about how the day went.

“Today was a huge success, We hit above our sales and so many people have complimented us!” Isabel exclaimed happily. It made me smile knowing that she as so happy right now. 

“Annie will be here in about fifteen minutes to take pictures for our website and Instagram,” she said still smiling. Annie takes pictures and edits them with Armin’s help for the website and Instagram, Marco also helps out with interior design which I also got to help with. I couldn’t resist some of the stuff that was put in here.

“Alright so onto next week's themes. I was thinking Black Butler but adding a party and a skit to make it more fun. I also really want to start up a YouTube channel for it. The skit can be for the YouTube channel… The channel is optional though and would be later on when everyone has more time. For the cosplays, Oliver, I want you to do Ciel, Levi you're a lot shorter than Sebastian but you can wear platforms right?” Isabel asked and batted her eyelashes. Levi groaned but agreed to wear them. I smiled at the thought of him wearing them and nearly giggled but kept it in earning myself a glare from Levi.  
“Perfect! So I’ll do Lizzie for the ball thing and Mey-Rin for the cafe part. Furlan can do Bard for the cafe and then maybe Aleister for the dance, and finally Armin who I think would be the cutest Finnian ever!” Isabel said and smiled widely. I loved seeing her smile, soon enough we were all smiling and agreeing with her on who should do who.

“I’ll get started on picking the different fabrics and wigs and we can sort them tonight since it won't take long. Ol, if your not busy can you come fabric shopping with me?” Isabel asked. I nodded my head and smiled.

“Sure. We can get everything after the photos. We’ll get our wigs express shipped so we have them in time too. Is this all covered by the cafe sales?” I asked and looked at Furlan who nodded at me and smiled. I smiled back and nodded once.

“For the dance which cosplays are we doing? Same with for the cafe?” I asked.

“Well I was thinking you could do Lady Phantomhive for the party and then grey outfit Ciel for the cafe part, Levi would be Sebastian for both, just for the part a more upscale Sebastian, I will be Lizzie for the party and then Mey-Rin for the cafe and as previously started  Armin as Finnian for the cafe and Finnian in a suit or something for the dance, Furlan will be Aleister for the dance and then Bard for the cafe. We’ll need two outfits per person which means a lot of work and fabric. If we don’t get them done in time then we will be doing Tokyo Ghoul again,” she said and started to write it all down. Everyone agreed and we all started to come up with patterns as we waited for Annie to show up. She came about five minutes later and we started to take photos of everyone.

“So how was the first day?” she asked and took so photos.

“It was a lot of fun. I was surprised that so many people showed up and asked for photos. It was amazing. Annie, I was truly happy today,” I said and did a different pose.

“That’s great Oliver. I’m glad you had such a great day,” she said as she took more photos. Soon enough we were finished with the photos and all packed up. Isabel and I set off for the fabric stores in the next town over while everyone else went back to Isabel and Furlan’s place. While Isabel and I shopped, Marco and Erwin would be working on patterns, Levi and Armin would be helping Annie edit all the photos, Hanji and Furlan would be working on money stuff and Mikasa and Eren said they’d help as well with prop making which in turn got Jean on board who would be helped with the sewing.Everyone seemed so happy. Everyone had a job work on so we were all busy doing stuff. It would help us get everything done faster. Tomorrow if we get everything cut and pinned tonight Isabel, Jean and I would start the sewing before and after work. Jean would help when he wasn’t busy working at the bowling alley that he got hired at with Marco’s help. 

“So how are things, Oliver?” Isabel asked me as she drove out of the town. It was only seen thirty so we still a lot of time to get the things and make it back within two hours. 

“Really good. I’m doing so much better now and I’m actually able to focus on the good instead of the bad. Therapy helps a lot but there are times where I can’t be bothered to do anything but lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling which is apparently normal in the healing process,” I said and looked out the window.

“Well, you're doing amazing. I can that and I’m proud to call you my friend Oliver. You’ve changed a lot and I’ve only known you for about a month and a half or two. You’ve helped Levi so much and I still thank you everyday for that,” she said as she drove. I smiled.

“Thank you Isabel. I’m really glad you can call me your friend,” I said. It didn’t take us much longer to get the fabric and then head back to Isabel’s. By the time we got back all the patterns were finished. We washed and dried all the fabric before cutting and pinning them. I was going to be doing my cosplays and Levi’s cosplays and Isabel was going to be doing her cosplays, Furlan’s cosplays and one of Armin cosplays. Jean said he would do the detailing for them all since it was easier for him to get done. By the end of the night we were done all the pinning and just had to get to sewing. I loved having so many people working on different things, it’s how we got everything done faster. Tomorrow I would start my sewing during my therapy since I asked Pixis about it. He agreed saying that it could be a form of help and it truly was. I was able to focus on that instead on the bad. He said that since I started working for the cafe that I was a lot more focused and able to put aside the bad and think of the good which is a big difference from when I first started. 

 

**

By the time we got everything cleaned and packed up, it was around 11:00 PM and I was extremely tired which is weird since I normally don’t feel tired or can’t sleep.We got home ten minutes later and ended up going straight to bed, I even fell asleep without the medication the doctor gave me.

 

**

The next day I woke up the next day curled into a ball on Levi’s bed to the sound of the shower in his room going and figured he was in it. I slowly opened my eyes to the darkness of the room and no Levi which confirmed that he was in the show. I looked at the clock and sighed when it read 7:00 AM. I had school at 9 so I had time to actually get up and get ready. I got out of the bed and went to my room to shower and changed. After  [ I was ](https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=231580766) finished I walked into the living room where Hanji, Erwin, Levi and surprisingly Jean and Annie were seated.

“Morning,” I said and hugged Jean and Annie who both hugged back. Levi stood up and passed my completed booklets to put in my bag that was beside Jean. I put them away and thanked him as he then passed me a warm cup of coffee. Apparently, I was better at learning through visual, experience and booklets with the help from Levi, Erwin, Hanji and Marco. My teachers never really do hands-on experience to teach. They just use bland words and fill in the blanks despite teaching angsty year three teenagers who like to move around a lot and get the hands-on experience. The only classes that actually use hands-on experience are dance, art, drama and music. Besides those courses, my school is shit at teaching children who thrive off of the experience.

“How are the booklets coming along?” Jean asked looking at me.

“Great. I’m done the geography and history. I have three left for French, 2 for science and 1 for maths. I’m better at this than I thought I was. Booklets I guess are easier for me to do since I don’t have teachers crawling down spin and being a hawk. Okay well, I have Erwin who is the hawk but like that’s different. I don’t get anxious around him… I’m thankful for Levi, Marco, Erwin and Hanji for helping me,” I said and took another sip from my coffee, letting it spill down my throat that welcomed the bitter yet good dark substance. Ahhh yes, the amazingness of black coffee with a little bit of pumpkin spice in it!

“Give yourself more credit brat. You did 95% of the geography alone without any help,” Levi said, despite being called a brat it didn’t bother me at all since I knew he meant in an endearing way, not an insult. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek with a small smile on my face.

“I love seeing you happy Ol, it’s been a while,” Annie said with a small smile on her face.

“I swear if any of you hurt her or Armin at all…” Jean said tensing up at just the thought of it.

“Jean, they won’t hurt us,” I said and put my hand on his shoulder. He slowly relaxed and I smiled. He’s always been protective Jude and I. It amplified when Jude died and amplified even more after that when he found out that my mother was abusing me, then when Annie and my father went into the hospital. I guess that since I’m not around as much he feels like he failed at protecting me so I left… That’s not the case though, I could never really truly leave my group of friends.It all started out with Jean, Annie, Marco, Jude and I, then Armin, Mikasa and Eren wiggled their way in and ever since it’s all of. We had each others back and when my brother died we were there for each other. Our large group of eight became one less person making it seven and it was really scary because we were always all together. Then when Annie was hospitalized it became even smaller we were all dying on the inside but together we kept each other alive. If anything I failed them but shutting myself out from them when we all needed each other the most. They kept me alive long enough to meet Levi which I’m thankful for. Levi was right, they’d never let me die through some selfish way such as suicide. I was stupid for ever even thinking about it. If not for those six amazing people I would be dead with my brother. I wouldn’t have met the love of my life and added on so many amazing people into my life. I’m thankful for each and every person who has helped me this far. Snapping me out of my thoughts was Annie saying that we had to leave so that we wouldn’t be late for class. 

“We should get going now,” she said and looked at her phone for the time. I nodded and finished my drink. I put it in the kitchen to wash later since I had to go right to the cafe after therapy. I walked to the door and gave Levi and kiss on the cheek, Hanji and hug and just before I gave Erwin a hug he passed me his sweater. I smiled brightly as I put it on over my long sleeve and then hugged him. I grabbed my bag that Jean was holding up and we left.

 

**

Once we got to the school I went and handed in all my booklets to their respective teachers and got the rest of them and my current up to date marks. Apparently, I was in the low 90’s for geography and history, high 80’s for French, English, and science and low 70’s for maths which I struggle with the most. Maths can just go suck ass for all I care. It’s not like I need it dance or cosplay. I know my simple maths like adding, subtracting, multiplication and division. In all my other classes such as dance, music (Instrumental), music (Vocal), visual art and drama at in the high 90’s. I never actually thought that I would be able to actually achieve those kind of grades since Jude passed away. I have so much potential and yet I never thought I did because I was always talking down about myself instead of believing myself. I still thank everyone for supporting me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, everyone... Don't hate me for being so late with this. I actually had a full chapter written down in a little book because when I'm in the fitting room I get bored. Well, I managed to somehow misplace the book that had the chapter in it. I just found it a while ago and have been editing it a lot. So here you are. This is just a filler chapter but I will have another one out soon hopefully.


	13. Chapter 13

It’s been a week now since my grades have been getting a lot better, working at the Cafe has been going smoothly, all of the cosplays that we are doing this week are done. We decided that it’s easier to do the theme for a month instead of a week. According to Pixis soon enough I won’t need to be in the therapy course since I’ve been doing so well which kind of makes me fear the aftermath of when I’m done it since… I’ve had a rough day yesterday when I realized that my and Jude’s birthday was approaching fast and that it would be in four days… that day nearly ended all my progress. I was thankful for Krista who actually distracted me by taking me to the mall instead of going to therapy. It was a breath of fresh air since I needed a break. Now I’m just waiting for Hanji to pick me up since Levi was doing something.

“You know what… I hate the cold…” Armin burst out.

“AGREED,” we all said in unison.

“The cold sucks. Why does it have to be a thing?” Marco groaned and sighed.

“Because mother nature hates us all,” Jean growled. We all burst out laughing as Hanji pulls up to the school.

“Oh right Liv, I’m coming to college with you this time. I’m getting extra volunteer hours there,” Marco said and smiled as he opened the passenger door for me to get in. I said alright, bye to everyone and got in. Marco got into the back seat and we headed out.

“So how’s your day so far Ollie,” they asked, smiling as they drove to the college.

“Pretty good I just handed in the last of my Maths and Science booklets,” I said and smiled. One more booklet for French then I have all my credits for those and I’ll be able to graduate on time if not early. I was told that I could continue doing booklets into my final year and I was thankful for that because I don’t think I’d be able to actually focus in the classes... I’ve decided that I would start them once exams are over for our first semester. Next semester since I decided to do all my booklets for my third year I only have electives which will work out great for me since I’ll only have morning classes again. The same thing will go for my last year since I’m doing all my booklets for the mandatory classes. I really like it like this. We stopped off at the cafe to get coffees and then headed over to the college. Once there we all got out. We walked inside and I spotted Levi standing there with a box in his hand talking to Pixis. He looked over and waved us over.

“Hello Liv,” he said and passed me the box. I gave him a look of confusion and cocked my head to the side slightly.

“Levi… What’s with the box?” I asked still looking at him. He chuckled and told me to open it. I looked down at the black lightweight box and removed the lid from it. My eyes widened to see plane tickets to Paris, France laying neatly in the box on top of some pastel blue tissue paper. That’s cute combining our favourite colours!

“Levi…” I trailed off still looking at the tickets with wide eyes.

“My grand-mere wants to go back to Paris for a while and talk to my parents… She brought up, bringing you and your friends to stay at one of the resorts my family owns there. I agreed and asked your father who also agreed with me. Are you up for it?” he asked, he looked a little nervous but at the same time, he was calm and composed.

“Are you sure you want me to come? I mean… won’t I just get in the way?” I asked and looked at him. He frowned and looked at me.

“You're never in the way Oliver. My mother wants to meet you, she’ll feel the same way about you never being in the way alright?” he said. The only thing I could think of doing is hugging him and so I did. I hugged him close to me and didn’t let go. I was honoured to be able to meet Levi’s mother since he has such a close relationship with her. His father on the other hand… I’ve heard that when they communicate it’s usually through yelling or foot to gut (Levi’s father being the foot that connects with Levi’s gut) When I first heard that I was so angry that I nearly called him and cursed him out.

“I’d love to come with you but what about school and the cafe... ?” I asked and pulled away from the hug.

“Well Isabel and Farlan are coming as well, so is Hanji and Erwin. The cafe will be closed for the three weeks we are gone. You only have one booklet for French and your excelling in the rest of your classes so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. As for sewing for the cafe? That will all be covered since we decided to do the cosplays for a whole month,” He explained to me and I could already feel myself getting emotional. God, I love this boy.

“Your father and Petra already agreed that it’s time for a vacation and are willing to talk to your principal about it. Annie would be coming since she lives with your father and Armin is coming because well, Hanji is going and you might be going. Everyone else can be asked later. We don’t have to worry about costs since we have a private plane, everyone,” He finished off and I just hugged him again.

“I’d be honoured to go with you Levi. A break sounds amazing right now,” I whispered and smiled. He hummed and held me close to him.

“Let’s get this show on the road. I’ll be letting you both out early since you have to get to work early for prep,” Pixis said. I pulled back from Levi and nodded at Pixis. He then pulled the two of us to the side to discuss my last day of therapy and what would be happening next. Which I’m not going to lie… I was afraid to think about.

 

*

It was now 4 and Levi and I was at the cafe getting things ready for our shift to start. I was officially in Ciel since it was the start of the Black Butler month which was only happening for a week and a half because we were officially going on vacation. We would be getting back into Black Butler after we get back mid-January though. Once Levi and I were done we walked out. We’d be waiting to the grand opening ball until after vacation so we didn’t have to worry about that. I was taking orders and then passing them to Levi who was making them. A lot of people loved the cosplays and I couldn’t help but feel even more proud of myself. There were about fifteen minutes left before we had to close down the cafe when two police officers came in. At first, I thought they were just here to check it out and see how we were doing and maybe get something to drink but when I finished taking someone's order and handed it to Levi they approached me causing me to tense right up.

“Are you Oliver Clear?” the tallest one asked.

“Yes, this is she. Do you need me for something?” I asked trying to keep my voice steady. I could feel my chest start to get tight. What if my mother and uncle got out? What if something happened to my father? What if something really bad happened?

“Yes may we speak to you in private?” the shorter one asked.

“Is it urgent?” I asked, my voice finally giving way and my vocal cords started to feel strained.

“It’s not urgent Miss. Clear. We can wait,” the tallest said.

“Alright. We close in fifteen minutes,” I said and walked away. I walked into the back let it out. My chest went tight and I my vision started to go blurry. Everything went blank and I felt the sickness sink in.

“Hey, hey, Liv… Look at me,” it was Armin. I recognized his voice. I looked at the blurry image of my best friend and he sank me to the floor to sit.

“Breathe. In and out Liv,” he cooed.

“T-The police… wh-what do they want?” I cried out.

“There probably just going to ask you questions about how you're doing. Breathe Liv. I'm here, Levi is behind the counter. Isabel and Farlan won't let anything bad happen to you. Breathe, you’ve got this,” Armin said and managed to calm me down enough to actually get to work for the last few minutes of my shift. Finally, it was closing time and walked over to Levi who just finished wiping the countertops. He put his cloth down and kissed my cheek.

“Go sit with them, I’ll go get you are all some tea. I’ll get all of our things together and we’ll just change when we get home. You can take your meds now or later your choice,” he said and glanced at police who were talking about something unknown to us.

“I’ll take them after I’m done with the officers. Thanks, Levi. I love you,” I kissed his cheek and walked over to the table where the officers sat. I took a seat and the officers greeted me once more as to which I greeted them back this time trying to keep more calm about it.

“Hello, Miss. Clear, It appears that your mother would like to see you and your father sometime soon,” The tallest officer said.

“I have the right to refuse right?” I asked the officers calmly. Levi came over with the teas and set them all down. I could feel the panic settling but I wasn’t going to let it win. I wasn’t going to let this ticking time bomb inside of me explode just yet. I had too much going for me now.

“Yes you do,” the second one said, taking a sip of his tea.

“Then I’d like to refuse to see her. She put me into situations that have now scared me. I’m just getting over some of these things and I’m not going to risk a relapse because of her. Sorry officers,” I said and sipped from my glass as well.

“We understand Miss. Clear. I’m glad you're putting yourself first now,” the first officer said. We chatted about random things after while we both drank our tea. They brought up mine and Levi’s relationship and the age factor since he was legal and I wasn’t (A/N: I’m using Canadian legal ages and what not since I am Canadian and I’m just more comfortable with that since I know more about it) but when I said that there was consent from both my father and lawyer. They were both fine with it after that. It was nice talking to them about things that were going on in my life since they actually sounded interested in it. Once they finished their tea, they left and we locked the doors. I let out a sigh of frustration and Isabel came right over to me and wrapped her arms around me like a protective sister.

“You alright Livvie?” she asked and rested her head on top of my own.

“I’ll be fine. I won’t let this kill me slowly. I’m much better than that now,” I smiled and turn around into the hug. She was almost as comforting as Levi was.

“Good! I knew you’d overcome it! Come on, let’s go sit with everyone else. I have an Idea I want to pitch to you all,” She said and walked over with me to where everyone sat. Levi was slapping Farlan on the leg because he was sitting on the newly washed counters that Levi washed and disinfected, Armin was laughing with Farlan and so was Marco who joined us for a shift to help out. I sat down next to Armin who just put his arms around me hugging me and I did the same. After hugging, Armin left his arm around my shoulders and we rested our heads to together. We have an amazing bond and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Can I go put Erwin’s sweater on first? I’m cold,” I said and looked at Isabel with puppy eyes. I’m always cold.

“I’ll get it. Maybe then Levi will stop beating me up!” Farlan said and got off the counter.

“If you wouldn’t sit on the counters I /just/ cleaned then there wouldn’t be a problem now would there Farlan,” Levi shot back as Farlan came out with my, I mean Erwin's maroon coloured college sweater that I always had with me. I don’t know why I love Erwin’s sweater so much I just kind of do. I remember trying to wear Levi’s sweater while Erwin’s was in the wash but it didn’t feel the same, the same happened with Hanji’s sweater. I just really liked Erwin’s sweater. I was brought out of my thoughts when Isabel mentioned something about a YouTube channel named Little Titan’s Official. Apparently, some people who became regulars from the Cafe said it would be a good idea to look in to. She asked what we all thought and I smiled.

“I don’t mind. I mean like… Why not. We work so hard on our stuff and I think we need a little more credit for it all,” I said and shrugged as Armin’s arms were back around me. My sweet sweet best friend. Everyone agreed with me but Levi who was still on the fence about it. He really wasn’t one for public displays.

“Fine… As long as you guys are happy with it, I could get used to it,” Levi grumbled before slapping Furlan’s leg again since he hopped back up on the counter. I had a huge smile on my face and I was so happy that he agreed.

“Perfect! I talked to Annie and Marco bout it already, they both sad they would do the editing because they will both be pursuing filmography and editing. Since Annie is on her way and we are still in cosplay we could maybe film in a group intro?” she asked hopefully. I smiled and nodded. I didn’t mind, it was only 8 and I wasn’t tired.

“Let’s think of a catchphrase to say,”

“What about ‘Heyo we are Little Titan’s Official!’ or something like that, then go on with our individual names and roles,” Armin suggested. Armin still had his arms around me and I still had my head rested against his.

“That’s a good idea,” Furlan agreed. I smiled and agreed as well. By the time Annie came we were all ready and had what we were going to say and in what order we were going to say it. Once everything was set up and we were ready we started.

“Heyo, what’s up we are Little Titan’s Official!” We said all synced together.

“I’m Furlan,” he said and did a little head bow and had a charming smile on his face.

“I’m Isabel,” she said and waved with a bright smile on her face.

“I’m Marco,” he said with a small wave and small smile on his face.

“I’m Armin,” he said in an excited tone with a shy but big smile on his face.

“I’m Levi,” he said with small half smile and nod.

“I’m Oliver,” I said did a half wave and small peace sign.

“We are all a part of the Little Titan’s cafe crew! It’s a themed cafe where each month we dress up as different characters from anime and video games. We hope to put out awesome content for you all!” Isabel said.

“This month's theme is Black Butler! I’m Bard,” Furlan exclaimed.

“I’m Mey-Rin,” Isabel.

“I’m Finnian,” Armin.

“I’m Sebastian,” Levi.

“I’m human form Pluto,” Marco.

“And I’m Ciel,” me.

“We hope you enjoy our new channel,” Armin said linking arms with me.

“Stay happy and be who you want to be,” I said linking mine with his as well.

“Bye bye for now,” We all said. That was when I cued Annie to keep the camera rolling since I was going to tell them that we were going Paris.

"Also stayed tuned because guess what guys!! WE'RE GOING TO PARIS FOR THREE WEEKS!" then the camera was cut off and everyone started to freak out besides Levi, Hanji, Erwin, and Furlan. After talking about Paris we were finally able to get home. I took off my wig and put in the bag. I got changed quickly hanging my stuff for work up, before leaving with Levi who had done the same as me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a short chapter compared to the rest of them and I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to add to this chapter.


	14. Chapter 14

Four days later and here I am feeling like absolute shit… I’m officially 17 while my brother is forever stuck at the age of 15 because of an accident that I couldn’t prevent. It was school day but I couldn’t bring myself to even get out of Levi’s bed. He was already up and in the shower getting ready for the day. I just wanted to sit and cry for my brother to come to me. I wrote his letter last night and I had a bad mental break down. It took me three hours to come out of it. I felt bad for Levi and the others who had to deal with it all the time.

“Sweetheart, come on it time to get up and get dressed,” Petra said coming into the room. I didn’t respond and just continued to lay there before sighing and sitting up. Petra came and sat on the bed beside me. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I hugged her back as more tears fell. I was so close to my brother and all I felt guilty because I was happy without him beside me even though he would have wanted me to be happy.

“I miss him so much, it hurts knowing that I can’t be by his side right now. I’m finally happy but I feel so guilty because he isn’t happy with me,” I sobbed.

“He is happy just knowing that you are happy Oliver. I know it’s hard but I also know that you can get through this, now come on. Go shower, everyone called into today like they always do apparently so they’ll be here in a half an hour,” Petra said. I nodded and got up. I made my way to my room that I barely used and got ready for my shower. I played some BigBang as I showered and even sung along to some of the songs, considering I’ve been learning Korean for three and half years. Once I was finished I got changed into a pair of black ripped jeans, an off the shoulder white short sleeve top and Erwin's sweater I pulled my hair in a high messy bun. I wasn’t the mood for making myself look any more presentable than I had to. We were going to celebrate my birthday tomorrow by going bowling after the cafe was closed. I walked into the living room a half an hour later and went right over to my dad and hugged him.

“Everything will be fine sweetheart. We’ll get through it like we always do,” he cooed and held me close to him. I didn’t say anything back to know but he knew that I knew that it would be alright. We have support from others to help us through this.

“Let’s head out. Do you all have your letters for Jude,” Petra asked us all. We all nodded and I got up from hugging my father. Levi slipped his hand into my right one while Annie was on the left side. Petra rolled my father over to the elevator that we never used and pressed the button. We met them downstairs and made our way to the car. I was surprised to see Jude’s old car there and right away wanted to drive it. I walked over to the beat up, old, shitty car that I grew to love. My father rolled up beside me and passed me the keys. I was glad that I always kept my driver's license on me know. I unlocked the car and smiled sadly remembering all the things that happened in this car. Jude and I used to sneak out all the time in it and very rarely got caught. When we did get caught my father just laughed it off with us. My mother was the hardass all the time. Always yelling and threatening to beat our asses if we caused any more trouble. 

“I want to drive it alone… I always do,” I mumbled.

“Alright. Sweetheart. Don’t run off this time,” my father said and wheeled away. I frowned.

“Are you sure?” Levi asked. He cared and it made my heart melt to hear him to heartbroken.

“Yeah. I do it every year. It’s my time to think. Normally I run off somewhere after though…” I trailed off.

“Please don’t. I worry about you,” he actually sounded desperate and sad, it made me want to hug him and never let go but this was something I had to…

“I’ll try not to,” I whispered.

“Follow my dad down with Annie. I’m making a pit stop,” I said. I smiled weakly at him and got into the car. I could feel the tears want to start to run down my face but I put my brave face on and waited till everyone was ready to leave. I made sure everyone left before driving off on my own. I needed to go see how my mother was coping. I know I said I never wanted to see her again but I was informed that she was moved to a mental hospital where she was going to stay for a long time. She was morning the loss of her only son even if she hated me, she needed at least someone to check on her and I knew for a fact my father wouldn’t. He has Petra now and was finally moving on. I however wasn’t completely moved on from everything that happened but she did birth me. I failed her as a daughter already and I don’t want to make it worse on her by ignoring her for life. I drove my way to the hospital where I met up with a police officer who was going to be my escort in and out of the hospital. On the way to the hospital I picked up some flowers so I got those out of the car. I was a little ball of Anxiety just waiting to blow again but I knew for my mental sake I had to do this. Even after all the shit she put me through… The officer guided me through the halls after checking and signing in. We made it to a room where there was a glass wall. Almost like there was in Prison when you got to visit those who were locked away for crimes they had committed. I was seated at the largest one since I was the only one coming to see someone at this moment. I sat down in the sat chair shaking slightly, I was thankful that Petra made me take my anxiety meds this morning. She knew I was going to be here and wanted to come with me since she is still for all intents and purposes my lawyer but I declined. I needed to do this alone. I waited for them to bring in my mother which made me even more anxious since it was taking a while. Finally the door opened from the other side of the glass and in came my mother with two guards behind her. My mother looked like a mess… I felt guilty for doing this to her but I know she deserves this for what she did. I failed as a daughter. My mother looked at me and snarled oddly. I tried not to flinch back but failed.

“Hello mother,” I said through the mic. 

“Why the hell are you here. It’s your fault,” she screamed. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t give this woman the satisfaction of her seeing it. I knew that was what she wanted, she wanted to see me cry and scream out for help again.

“You hurt me,” I replied with.

“It’s your fault your brother is dead,” she snapped.

“No it’s not. It was a drunk driver. Stop saying it’s my fault. The same with my dads and Annie’s accident. I’m sick of it. I came here because I knew this would hit you just as hard as it’s hitting me and dad. Jude has been gone two fucking years now. Jude was your little pride and joy. You may have been a piece of shit mother but you still birthed me and I didn’t want to become any more a of a failure of a daughter then I already am,” I said through tight teeth not letting her get completely under my skin. I was going to be going on vacation soon and I didn’t want her to hinder my mood even more than it already was. She just growled after that and hit the glass that stood between us. It made me flinch and remember back to when she used to always hit and kick me.

“I think that’s enough for today. Leave the flowers we’ll put them in her room,” the security guard said and they literally had to drag my raging mother out of the room. I felt so stressed and useless at that moment but I had a place to be and that was at my brothers grave where I would give him my letter.

 

**

After leaving the hospital I drove to the grave site where I had to pull over a few times because my tears threatened to spill over and I really didn’t want to get into an accident, not when I actually had people who loved me who were waiting for me. I arrived and parked the beat up car beside Levi’s shiny black car. This car sucks but it’s still my brothers baby, he put a lot of saved up money into this car. Once I was out and the door was locked Levi engulfed me in a tight hug. I really need his embrace right now so I hugged him back and let them fall.

“I went to see her,” I whispered. I thought he would be mad and yell at me but instead, he just held me tighter than before and I never wanted him to let go. I love this boy, he defused the time bomb that what just waiting to happen in my mind. He’s my rock.

“I’m just glad you're alright. You were a while and I was scared when I couldn’t reach you on your cell phone,” he whispered keeping me close to him. 

“I’m safe and sound right now,” I said. We pulled back much to my dislike and made our way over to everyone who all gave me hugs. I walked up beside my dad was sitting in his wheelchair right in front of Jude’s grave. I hated seeing him cry and on any normal day I would try to stop him at all costs but today was different Instead I collapsed beside him on the cold wet snowy ground and sobbed. We sobbed together while the others could do anything to stop us. They wouldn’t do anything to stop us due to the fact that I would probably snap. I just wanted to be held and let myself cry so much till I couldn’t cry anymore. Annie was the first one to step towards us and get on the ground with me. She held me as I had my mental break down. I didn’t scream, that would come later, it always came later when I went to the little private gym where the boxing bag was my best friend until I went to the dead centre of the forest and screamed until I couldn’t anymore. Of course, no one knew about those parts. No one knew that I when I skipped town the day after Jude died I went and released all my anger out on that hanging bag.

After calming down enough to get my letter and place in the slot where we put them I just sat there on the ground. My butt was frozen but I didn’t care. I remember back to what my letter said.

 

_ Dear Jude _

_ I miss you a lot. Fuck I still can’t believe that it’s been two years since you’ve been gone. We are officially 17 today. I found someone I really love Jude. I mean a lot. He can be an asshole but to me and my friends, he’s a sweetheart. His name is Levi. He’s helped me so much. I’m finally finding who I am again. I may never be 100% but around him, I always feel like I’m at my best. Then there is Hanji and Erwin. I adore those two as well. Hanji is someone I can always rely on. Armin and Hanji are dating which I find really cute! Erwin is like the older brother that we never had. He is very caring and reminds me of you. His eyebrow game would beat yours any day though. I started Dance and art therapy where I met Krista and Ymir. Both are very sweet people who helped me through my therapy sessions since I wasn’t allowed to with Levi during it. Isabel and Furlan are two amazing people who are like siblings to Levi. Isabel also reminds me of your crazy side. I love watching them interact with Levi. I started to cosplay and work at a themed cafe that Isabel and Furlan own. We have Youtube now and apparently, it’s doing really good with only one video up. I’m slowly finding myself with the help of my new companions and I love them all. It will never be the same without you but I will always love you Jude.  _

 

_ Forever and Always _

_ Oliver Clear _

 

I cried so much writing that letter but I know I needed to make this positive and think about my future. Everyone put their letters down and we just stood there. No one wanted to move so no one made a move. Levi kept his arms around me just in case I collapsed again and honestly I just wanted to be held. Everyone was crying but Hanji, Petra, Erwin and Levi, not because they didn’t care but rather because they never met Jude and where comforting us all. It was sweet of them to help us out. They’ve done so much and I will always be thankful for them.

“Can I have a minute with Levi here?” my voice was just above a whisper, I couldn’t be bothered to make it any louder. Without a word, everyone cleared out. I went right up to my brothers grave and kneeled out. Levi followed in pursuit.

“You would have liked him. He’s opposite of you but you would have still liked him. He was so sweet and caring. My brother was my life,” I said and put my shaking cold hand on his gravestone. Levi wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on top of my own.

“You know that letter you gave me. He said some pretty amazing stuff about you. I had no idea you did anything close to parkour without getting hurt. Your brother really loved you and you were his world as he was yours. You're not going through this alone anymore Oliver. I’ll make sure of it. I love you so much,” Levi said. My face started to heat up at the mention of parkour which something that my brother and I often competed in.

“Yeah Jude and I regularly used to compete in local challenges or just do it for the hell of it. My brother always pushed me to do my best in things that were out of my comfort zone so when he died I lost so much of my confidence. I haven’t done any type of parkour since he’s died,” I said. 

“Jude… hah look at this I’m still a mess even after everything I’ve gone through with you. Things are getting better, it’s slow but it’s still progress. Levi here helps through everything and I love him a lot for that,” I said. My eyes were blurry with tears and I felt sick to my stomach for not eating this morning but I couldn’t stomach anything but coffee and tea.

“Come one love. We should get back to the others. Your shaking, we can come here again once it’s nicer. You need rest and something to eat,” Levi said and helped me up. I didn’t resist much in getting up. I was started to not be able to feel my hands, face and feet. We made it make to the lot where everyone was gathered around talking, sobbing or staying quiet.

“I want to go to the cafe,” I whispered. It was open yet but I knew that Isabel and Furlan would be there. I just wanted to be around all my friends at once and try to get through my day without the urge to disappear. 

“Alright, we’ll all head there,” Hanji said.

“I’ll drive you. You're still shaking,” Erwin said and held his hand out for the keys to Jude’s car. I was reluctant to hand them over but I knew that I was no shape at all drive and honestly if I did I wouldn’t be going to cafe… Levi didn’t look like he was going to agree but kept his mouth shut.

“I’ll take the long way and meet you all there,” Erwin mumbled and we walked over to the old beat up car that has seen so many sneaking outs and angry drives. We got into and I did my seat belt up right away. I was on automatic now and I couldn’t stop it. Erwin noticed the bag that I threw into the back seat that contained an extra set of clothes for when I got the boxing gym thing.

“You were planning on leaving weren’t you?” he asked and started to car. I frowned and watched as everyone started to pull out of the parking lot.

“Yeah…” I mumbled. Again I couldn’t seem to lie to him and it made me feel like shit because no one was going to be able to stop me from going. They couldn’t last year and they can’t this year.

“I’ll take after,” was all he said as he started to drive in the opposite direction as the others. 

“I need to go. I need to keep doing it. It was something Jude and I used to run off and do whenever we got in trouble, had a fight or needed to be alone. We started doing it for bonding time the day after our birthday when we started our last year of middle school,” I said. I couldn’t believe that I was telling Erwin about this, my father doesn’t even know where we went off to and we told him everything. I still tell him everything.

“I won’t stop you and I’ll talk Levi out of stopping you,” he said. That was the end of the conversation. I could bring myself to say thank you. I no longer trusted my voice and I just wanted to get me some coffee. I couldn’t even focus on the outside world as my eyes started to droop until everything faded and I fell asleep. Curse not sleeping enough last night.

 

**

Erwin must have left me in the car to sleep when we got to the cafe because when she opened her tired eyes she was packed in the parking lot of the cafe. She figured Erwin wanted her to get as much rest as good which she was thankful for. She got out of the car, grabbing her bag and walked into the cafe. Everyone was scattered across the seating area and she spotted Levi talking with her dad. She walked over and wrapped her arms around Levi who smiled down at her.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked.

“Yeah. I feel a lot better as well,” I mumbled and rested my head on him. I was feeling a lot better now and was actually happy that I was now 17. Things were looking better and I was getting better as well. We leave for Paris not even 48 hours. I the only reason I would be going to school tomorrow is to hand in my final booklet of the year and pick up a bunch of booklets to start on for next year. Levi smiled as he held me close to him, then went back to his conversation with my father about Paris. 

“So it’s safe to say that you and my daughter have been sharing a room am I right?” my father brought up all of sudden causing my eyes to go wide and dark blush to dance across my face. 

“D-Dad…” I whined.

“Yes, we have. Nothing has happened I can assure you that,” Levi answered. I looked up at him to see a tint of blush on his face which I thought was so cute.

“I- have problems falling asleep alone now…” I said and looked back at the ground. I haven’t really talked to my dad about what happened since I don’t see him as much as I used and he rarely asked about since it’s such a sore subject. 

“That’s fine my dear, you are 17 now,” my dad said and winked.

“Oh my god dad stop,” I whined again shaking my head. I swear he is a character all on his own… I love my dad though. He’s always just a call away, I don’t have to worry about him as much as well since Petra is with him now. Petra was also always a call away now I guess. She treats my father amazing and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I tuned my father and Levi out not noticing it when Isabel came up to me.

“Hey, Oliver come, I’ll make you a cup of coffee,” she said and tugged me away from Levi. I was startled since I was in my own little world and didn’t actually register that she was talking to me but went along with it since I was probably getting something good out of.

“While we are in Paris I want to have a day with you and the other girls!” she said and started to make a cup of coffee confirming my previous thoughts.   
“That sounds good to me!” I said and smiled. My mood was improving more and more as the day went by which I wasn’t used on my birthday. I thought of all the awesome things we could and since we were at a resort we wouldn’t really have to worry about being cold or anything unless we want to explore Paris. Isabel and I got into a conversation about how Paris was since Isabel used to live there before moving here with Furlan and opening the cafe. They moved here because they knew that Levi wouldn’t be leaving this place. Personally, I don’t think I’d actually never leave either I love it here, all my friends and family are here.

 

**

A couple of hours later since I Isabel decided last minute that she wasn’t going to actually open the cafe we were all still sitting and chatting away. I looked at the time and frowned. I needed to leave to go to the private gym. I knew once I was there it would hit all over again but I also knew that I would be able to get past it and conquer the feeling. I excused myself and walked up to Erwin who was talking to Marco about the artwork in the cafe and how to update it.

“That time?” he asked noticing me and I nodded.

“I’m going to go now. Dad, I’ll come back this time,” I said.

“Where are you going?” Levi asked. His face read worry and I felt horrible for not telling him. 

“Somewhere Jude and I used to always go. Erwin will drive me. Don’t worry I’ll be back no later than 11 tonight,” I said and kissed his cheek. He frowned, clearly upset that I wasn’t telling him but I needed to do this alone. The only reason Erwin is coming is that he found out I was planning on leaving and said he’d drive me. I left soon after saying goodbye and we headed out and towards an abandoned looking building that wasn’t actually abandoned. 

“This is the place?” Erwin asked. He sounded a little shocked that of places I come here.

“Yeah. The outside looks so beat up and worn down but then inside is what I come for. There is a boxing ring and punching bags down in the basement. Jude and I have been coming here since the age of 12 when we're finally able to go out on our own,” I said and walked in the front door. 

“Ollie dear is that you?” the kind old man said coming out of the room that was attached to the lobby area.

“Yeah Gramps it’s me,” I said and smiled. 

“Hello, sweetheart. I was wondering where you were. Happy birthday, darling,” he pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. He's such a sweet old man.

“I see you brought a friend this time,” he turned to Erwin and smiled at him.

“I see to it that you're taking good care of her Erwin?” I was shocked to here Gramps call Erwin. Did they know each other?

“Yeah she’s Levi’s girlfriend,” Erwin replied with and put his hand on my shoulder. 

“How do you know each other?” I asked and looked at the two of them.

“I used to come here with Hanji and Levi just before we started school,” Erwin said and smiled.

“That is true. Now, come, come, the both of you. I have your gift Ollie,” Gramps said and smiled. He ushered us into the room he just came out of and had us sit at the table. I smiled, he was always such a sweet old man. His name is Alvin but he insists on all young people calling him Gramps. The first thing I noticed was the large gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the table. He’s the only person I accept gifts from on my actual birthday since Jude died. I thanked Gramps as he passed me a cup of steaming hot coffee, he gave one to Erwin as well and then down with a cup of tea for himself. He pushed the box towards me and told me to open it as he was getting impatient. Typical gramps. I set my coffee down and opened the box. I pulled out about 6 pairs of new work out tights, 5 new tanks tops, a pair of baby blue boxing gloves and a whole bunch of photos from over the years of Jude and I. The photos brought tears to my eyes but I still loved them so much. I got up and hugged gramps.

“Thank you, gramps. I love them all so much!” I said wiping the tears that fell down my cheeks. He hugged back just as tight and smiled.

“Your welcome Ollie now finish your Coffee and kick that punching bags arse. No one should be here at all today,” Gramps said and smiled. I smiled back and l sat back down. While we drank our coffee and tea we talked about our plans and that we were going to Paris. He had us promise that we’d come back and tell him about it after. Once coffee and tea time was over it was time for me to get to business and get out all these pent up emotions out. I went to the little change room that was there, changed into a new pair of  [ tights and the top ](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1cbvUX21TBuNjy0Fjq6yjyXXaH/2018-Spring-Women-Fashion-Black-Mesh-Stitching-Tracksuit-Quick-Dry-Transparency-Sexy-Hooded-Sweatshirt-Workout-Suit.jpg) that went with it. This outfit would be perfect for parkour. I went out to the ring put my gloves on and got into the ring. Gramps had it all set up already and after that everything was a blur. As soon as I was in the ring my emotions went wild and I just started to punch, moving onto different things. Erwin even helped me near the end when I was a little calmer. This… This is what was normal for me before Jude died. Taking my anger and sadness out on a bag and not my own body. This is what I was going to go back to.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard for me to write which in turn made it extremely late. I'm so sorry for the wait!

I was sitting beside Levi on the couch. We had just finished packing for Paris so now we were resting until we had to go to work. I remembered the cameras each of us were given so that we could vlog and do our intros wherever we were ready.

“Levi, I’m going to start my intro for the channel,” I said and got up.

“Alright. I’ll probably do mine after. It’s not going to be eventful,” he said, mumbling the last part.

“Alright!” I said and walked off to my room to get ready. Once I was changed, I put a little makeup on mostly just hiding a scar that on my face from my mother.  I did a little eyeshadow and adjusted my newly dyed black to pastel blue hair. I pulled out the camera and turned it on holding it.

“Heyo what’s up I’m Oliver and I’m 1/6 of Little Titans Crew! Well I mean there are more than six of us but the others won't really be on the channel much! They work in the background and I’m sure there will be a video introducing them!” I said looking at the camera, I gace a peace sign and smiled brightly. I still had no idea what to do for it. I remember Isabel saying something about introducing ourselves and telling them a little bit about ourselves.

“Well, you all probably want to know a little bit about myself. Well for starters I'm the youngest out of us all in the Little Titan Crew. I just turned 17 a couple days ago! I love to draw, sing, dance, play instruments. Basically, I like anything that has to do with art! Currently, I’m in my third year of high school and I’m an arts major, at least I think that’s what they call us,” I said and shrugged. This seemed easier than I thought it would be and I kind of liked having the camera in my hand. I got up from my bed and decided I’d show them around.

“Let’s go on a walk!” I said and left my room. This was so much fun!

“Hmmmm let’s see. What else can I tell you guys about myself?” I asked the camera as if they could answer me back. I probably looked like a crazy person.

“Oliver, what are you doing?” Hanji said coming with Armin.

“Being a crazy person and getting a cup of tea! I’m doing my introduction for the channel,” I said and smiled. I said and pulled a cup out of the cupboard with my free hand.

“Ahhh let me say hi!” Hanji said and came over.

“Guys this is Hanji!! Hanji is one of the behind the scenes people!” I said and smiled. Hanji waved and said hi.

“And this is my best friend Armin! He’s 2/6 of the crew!” I said and turned so that Armin was in the view now. He put his head on my shoulder and gave me an awkward hug.

“Hi! I’m Armin! It is in fact true. I’m one of Oliver’s best friend!” he smiled and slightly waved to the camera.

“I love my best friend guys,” I said and went to over the stove. I turned it on since there was already water in it from this morning.

“I love you too Oliver,” he chuckled and said bye. I said bye back and he left the kitchen with Hanji.

“I’ve known Armin for….. About…. 9 years now? Wow, I didn’t even realize it had been so long!” I exclaimed and smiled. I left the kitchen and went over to the couch.

“Levvviiiii,” I whined.

“I don’t know what else to say to themmmmm,” I said.

“I don’t know what to say to you about that Oliver,” he said and gave a half smile.

“Guys this Levi. He’s another member of the crew annnddddd,” I wink at the camera without actually saying that he is my boyfriend. I didn’t want to say anything about it just in case Levi didn’t want it out in public.

“I’m your boyfriend, not a winky face,” he chuckled and wrapped his arms around me. It surprised me that he was so affectionate in front of the camera. I giggled and smiled.

“Yes, that’s true. You’re my boyfriend!” I smiled, I loved saying that he was my boyfriend. It gave me such a warm feeling inside.

“So Levi what else should I tell them about myself,” I said and wiggled my way between his legs so that I was lying partly on his chest.

“What have you told them?” he asked resting his head on my own while still looking at the TV.

“That I love anything that has to do with art, I’m the youngest, Armin is my best friend, I’m in my third year of high school and you're my boyfriend,” I shrugged.

“Wow so informative Ol,” he sarcastically said to me and rolled my eyes.

“I don’t know what to say,” I said.

“Well how about how you help Isabel sew all the cosplays together?” Levi said.

“Oh yeah. I do that too! Well, guys, I have to make sure I have everything ready for when we leave for Paris Tomorrow and I have to get my tea! Bye bye for now! Stay beautiful and stay you!” I shut the camera off after waving and giving a peace sign.

“I don’t mind holding the camera. I thought I wouldn’t like it as much as I did,” I said and rested my head on Levi’s chest. I was comfortable.

“You looked like you were comfortable with it,” he said and started to play with my hair.

“I was worried about it,” I said truthfully.

“I have the kettle on so I have to go check it now. Want a cup of tea?” I said and wiggled my way out of his hold.

“Sure,” he said and smiled at me. And that how the rest of our day went. I went to the cafe to help Isabel lock everything up for the upcoming three weeks that we wouldn’t be there.

 

*Next day, 3:30 AM*

I woke up feeling all giddy and excited. I took a quick shower changed into a pair of skinny jeans with rips on the legs, a long sleeve white top and Erwin’s sweater. I threw my hair in a messy bun and packed my carry on bag with my laptop, laptop charger, drawing tablet, extra batteries for the tablet, headphones, phone charger, camera, charged camera batteries and some other random things. I’m so glad I went and got a book bag big enough for all my things. I walked to the living with my heavy book bag hanging off my shoulder. Levi and Erwin were talking and I’m guessing that Hanji had left already to pick up Armin, Eren and Mikasa since I didn’t hear or see them.

“Ready Ollie?” Erwin asked.

“Yeah, did Hanji go and pick up the Mikasa, Eren and Armin?” I asked and sat in between the two of them.

“Yeah, Hanji’s also getting coffee, tea and hot chocolate for us,” Levi said. I nodded and rested my head on the back of the couch.

“Are you excited to go to Paris? You can finally meet Levi’s parents,” Erwin said and smiled.

“Yeah. I’m excited to meet his mom more so than his father,” I replied and looked at Levi who just shrugged.

“I don’t plan on spending much time with them,” he said and shrugged again as the door opened and in came four who were previously mentioned. Everyone would be meeting here the dorm and then we’d all head out together. Levi’s grandmother and my father paid for a private flight since there were so many of us going. There’s Mikasa, Annie, Marco, Jean, Armin, Eren, Erwin, Hanji, my father, Petra, Levi’s grandmother, Levi, and I going, so a total of thirteen of us all together. AKA a lot of people. I was so excited.

“Livy! Are you excited?!” Eren called out and walked over.

“Yeah, are you guys excited?” I asked and smiled. I felt arms around my waist and I was pulled towards Levi. I let out a small squeal and noticed that Armin actually had his camera out.

“Armin please tell me you're not going to show anyone that,” I whined as he laughed.

“Not too many people just a few dozens that follow us on YouTube,” he said in a sing-song voice and I groaned. Damn it.

“You two are so touchy feely. You really wouldn’t suspect that from Levi,” Hanji squealed out and my face went red.

“Shush,” I said and hid my face. Everyone arrived shortly after that and we left. It was apparently going to be a long flight so I was prepared to spend it curled in a ball on my seat beside Armin by the window reading, watching anime and drawing. Levi was going to sit with his grandmother and me kind of wanted to sit beside Armin anyway so that we could start a new anime together. When we arrived at the airport we were brought right to the plane. Once seated on the plane and comfortable I brought out my laptop and headphones.

“What are we going to watch Armin?” I asked as he searched up an anime for us to binge on this flight and probably at night in the resort room.

“I was thinking about watching My Hero Academia. I heard some people at the cafe talking about so I thought it would be a good idea,” he smiled and clicked on the first episode. I passed him an earbud and began to watch it.

 

*Time skip to destination*

I hate plane landings officially. I ended up getting pretty sick the last half hour of the ride, it wasn’t pleasant. Levi was with me the entire time I got sick and once we got off he brought me to a family washroom where I could freshen up. I had a massive headache and I just wanted to go to sleep. I was in pain as well. Needless to say, once we were at the hotel and I was in my room with Levi since we were in pairs of two I changed and lay on the bed, falling asleep, even if it was only seven in the evening.

 

Levi*

 

Once Oliver fell asleep I smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead. This small girl changed my life for the best and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I left her a note saying that I would be downstairs meeting with my parents with Oliver’s father and Petra. Not that I actually wanted to… I wanted to get into bed with Oliver and sleep beside her.

Sighing I left the room with my wallet, kay card, phone, headphone and shoulder bag. I threw my wallet and keycard into the bag and closed the door quietly behind me. I met my grand-mere at the elevator and sighed.

“There you are, dear. I thought you weren’t going to show for a minute there. Is Oliver not doing too well?” she asked. I love that she cares so much about Oliver even if she just met her a couple of months ago.

“No, she still sick. She’s asleep right now. Honestly, I think we all know that I’d rather be in bed with Oliver asleep,” I sighed and stood beside her as she pressed the button.

“Come on now dear. You were so excited to see your mother,” grand-mere said as the elevator door opened and we walked in. Grandmere looped her arm with my own and I sighed.

“I know but I have a bad feeling about this,” I said as I watched the numbers light up as we slowly made our descent.

“This time around you have more people who care about you. Oliver will keep you grounded,” she said.

“It’s not me I’m worried about. I’m much better than the last time we visited them,” I mumbled. I took a breath in and continued.

“It’s Oliver. I don’t want her to feel unsafe or have a relapse because she remembers what her mother and uncle did to her,” I said as the door slide open to reveal the almost empty lobby of the water resort my grand-mere owned.

“Then be the one to keep her grounded. Keep her distracted, take her to the gym we have. She’s surrounded by people who will help her,” she said. I said my thanks to her and walked over Petra and Oliver’s father who was sitting on a bench talking and holding hands. They got pretty close pretty fast.

“Hey there Levi. Oliver in bed?” Mr. Clear asked.

“Yeah she wasn’t feeling the best so I told her to go to sleep,” I said and offered a small smile. My parents walked in shortly after and I stiffened feeling physically sick but still happy to see my mother. The four of us walked over and I offered a smile to my mom who smiled back and pulled me into a hug.

“Levi baby it’s so good to see you!” I hugged her back smiling a little.

“It’s good to you as well maman,” I said and stiffly nodded towards my father.

“What no hello for me you ungrateful swine,” my father hissed.

“Honey stop. That’s not something you should say to your son,” my mother hissed.

“Don’t even pull that with me. You know he is,” he grumbled. I rolled my eyes and took a step back. I wasn’t going to deal with this kind of mental abuse again. I already let it affect me throughout my childhood.

“Levi, say hello to your father,” my mother sternly directed me to do.

“Hello pere,” I stiffly said to him keeping my distance.

“Where's this girlfriend of your child?” he barked.

“Why would you want to know or care to know?” I hissed.

“Levi sweetie, calm down,” my mother said standing between us.

“Get him to calm down. You know I did not want to see him at all,”

“Levi enough. He is your father,” her tone of voice was stern and as much as I loved my mother I wasn’t going to stop because she told me to.

“Father… He sure doesn’t act like one maman,” I hissed once more.

“Levi,” my grand-mere said putting a hand on my shoulder. I took a deep breath in and let it out. I hate it when we have to come to visit my parents. I hate it a lot. I love seeing my mother but I hate my father so much.

“Enough out of both you. We came here to see you Levi and meet your girlfriend,” my mother was clearly upset by my father and my interactions together.

“She’s not feeling well so she’s laying down,” I said and looked at my mother who sighed.

“Didn’t she know we were coming? Ungrateful brat. We are busy people,” my father hissed. I tensed up and was about to take a step forward but Oliver’s father put a hand on my shoulder.

“Do /NOT/ call my daughter an ungrateful brat,” his tone was dangerously low and it was the first time I’ve ever heard it like that.

“Oh look she even has a cripple for a father,” my father hissed back.

“You have no right to take about Oliver and Jason like that,” Petra said, she looked physically upset by the way my father was talking about Oliver and her dad. I didn't blame her though.

“Jacob enough. You're being rude. Levi’s girlfriend is sick we can meet her another day,” my mother hissed.

“I do not appreciate the way you are speaking towards my grandson's girlfriend Jacob,” my grand-mere said in a stern tone.

“I’ll speak however I want,” my father hissed.

“Shut up. I can take it if you harassing me but leave them alone damn it,” I nearly yelled.

“Levi enough speaking to your father like that,” my mother said.

“Then tell him to stop. He does this every time maman,” I hissed.

“Shut your mother boy,” my father said taking a step towards me.

“Back up right now or I will call security,” grand-mere threatened.

“You can’t make me,” he hissed raising his head to me. I closed my eyes waiting for the compact of his head hitting my face. I felt the impact of the slap and my cheek stung, it was a hard hit.

“I think it’s best that you leave now before I call the cops on you for hitting my grandson,” grand-mere hissed.

“He’s my son I can hit him all I want,” my father challenged. I took a cautious step backwards and Oliver’s father put a put on my arm in a comforting way. I looked at him and he gave me a small smile.

“No one should have to deal with that abuse son, absolutely no one. Don’t ever think it’s your fault,” he said and patted my arm. His hand moved to my own pale one and gave it a squeeze. I felt accepted by him more than ever now. He continued to hold my hand through the fighting that my mother, grand-mere and father were doing. It made me feel secure and welcomed.

“Leave, now,” grand-mere hissed as security came up to them to defuse the issue.

“Jacob let’s go. We’ll come back your calmer. That was rude and disrespectful of you,” my mother hissed towards my father whole glared at my mother. She shrank back and I wanted nothing more than to help her but I knew that I couldn’t. I stood there with my head down. I felt weak at this moment and I hated it. Some tears slipped down my face before I could stop them and all of a sudden I was sobbing. Oliver’s father pulled me into a hug. Normally I would have pushed away but I needed one. I needed to cry, I needed to break down in order for me to get better.

“Why does this always happen?” I asked my voice raw and course from crying.

“I don’t know dear but remember that you're not alone alright,” grand-mere said and ran her fingers through my hair. Oliver’s father continued to hold me as I cried for a solid half an hour in the lobby of my grand-mere’s water resort. Once I was finished crying I thanked him for helping me.

“Your welcome Levi. You don’t deserve a father like that at all. Your an amazing young man and you're always welcome to come to talk to me,” he said.

“Thank you. I-I’m going to go upstairs and sleep. I’m not hungry and I just want to sleep right now” I mumbled.

“Alright love,” grand-mere said and hugged me. Petra gave me a hug as well and I made my way upstairs. It’s been so long since I sat down and cried like that. Once I was in the room I change quickly and quietly and got in bed with Oliver. I got close to her and closed my eyes as the tears still fell. Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep that evening.


End file.
